


Grateful

by EatSleep



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Familiars, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Romance, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2019-07-24 18:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 68,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16180391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EatSleep/pseuds/EatSleep
Summary: The rape of Hermione Granger is a sore subject. She doesn't want people to know, nor sympathy, hugs, kind words, or someone to sugar-coat things. Her list of requests is what led her to approach Professor Snape deep within the night and utter those three words. She hadn’t expected it to change her life completely. Rated M.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story follows the progression of a friendship through to a romantic relationship between Hermione and Severus — it focuses on a very serious subject so those who do not like to read this sort of thing may want to leave now. It deals with the way rape can affect someone throughout their life. This won’t be as dark as you think it will be; there’s a lot of fluff and humour mixed in, but there’s also dark subjects. 
> 
> This is currently up to chapter 18 on fanfic.net, but I'll be releasing it here every couple of days so I can read over each chapter then post it!
> 
> Also, this could be considered Draco-bashing (I’m a fan of his character, I just needed a bad guy for this story) so go ahead with caution.

Chapter One 

 

Hermione scrubbed furiously at her body. The tough bristles caused her skin to rise up in scratch marks, and dots of blood seeped through her disturbed flesh. Her hiccuped sobs echoed around the Head Girl’s bathroom, but no one was around to hear.  
  
She suddenly felt the ghost of his lips against her neck. Her pained cry hurt her throat as she brushed her neck violently.   
  
**_His body crushed hers to the cold stone, and she screamed at herself to move, but the binding spell restricted any movement. A helpless sob came from her throat, and he moved his mouth towards her exposed chest._ ** ****_  
_   
It had happened too quickly. The war was over, so she didn’t feel the need to have her guard up all the time. Harry and Ron decided not to return to Hogwarts leaving her on her own. They abandoned her. No visits. No letters. No invites. Nothing.   
  
_I’m naïve and...so incredibly stupid._ She bit down hard on her bottom lip drawing blood. Her tight curls clung to her neck and back; she tried her best to see through her sore eyes, but the surrounding steam was thick. She’d charmed the water to be extremely hot because she wished to disinfect herself.   
  
**_His wet lips touched her neck and he pushed himself inside of her. The evidence of her innocence was stolen with a quick thrust, and she felt a hot pain deep inside of her. Tears drenched her face, but her body still wouldn't move._ ** ****_  
_   
Tonight was the Halloween Ball. She’d gone with the company of Ginny and Luna, only to escape into the castle gardens for some fresh air. The war had left her with many scars, both physical and mental, so sometimes she needed time to herself.   
  
She should’ve seen it coming. After pleading for his life, they allowed Draco back into Hogwarts—Professor Snape had helped him—and the idea that he may be out to get her never crossed her mind. Hermione had accepted that he may be on the road to becoming a better person—how wrong she had been.   
  
**_“I know you've wanted this for a long time…” He grunted and thrust into her once more._ **   
  
Hermione had washed the dry blood from between her legs before the attack on the rest of her body began. What was she supposed to do now? If someone was to ask her about her first time, she wouldn’t be able to lie without the memories flooding back. _What do I do?_ She repeated it in her mind, and kept clamping her eyes shut in pain.   
  
He had only left a few marks on her body—mainly her hips—meaning the rest of the damage was internal and mental. Would she have to face him every day and remember the grunts he made? Hermione shook her head frantically and cried out as she vomited into the water.   
  
She had to tell someone what had happened, but she didn’t know who to turn to. Headmistress McGonagall would wish to hug her while telling her that everything will be OK— _it won’t be fine, things will never be fine again_ —Ginny would hex immediately then tell Harry and Ron.   
  
Hermione didn’t want many people to know, nor did she want sympathy, hugs, kind words, or someone to sugar-coat things. She needed someone who would help her without a doubt, but treat her as if she was capable of looking after herself. She needed someone that could help her with a single look instead of a ramble of words.   
  
It’s true that she isn't in the right frame of mind, but only one name rung true when she thought about it. Yes, it may not be the right person to visit this late at night, however, once her disturbed mind focused on his name, everything made sense.   
  
Hermione forced herself to get out of the hot water and away from her sick. Her ripped dress lay nearby, and she stared at it blankly. Everyone was in bed now, so there was only one place he could be. She tried to stand up straight but a pain in her stomach crippled her.   
  
Another cry escaped her lips and her body began to tremble. She couldn’t think clearly enough to conjure up some new clothes, so in her confused state of mind, she slipped back on her torn dress. Her knees protested as she stood up straight and wrapped an arm around her cramping stomach.   
  
Hermione walked out of the bathroom with her bare feet leaving behind wet prints. She made her way towards the dungeons and used the wall for support. There shouldn’t be many teachers patrolling the hall as most of them would have the night off thanks to the Ball.   
  
She ran her tongue along her bloody lip and struggled to manoeuvre herself down some steps. Another tremor rocked her body causing her to whimper in the darkness; it echoed off the walls, so she tried her best to move quickly.   
  
Five minutes later, she arrived outside the potions classroom. Her hands shook as she pushed open the heavy door; she didn’t distribute her weight evenly, and stumbled to her knees with a cry. The empty room didn’t hinder her yelp, and she knew that he would’ve heard.   
  
Hermione fell on her front when she heard another door open with a creak. She tried her best to push herself onto her knees, but her body curled in on itself, and she sobbed loud enough for him to hear.   
  
“Who’s there?” he snarled, and she listened to the sound of his footsteps on the cold floor.   
  
“S-Sir…” she whimpered into the dust.   
  
“Miss—Granger!” his voice bounced off the walls.   
  
She heard his footsteps become faster, then his knees lowered to the floor next to her. He was still wearing his robes from the Ball.   
  
He glanced out of the open door then back down at her. “What happened?” he slipped off his outer robe and placed it over her. His strong hand cupped her elbow, and he helped her sit up. Hermione's bottom lip quivered, and she finally looked into the eyes of the man she saved a few months ago.   
  
“I-I was raped.”   
  
Silence. She hadn't expected much else from him, but his face stayed motionless for what felt like an eternity. He moved his hand away from her like she’d burnt him and pulled out his wand.   
  
“I'll get the Headmistress-”   
  
“No!” she grabbed hold of his arm and choked on her sob. “Please—please don't tell anyone!”   
  
He stared at her for a while, and she could see that his mind was running miles a minute. “I have to inform the Headmistress of this—can you stand up?”   
  
“No...no no no no no,” she lay back down on the floor and brought her knees to her chest. “D-Don't tell anyone...please, sir.”   
  
Another long silence fell.   
  
He cleared his throat. “Who...Miss Granger, who was it?”   
  
“No no no no no no…”   
  
“Miss Granger, I know this is the last thing you may want right now, but can I touch you,” she glanced at him warily. “I need to get you somewhere more comfortable, and levitating you isn't the best idea right now.”   
  
She nodded her head with a whimper, and her eyes observed him closely as he placed his arm under her knees and the other around her waist. He lifted her with ease, and relief flooded her veins when he didn't walk out the door, instead, he headed towards his chambers.   
  
The door opened to his private quarters, and he carried her inside. There was a sofa in front of the fire, and a wingback chair accompanied it. She didn't pay the room any more attention.   
  
The idea of sleep began to appeal to her.   
  
Hermione inhaled a shuddering breath, ultimately taking in the smell of her Professor. _He smells...safe_ . She cringed when she saw the wetness on his robes from her tears, but it didn't seem to bother him.   
  
He slowly lowered her down onto the sofa, and she suddenly became aware of the pain her body was in. She must've scrubbed hard because she could see her raised, split skin easily. She had to stay on her back because it hurt when she lay on her side. Her neck was on fire, but the worst pain was in her abdomen.   
  
“S-Sir...I'm going to be-” there was a wooden bucket thrust before her, and she sat to throw up the acids in her stomach. Her hair started to fall around her face, and she remembered that it was still very wet.   
  
The tip of Professor Snape's wand touched her temple, and he cast a drying charm. It helped relieve the intense tremors that rocked her body. He glanced at the damage she’d done to her skin, then disappeared for a few minutes, so she placed the bucket on the floor and lay back down.   
  
When he returned, she was crying hysterically and trying her best not to choke on her tears. If it made him uncomfortable, he wasn't showing it.   
  
He conjured a pillow, then placed his hand on the back of her head, so he could lift it up and slip the plump cushion behind her. She was grateful for a bit more support. Snape handed her a glass of water and her hands shook, causing the water to spill. He gently took it away from her and brought it to her lips. She swallowed the liquid down her sore throat then winced.   
  
He placed the glass on the small table next to the sofa, then he scratched the side of his face and looked at her. She could tell he wanted to ask more questions, but he continued to watch over her shaking body. He soon retrieved a blanket and tried to remove his robe from her, however, she groaned out a “no” and held it tighter. She wouldn’t admit it right now, but she liked the comfort it brought her.   
  
Snape didn’t question her answer, and draped the blanket over the back of the sofa, then let his eyes wander over her sore skin. He disappeared quickly only to return to her crying again. He still didn’t say anything. With a salve in hand, he started to work it into her blemished skin. Not once did his eyes stray from hers.   
  
It was a tender gesture, one she didn’t know she’d wanted. There was no panic rushing through her body when she felt the salve seep into her skin. It was all because he wouldn’t look away from her; he was making sure that her mind didn't flash back to the event that landed her here.   
  
The process went on for a few minutes, and she continued to stare into his dark eyes. Her body still shook from the cold dungeon air, but her tears had started to dry, leaving behind bloodshot eyes. Her hair—without a doubt—looked inexplicable; she didn’t need a mirror to know that it was an unruly mess. A drying spell never helped tame her frizz.   
  
“Miss Granger…” he drawled never taking his eyes away from her. “I need to ask you a very sensitive question…” he trailed off waiting for the nod of her head. “Did he...did he finish inside of you…?”   
  
Hermione knew there was no way anyone could sugar-coat that for her, however, it still made her bottom lip tremble, and she nodded her head. She heard him mutter something under his breath but didn’t quite catch it. He disappeared from her eyeline again, and she willed the tears to bugger off from her eyes.   
  
She started to wonder how she would feel tomorrow. Would she cry and want sympathy? There’s no going back now; she didn’t want people knowing about it. She didn’t want the Headmistress or her so-called friends to know. Professor Snape was the best option, yet it was selfish of her to assume he could deal with all this. She may have saved his life, but she didn’t want him to feel like he owed her one—he didn’t.   
  
“Open your mouth for me, Miss Granger,” he kept up the appropriate formalities but there was no sign of his familiar scowl. A sour potion entered her throat, and she choked on its icky taste. Hermione knew what it was from his earlier question; it’s like the morning after pill that Muggle’s use. She hadn’t thought about it until he’d brought it up.   
  
One thing Hermione was thankful for was that it happened to be Saturday tomorrow. She would have two days to collect herself and be ready for lessons on Monday. It would be hard to avoid people if it had been a school day tomorrow.   
  
Her body started to shake more. Snape retrieved the blanket from the back of the sofa and put it over her. She was grateful for the second layer of warmth and nuzzled her head into the comfy pillow.   
  
“Do you feel pain anywhere else?” he asked softly, and she winced. “Miss Granger?”   
  
“M-My…” her bottom lip quivered. “He took my—s-sir…”

The words wouldn’t come out of her mouth, and she cried out in annoyance. Snape seemed to understand what she meant from the few words that did make it out. With a look of anguish on his face, he disappeared again and returned a few moments later with another phial. It was cold against her lips, and she recognised the taste of the pain reliever.

“Do you want to try to get some sleep?” she nodded her head and clung to the blanket.  
  
“W-Will you stay?” she whispered.   
  
He nodded and moved to sit in the wingback chair.   
  
Hermione watched the flames rise a little higher and the warmth soon comforted her cold skin. It wasn't long before the fire lulled her into a deep sleep, completely aware that he was watching her intently from his chair.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter 2:  
  
The weekend seemed to pass in the blink of an eye.  
  
Hermione stood in front of her mirror, staring mindlessly at her reflection. _School…I have to go into a classroom today...he’ll be there...I can't do this!_  
  
Hermione started to pace around her bedroom with Crookshanks sticking close to her ankles. Professor Snape had spoken to her briefly about what she was to do now: go and see him after the day is over, check in with him before she goes to bed, always ask for him to escort her if she feels unsafe—oh, and she has until the end of today to tell him who did it.  
  
_I'm more worried about that than anything...what's wrong with me?!_  
  
She couldn't fault Professor Snape, he'd responded perfectly and didn't look at her in that pitiful way. Phials of Dreamless Sleep lay inside her bedside table, and it was one of the reasons why she had to see Snape so much. _He needs to monitor how much I'm taking._  
  
Nightmares were yet to plague her, but she knew they would follow the moment she stopped taking the potion.  
  
When she awoke in his quarters, he offered her breakfast and a warm cup of tea. Not once did he mention it. He hardly looked at her—she was grateful for that. They lounged about for the morning until a house-elf brought her some of her clothes from her bedroom, and she finally took a relaxing bath.  
  
Once she appeared clean, Professor Snape told her his long list of demands. She could tell he was doing his best to not be his normal character, and once again, she found herself feeling grateful.  
  
_Here I am._  
  
Hermione’s hands started to shake as she pushed some of her hair away from her face. An overwhelming urge to be sick consumed her, so she took a sip of water from the glass on her bedside table.  
  
“I can do this...deep breath.”  
  
There wasn’t a book she could read about what was the right or wrong way to act after such an attack; it angered her very much, but she knew that her mind was in a murky place right now. _I need to keep my head up high...don’t let it show._  
  
She stared at herself in the mirror some more then nodded her head and left.  
  
The Head Boy was a Ravenclaw called Richard, she didn’t see him often, but he was a calming presence to have around now-and-then. Thankfully, he wasn’t in the common room that they shared, so she left her room behind and headed down to the Great Hall.  
  
She made her way to an empty spot and stared blankly at the food in front of her. Ginny sat a few places down and seemed oblivious to her arrival. Hermione sighed and fiddled with the silver fork nearby.  
  
The food didn’t call to her. When she looked at everyone eating around her, the sick feeling stirred in her stomach again. _I’m OK....everything is all right._ She didn’t dare let her eyes wander in the direction of the Slytherin table.  
  
_Slytherin...Malfoy—I’m going to be sick!_  
  
Hermione scrambled from her seat, knocking into the person next to her. She mumbled an apology then fled the Great Hall. She made it outside quick enough to throw up on the ground. Her body shuddered beneath an invisible weight— _will it always be like this?_  
  
“Here,” a bronze goblet appeared in front of her.  
  
She stood up straight and leaned against the wall for support. Professor Snape lingered next to her with his arm outstretched, and she took the drink from him.  
  
“Thank you, sir,” the cup wavered in her trembling hands, but she managed to swallow the water without it falling on her chin.  
  
“Lessons will be starting in a matter of minutes, would you like me to walk you?” Hermione nodded her head and did her best to show him a grateful smile.  
  
Professor Snape delivered her to the first lesson of the day just as the others arrived. He slipped away without a ‘goodbye’, and she watched him go for a few moments, then stepped into the room that contained _it_ .  
  
Hermione sat at the front of the class while he sat at the back. She kept her head down and focused on their new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. _I shouldn’t be here...I know enough about it to pass now._  
  
The minutes ticked by, and she found her attention drawn to the thudding of her fingertips on the desk. Her fingernails were jagged from her nervous nibbles this morning, and her hands continued to shake.  
  
_Perhaps I should go for a walk later on...I could ask Professor Snape if he doesn't mind—_  
  
“Mr Malfoy,” Professor Sniderfield called out for him to answer the question.  
  
Every hair on Hermione's body stood on end. She clenched her legs together, intertwined her fingers and gritted her teeth. _Stop...don't think about it...just stop!_  
  
_Deep breath._  
  
Tears landed on her notebook, and her body soon relaxed as Professor Sniderfield moved on. She discreetly wiped the tears from her face and kept her head down for the rest of the lesson.  
  
When Professor Sniderfield dismissed everyone, Hermione held her books close to her chest and raced towards the doors. She wanted to be the first to her next lesson just in case.  
  
She made the mistake of looking up when a flash of blond moved past her with his friends. He turned to regard her with sparkling eyes and a sly smirk. He hammered the final nail in the coffin by winking at her as he left.  
  
Her hold loosened on her books, and they crashed to the floor. People moved around her until the next group of students came in for their next lesson. She hurried to gather her things then fled the classroom.  
  
_Potions. I have Potions next…_  
  
Hermione ran down the empty corridor, already knowing that she was going to be late to Professor Snape’s lesson. However, something caught her attention.  
  
_The purple piece of tapestry...that's where he—_  
  
Her feet came to an abrupt halt, leaving her to stare blankly at the covered passageway. She swallowed the lump in the back of her throat and watched as it fluttered in the castle’s breeze.  
  
She slowly dropped to her knees and kept her eyes on the piece of fabric. Nothing could stop her body's erratic tremors or the waterfall of tears that fell from her eyes. Her silent sobs didn't alert anyone nearby, so she wasn't sure how long she stayed there, staring.  
  
The sound of someone approaching didn't pull her away from the trance she was in. In a way, she already knew who it was by his light yet demanding footsteps.  
  
“Miss Granger.”  
  
She finally snapped out of her daze. “Hello.”  
  
He crouched down next to her. “You're late to my lesson.”  
  
“I am...sorry.”  
  
He glanced at the item she had been looking at then returned his eyes to her. “Is there a reason for you being on the floor?”  
  
“He...well…” she bit her bottom lip and pointed at the tapestry. “That's where he…”  
  
Snape didn't give much of a reaction, but he stood up and straightened out his robes. “Get up.”  
  
“O-OK,” she pushed herself to her feet, and her knees twitched beneath her weight. “I don't feel too good, sir.”  
  
“I'll escort you back to your room. You'll rest until you have to come and see me later on,” he explained, and she nodded.  
  
Hermione turned to look at the tapestry again then Snape placed a gentle hand on her elbow. “It will be gone by tomorrow, Miss Granger. I'll make sure of it.”  
  
She tried her best to smile at his subtle kindness. They walked away from the painful memory, and Snape collected her books for her. It didn't take long for them to return to her room, and she took the books from him.  
  
“Thank you, sir,” she squeezed them tight against her chest. “Shouldn't y-you be teaching?”  
  
“I left Mr Malfoy in charge so all should be well. Get some rest,” he left quickly, unaware of her flinch at the mention of his name.  
  
                                                                                         …  
  
Hermione's quiet hiccups didn't disturb the gathering downstairs in the common room, and her occasional sobs didn't catch their attention either. _Richard and his friends are having fun, oblivious to my troubled state._  
  
Crookshanks purred in her lap, and she bundled him against her chest. Right now she's meant to be meeting Professor Snape for a chat; it was obvious that he wanted to know who had done it, she just couldn't face walking past all those people downstairs.  
  
A wave of anxiety had crashed over her which is why she's sat on the floor crying. Her chest felt tight, and she couldn't stop her body shaking— _I guess this is an anxiety attack._  
  
She wanted to scream and punch something, everything inside of her felt like it was being pulled and twisted in different directions.  
  
_He's going to be angry with me…I'm scared._  
  
“What do I d-do?” she whimpered into his fur.  
  
Vivid images of that night started to appear at the forefront of her mind. _No, stop it!_  
  
“Get out of my head…please…”  
  
The bedroom floor was cold beneath her, but she didn't wish to move from her awkward position against the side of her bed. Crookshanks nuzzled his nose against her cheek, and she sighed in response.  
  
Someone started knocking on the door. Hermione jumped in surprise and stared at the lock. _Go away…_ The knocking sounded again, and she put her back to the wood.  
  
It never came again and she relaxed with another sigh. _What if it’s Professor Snape?_ She swallowed hard then got to her weak knees. Crookshanks wiggled in her arms, so she let him down and opened the door.  
  
A wand levelled with the lock.  
  
He didn’t seem startled, but she saw an emotion close to panic pass over his face. “Professor?”  
  
“You’ve been crying,” he stated, and she reached up to touch her tear-stained cheek.  
  
“I...I’m sorry for not turning up.”  
  
“Next time answer on the first knock,” he said, then turned to walk off. “Come along.”  
  
“W-Wait!” she went to reach for him, but she flinched back and grabbed her hand with the other. “I don’t want to walk past them.”  
  
“I told the Head Boy’s friends to run along, and I believe he went with them.”  
  
“Oh,” she stared at the floor. “Can I bring Crookshanks?”  
  
The ginger cat strutted out at the mention of his name, and she picked him up. Professor Snape gave him an odd look then nodded. “Let’s go.”  
  
They made their way down to the dungeons. Thankfully, Hermione didn’t pass anyone; it seemed Professor Snape knew the best ways to go about the castle. A chair appeared in front of his desk as they walked into the potions classroom, and she sat down with a nervous look on her face.  
  
Professor Snape retrieved a worn notebook from a nearby shelf, and took the seat opposite her. He grabbed his quill, put on his glasses, then finally looked her way.  
  
“Did you take the Dreamless Sleep potion last night?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“And how are you feeling today?”  
  
“Dirty.”  
  
He stopped writing and stared at her over his glasses. She hadn’t expected herself to answer so honestly; it was true that she felt tainted, but it wasn’t something she wished to admit to her professor.  
  
“I feel...like I need boiling hot water poured over me,” she explained, and Crookshanks licked the back of her hand. “I’m not sure what to do anymore, my mind is a mess.”  
  
He cleared his throat. “That’s understandable after what happened. However, a basic cleansing spell will be less damaging to your body than boiling hot water.”  
  
Hermione tried her best to smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. _This must be difficult for him._ They had never talked about her saving his life, and being in lessons with him was difficult for them both. He’d stopped calling on her in lessons, and ignored her questions on purpose; it didn’t offend her, she only felt guilty for making him uncomfortable.  
  
_Am I doing that now?_  
  
“Tell me what you're thinking,” she became aware of his curious eyes, and she averted her gaze to Crookshanks. Hermione was waiting for him to ask the one question she knew he wanted to ask.  
  
“You don't have to do this, I'm fine on my own.”  
  
“Define fine for me, because I'm certainly not seeing that when I look at you,” his tone wasn't harsh—it had an odd softness to it—yet it didn't stop her worries.  
  
“I'm doing better, I'll get over it-”  
  
“Miss Granger, you saying such a thing a few days after an attack like that, proves to me that you're far from fine. I wouldn't be here as your counsel if I didn't wish to be; I would've passed you on to someone else, disobeying your specific request to not have anyone else know.”  
  
Hermione stared at him in a mild state of awe and shock. She was so used to having him snap or growl at her that she could hardly process the firm yet delicate way he spoke to her.  
  
“I'm sorry.”  
  
“Stop apologising for everything, you've done nothing wrong.”  
  
“OK.”  
  
“I've told the Headmistress that you will be studying Master level potions with me in the evenings. She hasn't questioned it, so if anyone asks where you repeatedly disappear to, tell them that,” she nodded her head just as Crookshanks jumped from her lap and onto his desk.  
  
Professor Snape stopped writing and stared at him. She could sense his unease, so she went to grab him, but he pulled out a cat toy from the drawer of his desk.  
  
“Why do you have that?” Hermione asked just as a black cat sauntered out of the half-open door of his private quarters. “Oh, hello,” she got to her feet and walked over to the slender feline.  
  
“Her name is Penny. I found her in the Forbidden Forest last month,” he said, and Hermione held out her hand for Penny to curiously lick.  
  
“Is she friendly?” Hermione looked at him with a smile.  
  
“She hasn't scratched you yet, so I'm assuming she likes you.”  
  
Hermione bundled her against her chest, and received a deep purr in response. She returned to the seat and glanced at Crookshanks to see he was distracted by the toy Professor Snape had given him.  
  
“Now, I have certain questions for you,” Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off. “Some of which you don't have to answer at this immediate time. The only thing I wish to know now is if there's anything I can do, outside of counsel, that will help you?”  
  
Hermione relaxed into the chair at his words. _What can he do to help me? Erase time? Kill him._  
  
“I like going for walks...I'm not sure I feel right about going on my own anymore,” she explained. “C-Could you maybe join me?”  
  
“Very well, I prefer mornings to nights, but whatever suits your needs.”  
  
“OK, thank you very much, sir.”  
  
“That's all for now. I'll escort you back to your room.”

 


	3. Chapter Three

**_Chapter 3_ **

  
The rest of the week passed painfully slow.   
  
Hermione found some form of peace in the Sunday morning air, but it came with the awareness of Professor Snape's eyes on her. They weren't invading her or making her feel uncomfortable; she just knew he wanted answers that she was too scared to give him.   
  
She had asked him yesterday if he would come with her for a walk, and he told her to come any time before eight in the morning. _I thought about turning up at two o’clock in the morning to see if he would shout at me._   
  
For some reason, she had a feeling he would go with her.   
  
Things hadn't changed much: she still couldn't stop shaking, her mind wouldn't slow down, and Malfoy still walked the halls dragging around the memory of that night. The only improvement that came out of the past week was that she no longer felt dirty.   
  
_I bathe twice a day and scrub every inch of my body. Professor Snape scolded me when I turned up with obvious scratch marks on my arms, then he gave me some salve to heal them._   
  
Every time she visited him, he left the door to his quarters open so Penny could come out. Hermione happily sat in her chair and snuggled the black cat; she talked in hush whispers and listened to Snape's quill scratch against his notebook.   
  
_The moment I step into the potions room, I feel at ease for once._ She couldn't place what it was, but she definitely felt like a weight left her shoulders when she sat down to talk to him.   
  
They were standing by the lake watching the sky start to brighten up, but Hermione was very aware that he was yet to speak. _He usually offers a ‘hello’ — is something wrong?_   
  
Hermione glanced down at her feet and spotted a few stones, so she picked some up and started to skim them across the water. They all landed with a dull thud, and she muttered under her breath in frustration.   
  
“You have to get the right angle,” he said. “Loosen your wrist.”   
  
She offered him a small smile, then followed his instructions. A few of them bounced across the water while others continued their quick descent to the bottom.   
  
“Can I ask you something?” Hermione nodded her head in response. “Why haven't you contacted Potter and Weasley? I assumed you would still be joined at the hip.”   
  
“Not anymore,” she mumbled. “They stopped responding to my letters and invites.”   
  
“They haven't bothered to come and see you?”   
  
“Nope,” she popped the ‘p’ and grunted as she skimmed another stone along the water. “Apparently, all those years of friendship and fighting the Dark Lord meant bugger all to them!” Hermione grabbed a handful of stones and tossed them into the lake.   
  
“Perhaps they are busy with training.”   
  
Hermione knew he was trying to get her to see the positive in things, but her mind seemed to believe only the negative in everything. _I miss them._   
  
“Maybe so.”   
  
“What about your parents-” he stopped, and she saw the moment he remembered what had become of her mother and father.   
  
It was common knowledge that she’d obliviated them before she went gallivanting about with Harry and Ron. _There's no way to get them to remember, so I now have no one left._   
  
“I apologise.”   
  
“You don't have to apologise. I've accepted that I'll never get them back,” she sighed. “I guess it gives me more of a push to really make something of myself in the wizarding world.”   
  
His eyes moved over her face, then he nodded. “We should head back inside, Miss Granger.”   
  
Hermione followed behind him, and she found herself fascinated with the way his robes billowed in the morning wind. They made their way inside, and as they walked down the corridor which contained the purple tapestry, Hermione realised it was no longer there.   
  
The passageway has disappeared. A smile grew on her face, then she gnawed on her bottom lip and stared at the back of Snape's head.

* * *

 

“I've just spoken to the Headmistress, and she wants us to ask around for any event ideas,” Richard explained as he headed towards the door. “Do you want to ask around tomorrow after dinner?”  
  
“Yes,” Hermione smiled at him from the sofa.   
  
“I'll see you later,” he nodded goodbye then shut the door behind him.   
  
She wasn't keen on the idea. _I'll have to talk to so many people...what if they notice that something's wrong? What do I do then?_ Hermione’s chest started to feel tight, and she buried her fingers in her hair.   
  
_I have to go and see Professor Snape again this evening._ Hermione didn't know what to make of her new dependence. _What good could come out of needing to be in his presence? Perhaps it’s his soothing voice and delicate words?_   
  
_Whatever it is, I need him to carry on doing it._   
  
“Hermione?” the door opened and in walked Ginny. “Hello!”   
  
“Hi.”   
  
She walked over to the sofa and sat down with a smile. She hadn’t spoken to her much this past week; it was partly little effort on Hermione's part, but she didn't seem to bother either.   
  
“How have you been? I feel like we haven't talked in forever,” Ginny lightly tapped her arm, leaving Hermione's skin to contort away in agony.   
  
_That's not good._   
  
“I'm fine. How are you?”   
  
“Harry's stopped responding to my letters,” she said. “I'm convinced he's met someone else.”   
  
“I'm sure that's not true,” Hermione offered, but her tone couldn't have sounded more bored.   
  
_Am I supposed to hate having her around?_ She felt like Ginny was invading her personal space, even though the pair had once been familiar with sharing a bed together. _Everything's different now._   
  
“Has he spoken to you?”   
  
“I’m afraid not,” Hermione tried to smile at her, but the voice in her head kept returning to slating Ginny.   
  
_I shouldn’t be like this._   
  
“I have permission to go home next weekend, so I’m going to ask Ron what’s going on. You two left things on uncertain terms—I want you to become my sister-in-law,” she tapped her arm again, and Hermione stared at her burning skin.   
  
Hermione had started to lose her confidence around the time she returned to Hogwarts. _I had this idea in my head that Ron and I would be together when the war came to an end...that’s not what I want anymore._ He stopped responding to her letters, and it led her to believe that she wasn’t good enough for him or anyone else.   
  
_Would he think of me differently if I told him what happened? Am I damaged goods to him now?_ Hermione felt tears sting her eyes, so she glanced down at the pillow in her lap.   
  
“Me too,” Hermione lied.   
  
_I’m a bad person._   
  
“What's the deal with you and Professor Snape?” she asked. “People have seen you walking around with him, and he's always looking at you in the Great Hall.”   
  
The grateful feeling returned. She found comfort in the idea that he was watching her closely to see when she panicked. _Am I being too much of an inconvenience?_ Hermione flinched away from the thought and focused on the fire.   
  
“He's teaching me master level potions. I've learnt everything on the syllabus, so he suggested that I try some out in case I want to carry it on when I leave school.”   
  
“I feel sorry for you, having to spend all that time with the greasy git is enough to drive anyone insane,” she laughed at her own joke, but Hermione stared back at her blankly.   
  
“He's good company.”   
  
“Oh please!” Ginny laughed some more.   
  
“I'm being serious. Professor Snape is a kind man—stop laughing!” Hermione screeched and jumped to her feet to glare down at her. “Get out!”   
  
“What? Hermione-”   
  
“Are you deaf? Get out!”   
  
Ginny stared at her in confusion then slowly walked over to the door. When it shut with a thud, Hermione sat back down and sighed.   
  
_Well, that happened._   
  
She did her best to gain control of her breathing while focusing her mind on something more calming. _I need to see Professor Snape._   
  
Hermione got to her feet and hurried from the common room. She wasn't sure why she did it, perhaps her panicked mind needed her to run, so she did.   
  
She didn't pass many people, but she still managed to collide with someone on her race down to the dungeons. The startled Slytherin cried out as they crashed to the floor, and Hermione scrambled to her feet and stared at him with frightened eyes.   
  
“S-Sorry,” her throat was dry as she spoke, and the young boy got to his feet. She took notice of his bright blond hair and her eyes widened, and she ran off towards the potions room.   
  
_It wasn't him. I thought it was him._   
  
The door had never seemed so far away, but she eventually flung it open in her blind panic—it wasn't much of a surprise that she didn't startle Professor Snape.   
  
Hermione slammed the door shut and took a few seconds to catch her breath.   
  
“What happened?” the sound of his footsteps got closer to her, and she felt his towering presence behind her.   
  
“I...don't know,” she panted. “I panicked.”   
  
“Come and sit down.”   
  
Hermione followed his order and sat at one of the desks. A glass of water appeared before her, and she thanked him with a nod.   
  
“Did anything happen before you started to panic?”   
  
“Richard told me that the Headmistress wants us to talk to the other students about event ideas,” she explained, and Snape scratched the side of his face.   
  
“Does the idea of talking to others make you feel unsettled or is it the thought of having a lot of people around you?” he sat down next to her, and she pushed some of her hair from her face so she could look at him.   
  
Once upon a time, holding eye contact with him had been a difficult task. However, now she didn't have a problem with it. _I feel more relaxed when I know I have his attention…?_   
  
“Am I supposed to be scared of people?” she asked.   
  
“Miss Granger, there isn't a set way that one should react after such an attack,” he said. “Do you fear being here?”   
  
She shook her head. “I know that I'm safe here with you,” Hermione's eyes widened slightly, and she averted her eyes to her shaking hands.   
  
An uncomfortable silence settled around them, and Hermione's chest started to feel tight again.   
  
“I bumped into someone on my way down here...I thought it might have b-been him.”   
  
“Him?” Snape drawled.   
  
Hermione stood up straight and turned to look at him. His eyes pierced into hers as she slowly gained control of her breathing again.   
  
She shook her head at him. “N-No.”   
  
“No?”   
  
“No.”   
  
“Miss Granger, I apologise for what I'm about to say,” he said. “But what if he does it again? To someone else? You're the only person who holds the answer right now, and I need you to tell me, so I can help you.”   
  
Tears formed in her eyes, and she slowly backed into the door. _I need to get out of here._ She flung open the door and took off running towards her bedroom. She wasn’t angry because of what he said, she was angry because he was right.   
  
Hermione made it back to her quarters aware that Professor Snape had followed her to see if she returned safely. She slammed the door shut and ran the short distance to her bedroom. Crookshanks waited on her bed for her shaking hands to pet him, and she bundled him against her chest with a whimper.   
  
_I have to tell him._   
_  
But, I’m terrified of what might happen next._


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter 4:   
  
Hermione kept her head down as she raced down the corridor towards Richard. He gave her a funny look, to which she shook her head at him to not ask any questions.   
  
_ To say today has been a massive earache would be an understatement. I've been busy avoiding Professor Snape all day — I never knew of his spectacular ability to be everywhere all at once. _ __   
__   
_ Perhaps I'm being childish. I am. I am. I am. I am. _   
  
She came to a stop at Richard’s side, and he turned away from a second year Gryffindor with a smile. “Are you ready to ask around?”   
  
Hermione nodded her head and shook her shoulders to prepare herself for the long time ahead of her.  _ I can't be afraid of everyone. _   
  
There was the distant thought that she might run into  _ him _ , but her eyes constantly moved around trying to identify any danger.  _ I will be quick to flee if I do see him. _   
  
“Lucy here has suggested a school-wide secret Santa,” Richard explained. “What do you think?”   
  
“There's no way that will work-” Hermione clamped her mouth shut, and flinched away from her harsh words. The young Gryffindor frowned then said “goodbye” to them.   
  
“Are you alright?” Richard asked.   
  
“It's been a long day,” she said. “I didn't mean to upset her…”   
  
“We’ll only ask a few more people, then we can head back and relax.”   
  
“Thank you.”   
  
They moved further down the corridor and called out to the students who passed. Some of them had ridiculous ideas and others gave suggestions that would be hard to implement. As they got closer to the Defence Against The Dark Arts classroom, Professor Sniderfield sashayed through the doors with a huge grin on his face.   
  
“There you are, my golden stars!” he waved them over, and Hermione looked him up-and-down.   
  
_ What's with this change in attitude?  _ In lessons, he seemed serious, but she could practically feel the joy radiating from him—and the gayness.   
  
“I hear you're looking for event ideas,” he said. “I have many to offer you.”   
  
“That would be great, sir,” Richard readied his quill against his notebook.   
  
“A Valentine’s Day ball would be splendid. We could have a school Cupid who people can deliver their love letters to—oh, and a confession booth where people can admit their feelings to one another! I will be in charge of decorations, food, the layout and the outfits.”   
  
Hermione responded with a passive look on her face. She wasn't sure how she felt about this new revelation; his personality seemed very 'in-your-face', and she struggled to not want to run away.   
  
“That's an excellent idea, sir,” Richard finished writing and smiled. “I definitely think Valentine’s Day will be the best event to celebrate. Too many people leave around Christmas time to do anything big.”   
  
“How are you finding your last year?” Hermione’s eyes moved over the courtyard and followed the students who left the benches before night approached.   
  
_ Oh, is he talking to me? _   
  
She turned to look at him and met his vibrant eyes. “I’m...enjoying it, sir,” she sighed and stared down at her feet.   
  
He gave her a funny look that told her he didn’t believe her words. “Oh! I just remembered, Professor Snape has been looking for you all day. It doesn’t set a good example if the Head Girl skips her Potions lesson.”   
  
“You skipped Potions?” Richard gave her a look of disbelief. “Professor Snape’s going to kill you.”   
  
“Do you think I don’t know that?” she snapped back.   
  
Her rudeness took them both by surprise, and Hermione blinked in response.  _ What’s wrong with me? I have such a short-temper today… _ __   
  
“Well, I’ll see you two in our next lesson,” Professor Sniderfield bowed his head then left. Richard walked off without another word, and she sighed as she watched him leave.   
  
“I’m telling you Draco, you should go for it.”   
  
Hermione’s eyes widened, and she frantically looked around to gather what direction the voice came from. At the end of the corridor, she spotted a clan of green laced robes, then dived towards the rose bushes in the courtyard. The large thorns covered her body, but she still curled herself up and protected her ears with her hands.   
  
_ Go away. Go away. Go away. _   
  
Her heart pounded against her rib cage, and she took in some deep breaths and released them hesitantly. A rustling sound filtered through her fingers, and she almost screamed in fright when Penny strutted out from the bush unscathed.   
  
The black feline took notice of her immediately and started to rub her slim body against her head. Hermione lowered her hands and grabbed hold of Penny; she responded with a rough lick, and Hermione relaxed when she realised there were no more voices.   
  
“I didn’t know Professor Snape allowed you to wander about,” she whispered, and Penny gave her a slanted look. “Oh, so he doesn’t know.”   
  
Hermione spent a few more minutes behind the bush until the rain started to trickle down on her. She managed to slip Penny under her grey jumper, then she raced towards her room to warm up. Richard didn’t pay her any attention as she ran past him and into her humble abode.   
  
Penny slithered out from her jumper and landed on her bed. Hermione slipped under the covers and Penny lay down on her chest. Crookshanks didn’t pay them any mind and seemed content to relax in front of the fireplace.   
  
The warmth of her bedroom lulled Hermione into a light sleep until she was rudely awoken by banging on her door.   
  
“Crap!” she hid herself and Penny beneath her quilt, then sent a thousand prayers to Merlin that he would go away.   
__   
_ I know who it is. _   
  
The door opened with a click and the hinges creaked as it swung open slowly. She heard his steady footsteps and cringed when a weight settled on the side of her bed.   
  
“I know you have my cat hiding under there with you.”   
  
Penny broke free from the heavy quilt, and Hermione poked her head out from underneath. Penny walked over to Professor Snape and rubbed herself against his outstretched hand.   
  
She couldn’t deny that there was something odd stirring in her chest at the sight of him on her bed.  __ He seems relaxed . After a few seconds of silence, she sighed and sat up properly. Penny quickly left his side and went off to investigate Crookshanks by the fire.   
  
“I owe you an apology,” he said. “The way I spoke to you last night was uncalled for-”   
  
“You don’t have anything to apologise for, sir,” she pushed some of her hair from her face. “My mind is running around in circles...you spoke the harsh truth to me last night, and I appreciate it.”   
  
His eyes moved over her face then he looked away. “You’ve spent the day avoiding me, so I must’ve offended you. Perhaps we should inform someone else who will be a better caregiver than I.”   
  
“Professor?”   
  
“Yes.”   
  
“I don’t want anyone else,” she sighed. “I’m beyond grateful for everything you’ve done for me. I just don’t know how t-to deal with all of this...I can’t even hold a conversation with people I’m used to talking to.”   
  
“If your mind is running wild, I’d expect nothing less,” he shifted in his spot. “I’ve told you before that there isn’t a certain way for people to react to such an attack. Some people can wake up the next day and carry on with their lives as if it never happened, others can’t do that. I’m not expecting you to feel yourself again tomorrow, so stop fretting over it. I’m here for you when you need to vent out your pent-up emotions. If you need to scream and cry then you can do so with me.”   
  
“I know you’re used to being able to understand everything put before you, but maybe you need some guidance when it comes to this. By no means am I an expert; I’m sure there are better people to help you, but I will do my best to be here for you until you no longer need me.”   
  
Hermione’s eyes fluttered closed for a second and released her held back tears. The only thing she wanted to do was hug him, but she knew that would make him feel uncomfortable. Her heart continued to pound in her chest, and she nodded her head at him.   
  
“Thank you, sir,” she wiped away her tears. “It really means a lot to me.”   
  
“You should get some rest,” he said. “We can go for a walk in the morning if you want?”   
  
“I’d like that very much.”

* * *

  
  
The early morning air nipped at Hermione’s cheeks, and she pulled her cloak around her. Professor Snape walked ahead of her and kept his eyes glued to the cold lake. They never talked much on their walks; she wished to change that, but he always looked tired, so she left him alone.   
  
_ I should tell him. I have to tell him. _ __   
  
Hermione stared at his long black strands of hair and tried to mentally push a message into his mind—even though she had zero skill in the art of doing so. After he left her room last night, she tried to get herself to say  _ his _ name out loud to herself, but the words wouldn’t come from her lips.   
  
_ I’m too scared.  _ She knew how hard he’d worked to get  _ him _ back into Hogwarts, and the idea of shattering all his heroic actions, made her not want to tell him.  _ He even set him up in housing since both of his parents are in Azkaban. _ __   
  
_ Just say it...do it now.  _ Hermione opened her mouth to say it, but only her misty breath came out. She clenched her hands into fists and let out a frustrated squeak. Professor Snape turned around at the noise and quirked a brow.   
  
“What is it?”   
  
Hermione’s eyes widened a little. “W-What did you expect your life to be like after the war?”   
  
_ Well isn’t that a stupid question! _ __   
  
She caught up with him as he carried on walking, and he stared far off into the distance. “I didn’t expect to live.”   
  
She’d never spoken to him about the night she saved his life. She knew his answer was a lie, because the only reason why she’d managed to save him was due to him having the correct potions in his pocket.  _ He went to see Voldemort prepared for such an attack, but he didn’t have the strength to administer his life-saving concoctions, so I did. _ __   
  
“Are you happy that you did?” she asked.   
  
“I’m not sure yet.”   
  
“Well, I’m glad you did.”   
  
He hummed back in response, and they made their way back inside. Hermione shook off her cloak and returned to walking behind him.  __ Have I upset him?  She started to stare at the back of his head again, wishing that her mouth would release the words she wanted.   
  
She became entranced by his left hand as it dangled by his side. When they neared her quarters she quickly made a grab for his hand, and he whirled around to stare down at her. Hermione inhaled sharply and tightened her grip on his fingers.   
  
“Erm…” her chest felt tight and her heart was close to jumping out her mouth. “I…”   
  
“Granger?”   
  
“I’m sorry, sir,” she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “M-Malfoy did it.”


	5. Chapter Five

_ ~ Chapter 5 ~ _   
  
A hot pain surged up her arm from his tight grip. She thought for a second that he hadn't heard her, but his nostrils started to flare, so she knew he'd taken in her words.   
  
He burnt a hole in her face like he was expecting her to disappear.  _ I shouldn't have said anything.  _ __   
  
“P-Professor?”   
  
Tears stung her eyes and she bit down on her bottom lip. _ Say something. _   
  
His gaze dropped to their joined hands and he pulled away like she'd burnt him. Snape took a large step back, and Hermione felt worry build up inside her.  _ Does he not believe me? _   
  
“Stay here.”   
  
_ What?  _ He put his back to her and slowly walked away in a daze.    
  
“Where are you going?” Hermione followed behind him, and he turned to look back at her.    
  
“Stay,” he said.    
  
There was no emotion in his voice and her heart leapt in her chest. He carried on walking and she watched him disappear around the corner. Her breath came out in small gasps as she tried to get her thoughts to clear in her mind.   
  
“Professor!” Hermione took off running and rounded the corner, only to find he was no longer there. “S-Sir!” her bottom lip quivered, and her sob hiccuped in the back of her throat.    
  
Hermione leant against the cold wall and tried to steady her breathing.  _ I don't want him to do anything that will get him into trouble. _ A voice in her mind doubted her worthiness of his defence.  _ Why would he waste his time defending me?  _   
  
She stayed there for a few minutes until she gathered her thoughts, and her eyes were dry.  _ Perhaps he returned to his quarters? Should I try and find him? _   
  
Hermione kept her body close to the wall and took small strides towards the dungeons. The shadows soon engulfed her, then she heard the distant sound of something crashing against a hard surface.   
  
With a staggering breath, Hermione walked deeper into the coldness, and she almost screamed in fright when a slender body hugged her feet. She glanced down and saw Penny's black eyes glistening in the firelight as she purred up at her.   
  
“Hi,” she whispered. “What are you-”   
  
Another loud crash cut her off, and Penny took off running. Hermione chased behind her and more sounds of destruction got louder as she approached. They came to a stop outside the potions room.   
  
“Oh…” tears stung her eyes and she placed a shaking hand on the handle.    
  
_ Should I go in? _   
  
A loud cry followed a bang, and Hermione shook her head.  _ He won't be happy if I interfere with his emotional side… _ __   
  
Penny bumped her head against the door, and Hermione sniffled and wiped the tears from her cheeks.   
__   
_ I shouldn't go inside. _   
  
“I'm telling you Draco, I can hear something,” Hermione's eyes widened and she flung open the door then slammed it shut. She managed to dodge a flying chair which soon shattered against the wall. It didn't take her long to spot the heaving body standing in the centre of the room.   
  
He whirled around with a venomous look on his face. Anger rocked through his body, causing his left eye to twitch as his burning gaze consumed her skin.   
  
Hermione watched him raise his hand and a nearby chair started to hover above the floor. It flew across the room and splintered into pieces. She rushed over and hesitated for a moment, then charged into his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist.   
  
“P-Please be quiet,” she whispered, and he stiffened under her touch. “He's near.”   
  
His body twitched and tremored; she wasn't sure if it was because of her presence around his body or the bombshell she had just dropped on him.    
  
“I shouldn't have said anything,” she said. “I'm sorry.”   
  
He released a staggering breath. “No, I'm sorry.”   
  
Hermione felt him relax and his breathing started to steady. “I...should've been more careful-”   
  
“Shut up.”   
  
She glanced up at him to see his head lowered and his eyes closed. The pain and anger was evident on his face, and she felt a stab of guilt in her chest. _ This is all my fault. _   
  
“I'm telling you, it's coming from the potions room,” the muffled voice of Malfoy's friend caused them to pull away and stare at the door.   
  
Professor Snape practically flew towards the door, thankfully, Hermione was quick to react. She managed to wedge herself firmly between the hard surface and Snape. Her trembling hand clawed into his own—he held on tight to the handle.   
  
She levelled his menacing glare and she shook her head at him. _ I don't want him to get himself into trouble. It’s because of me...is it all my fault? _ __   
  
Hermione didn't know how to communicate her wish for him not to open the door. There was no use in talking to him because they would hear them through the door. _ I don't think I could bear such a confrontation. _ __   
  
A fresh batch of tears formed in her eyes and they silently fell over cheeks. The sight of her crying struck his steeled expression, and he eventually relaxed and rested his forehead against the door.   
  
_ We're very close… _ __   
  
Her chest rose rapidly for air and she unintentionally inhaled his scent.  __ He smells like a potioneer...obviously.  She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down, and the sound of the pair walking away made Snape step back. He reached up to rub his temple, and she offered him an awkward smile.   
  
“Do you want me to leave?” she asked with her head hanging low.    
  
“I will walk you back to your room,” his baritone response only added to the awkwardness.    
  
The handle started to turn causing Hermione to stumble away when it opened. She turned in time to see Professor McGonagall standing there in her evening clothes. Her spectacles sat at the end of her nose, and her hair rested in a neat bun on the top of her head.   
  
Her eyes scanned them both carefully, and Hermione swallowed the lump in the back of her throat.   
  
“My office, now.”

* * *

  
  
_I don’t think this day could get any worse, and lessons haven’t even started yet!_  
  
Hermione sat down in the chair opposite the Headmistress’ desk and continued to pet Penny. She had scooped up the black cat as McGonagall marched them both through the dark halls towards her office.   
  
_What do I say?_ _There isn’t a good enough reason for me being in my Professor’s company this early in the morning...Sweet Merlin, what if she thinks we are together—there’s no way she can think that!_ Hermione glanced Snape’s way with a worried look, but he was too busy stirring the spoon in his cup of tea.  
  
McGonagall walked around her desk and sat down. She cast a sharp look at Dumbledore’s portrait, then linked her fingers together to rest them on the wooden surface. Hermione nervously glanced around the room and stroked Penny some more.  
  
“Who does that cat belong to?” McGonagall asked with mild interest.  
  
“She’s mine,” Snape said.   
  
She responded with a cold look. _McGonagall isn’t happy with him...bloody hell, this is all my fault!_ _  
_  
“Why don’t you just ask us what happened?” Snape snapped.  
  
“I’m waiting for Professor Sniderfield to get here.”  
  
“W-Why?” Hermione stumbled over her words.   
  
“He’s an Auror. I allowed him into the school to keep a close eye on Mister Malfoy throughout his last year; it’s only to make sure that he doesn’t get into any more trouble,” she explained, and Hermione saw Snape flinch at the mention of his name.  
  
 _Bloody hell._ Sickness turned in her gut, and Penny seemed to sense her oncoming distress and licked her hand as a sign of comfort. Snape’s eyes met hers and she tried to signal her panic to him—her tear-glazed eyes were an obvious sign of her wanting to leave.  
  
“Why does he need to be here?” Snape spoke through gritted teeth and turned away from her.  
  
“He’s an Auror, and I’d like his presence during our talk, just in case.”  
  
“In case of what?”  
  
“I think you know.”  
  
A deathly silence settled, and Snape put down his cup of tea. “Minerva, are you seriously insinuating what I think you are?”  
  
“You tell me.”  
  
Hermione's eyes widened and she frantically shook her head at Professor McGonagall. “No!” she yelled. “You’ve got it all wrong!”  
  
Snape got to his feet and leaned over the desk in an attempt to intimidate her. “Are you suggesting that I’ve engaged in inappropriate relations with a student?”  
  
“Do you have a better explanation?”  
  
He let out a deep growl and whirled away from her. Hermione watched him pace back-and-forth, chewing on the side of his thumb. She wished to reach up and stop him from hurting himself, but she found herself unable to move.  
  
 _I need to think of a better excuse...or maybe I should tell the truth._  
  
The thought made her tears fall and she sank back into the chair. _I have to tell the truth, otherwise, Professor Snape will get into trouble. I need him to know how grateful I am for everything he has done to help me so far...I don’t want him to stop helping me._ _  
_  
“Hermione, my dear, you can tell me anything—you will not be held accountable for anything that has happened between you two-”  
  
“Minerva!”  
  
Hermione couldn’t contain her anger anymore. She wiped her tears from her face and nudged Penny off her lap. “Do you think so lowly of him after everything?”  
  
Professor Snape stopped pacing and she felt his eyes on her. McGonagall perked up at her response with an offended look on her face.  
  
“Hermione-”  
  
“He’s helping me deal with something personal. I went to him because he was the only person I felt like I could turn to. He’s doing what he should be doing as my professor, helping me through such a difficult time by giving me advice and guidance, like a teacher should do. I find it appalling that you would accuse him of something like that, and it makes it worse that you assume I had no control over the situation. Do you truly believe me incapable of thinking for myself—even if there happened to be something going on between Professor Snape and me, I assure you that there would be consent from both parties, meaning we would both be held accountable for our actions!”  
  
OK, she hadn’t meant to say the last bit. Her cheeks flushed a flaming red, and she averted her gaze from the Headmistress.  
  
“You couldn’t come to me about this personal problem?” McGonagall’s tone of voice softened.   
  
Again, she felt Snape’s eyes on her. _I don’t think I can cope with looking at him right now._  
  
“No.”  
  
A knock cut off McGonagall’s response, and they all turned to see Professor Sniderfield walking through the door with a tired yawn. “How can I help?”  
  
 _If Sniderfield is an Auror perhaps I should tell him. But what if it gets out to everyone that Malfoy was arrested for...the rape of Hermione Granger._ _  
_  
“It appears that I no longer need you, Professor Sniderfield. I apologise-”  
  
Hermione got to her shaking knees and bit her bottom lip. _I have to tell them...I’m only prolonging my pain, plus, I can’t even imagine what Professor Snape plans on doing to Malfoy the moment he leaves this office._ _  
_  
“Hermione?” McGonagall stood up and walked around her desk.  
  
“You’re an Auror, Professor Sniderfield?”  
  
“I am,” he said. “Is there a problem?”  
  
“I…” Hermione's breathing hitched in the back of her throat, and she felt a trembling panic attack hovering above her head. __I’m scared. Terrified. She sniffled and finally glanced at Professor Snape, who was watching her closely. Her body started to twitch and she noticed the slight shuffle he made towards her.  
  
“There’s something I must tell you, sir,” she turned her attention back to Sniderfield.   
  
“OK.”  
  
Her chest moved rapidly for air and she clamped her eyes shut for a few seconds. They flew open when she felt Snape’s presence at her side. A brief brush of his hand on hers filled her body with the confidence she needed to tell Sniderfield what had happened.   
  
“You’re in charge of watching over Malfoy?”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
She cast a quick look at Professor Snape, who nodded back in response and her body started to calm down. “He raped me.”


	6. Chapter Six

__ ~Chapter 6~   
  
Hermione's eyes started to fill with black dots and she soon realised she wasn't breathing.   
  
“Granger—for Merlin's sake breathe!” she registered Snape moving her back towards a chair, and she fell down with a thud.    
  
The stricken look on his face caused her to gasp for oxygen, and she buried her face in her hands while her chest heaved for its life source.   
  
Snape didn't say anything else to her, but she could feel his eyes all over, checking to see if she was OK. Hermione lifted her head from her hands and locked eyes with him.   
  
“Hermione…” McGonagall moved towards her with her arms outstretched. _ She's going to hug me. _ Hermione flinched away and Snape shook his hand in McGonagall’s direction.   
  
“Don't.”   
  
Hermione flashed him a grateful smile then tried to focus on breathing properly. She heard Professor Sniderfield approach them but she kept her attention on Snape.   
  
“He raped you?” Sniderfield kept his distance, and she could hear the caution in his voice.   
  
_ I can't be angry that he might doubt me; a serious claim like that should require one question of assurance. _ __   
  
She began to fiddle with her fingers, then nodded her head. “It happened after the Halloween Ball...after the attack, I went to Professor Snape and he helped...clean me up.”   
  
He didn't move from his position on his knees and she hated the passive look on his face.  _ Will he stop helping me after this? I need his counsel...more than anything. _ __   
  
“Is that true?” Sniderfield directed his question at Snape, who got to his feet and stepped away from her.   
  
“I'm afraid so.”   
  
“I will be back shortly with some Aurors. We will detain him immediately then I'll need to take memories from you both as evidence-”   
  
“Wait!” Hermione wailed with panic in her eyes. “I-I...can you keep this away from the public eye. I really don't want people to know what happened.”   
  
Professor Sniderfield gave her a look of sympathy, and she flinched away from it. _ I don't want him to feel sorry for me...does Snape feel that way too?  _ Hermione glanced up at him to see his face as hard as stone. _ I guess not.  _   
  
“Of course. I'll conduct this investigation on your terms, Miss Granger. I have two Aurors under my tutelage, and they'll handle this case with the utmost discretion.”   
  
“Thank you,” she bit her lip and relaxed into the chair.   
  
“Hermione, my dear, why didn't you come to me first? We could've dealt with it immediately,” McGonagall said.   
  
Snape turned at the sound of her voice and Hermione spotted the mild curiosity on his face.  _ Does he want to know why I went to him instead of anyone else?  _ __   
  
“I…” she didn't feel comfortable admitting the truth behind the matter. _ I don't want to hurt her feelings, nor offend Professor Snape.  _ __   
  
She couldn't tell him that she went to him because of his abrasive manner and his passiveness—or that he's never seemed like the openly comforting type.    
  
_ He's shown me comfort in so many different ways, but it's never been out of his normal character. _ She thought back to the way he let her hold him back in the potions room.  _ That's out of character for him.  _ __   
  
There was a cruel voice in her mind that suggested she say that he owed her one.  _ I could never throw that in his face.  _ But, the snickering whisper wouldn't go away.   
  
“I knew that Professor Snape wouldn't look at me with sympathy in his eyes,” she said. “He wouldn't coddle me and sugarcoat all of the answers to my questions...it's not in his nature to do that, so I ended up at his door instead of yours.”   
  
Professor Snape looked away from her, and she spotted the mild hurt on his face, but he soon masked it with his usual stone-faced expression.   
  
“Very well,” McGonagall said. “You do not need to attend lessons today, and things will be dealt with tomorrow. Is that OK with everyone?”   
  
Hermione nodded her head along with the others. Professor Sniderfield left the office and she eyed Penny, who circled Snape's feet.    
  
“Can I take Penny for a while?” she asked.   
  
“I expect her to be brought back when we meet later on,” he muttered.   
  
“Thank you, sir.”   
  
Hermione walked over to him and picked Penny up. She flashed him a smile, but before she could leave, McGonagall spoke.   
  
“I don't think it’s wise for you to continue giving Miss Granger counsel. Poppy will be able to arrange for a professional to help her.”   
  
She held in a breath, expecting Snape to hand her over to McGonagall without another bat of his black lashes.  _ Please don't do it _ . Hermione couldn't think of anything worse than knowing she was a burden to him.    
  
Penny nuzzled her cheek and purred by her ear. He didn't bother to look her way, and it caused a vice-like grip to latch around her heart. _ I cannot do this without him—I just can't! _   
  
“You seem to have got confused about something, Headmistress. Miss Granger is visiting me later to carry on with her master level studies.”   
  
_ Oh...oh, sweet Merlin, thank you!  _ Hermione wished to hug him but knew it would make him uncomfortable while throwing McGonagall over the edge.   
  
“I assumed that was your cover story.”   
  
Hermione waited for Snape to respond, but he seemed to draw a blank. “I asked Professor Snape about a week before the incident if he would teach me.”   
  
“Oh,” McGonagall nodded. “If you ever need a more, mothering touch, you know where to find me.”   
  
She managed to contain her rude retort and settled for turning away and leaving the Headmistress’ office.    
  
Professor Snape walked her back to her quarters, and they parted ways with muttered goodbyes. Hermione watched him leave until he disappeared around the corner, then ran into her bedroom.   
  
“Hello, Crookshanks, I brought somebody for you to play with,” she put Penny down on her bed next to Crookshanks, and they began to inspect one another.    
  
_ I suppose this is it now. _   
  
She didn't know how to feel about the truth coming out. _ I hope Sniderfield can keep it away from the public eye.  _ There were many thoughts rushing through her mind, but she knew not to focus on them, otherwise, she'll end up worsening her mood.   
  
Her room was rather cold, so she lit the fire and grabbed the throw from the end of her bed. A small twitch caused her body to spasm, and she held out her hands to see if the shaking had eased.  _ No such luck. _   
  
There's no way she felt ready to go it alone without Professor Snape. She knew that being dependent on him wasn't good for either of them, but she couldn't help it.  _ He knows exactly what to say to calm me down.  _ __   
  
_ Am I being too much of a burden to him? Does he feel like he owes me? _ Hermione shook her head and grabbed the furry ball attached to a piece of string from her bedside table.   
  
She waved it above the two cats, and they started to wrestle one another to tap the soft ball. She laughed at the way they toppled over each other, then settled for scratching them both behind the ears.   
  
Somebody knocked on her door.   
  
“Come in,” panic rose inside of her, and it didn't disappear until Richard stepped into the room. Anxiety still rested on her shoulders, but it was easier to deal with thanks to the two pets on her bed.   
  
“Hi,” he said. “I just wanted to see how you are...you've been acting odd recently.”   
  
“I'm fine,” she whispered.   
  
“OK...where's the black cat from?”   
  
“She belongs to Professor Snape.”   
  
“He has a cat?” he laughed, and she frowned.   
  
“Why’s that funny?”   
  
“Nothing!” he chuckled. “It’s just, one, why do you have her, and two, he has a cat?!”   
  
Hermione knew that he wasn't a bad person. But, anger simmered beneath her skin, and her narrowed eyes brought his laughter to a stop.   
  
“Sorry...I didn't mean too...sorry,” he rubbed the back of his neck.   
  
“He allows me to play with her now-and-then,” she explained. “It’s not a big deal.”   
  
“She's cute.”   
  
“I know,” Hermione rubbed her stomach, and Richard shuffled on the spot.   
  
“I spoke to Professor McGonagall yesterday, and she gave us the go-ahead for a Valentine's Day festival.”   
  
“That sounds exciting. We’ll have a lot to prepare for.”   
  
“Closer to Christmas we can ask around for ideas,” he said.   
  
“Sounds like a great plan.”   
  
“I'm glad you're OK,” he nodded his head then left.   
  
She stared at the empty spot by the door and worried her bottom lip with her teeth.  _ I'm pushing people away...I haven't spoken to Ginny and Luna for a while, perhaps I should go and find them.  _ Hermione shook her head and focused on the two animals in front of her.   
  
Later that evening, Hermione bundled Penny against her chest and walked into the potions room. The interior had returned to its original state, and one could hardly tell of the destruction Professor Snape brought upon it.    
  
He sat behind his desk, scribbling away on a piece of parchment. She took a seat before him, and he finished off his red ink abuse and regarded her with worried eyes.   
  
Penny jumped onto the desk and settled down at the edge closest to Snape. Hermione smiled briefly then focused on him.   
  
“Have you noticed her uniqueness?” she said.   
  
“I'm not sure I understand what you mean?”   
  
“She responds as if she can understand what I'm saying, and she notices when I'm sad and seeks to comfort me.”   
  
“Some animals are intelligent in that way,” he replied.   
  
“Maybe she's your familiar?”   
  
“They're a myth.”   
  
“You never know.”   
  
“Stop trying to avoid the matter at hand,” he spoke firmly, and she sank back into the chair. “I spoke to Professor Sniderfield, and he will be bringing the Aurors training under his guidance tomorrow morning, then Malfoy will be called into the Headmistress’ office and apprehended while everyone is in their lessons. Would you like to be there?”   
  
“I...I…” she shrugged her shoulders. “I'm unsure. Will you be there?”   
  
“Yes, I do not have to teach first thing in the morning.”   
  
“I'll go then,” she didn't want to be in a room with him without somebody around to make her feel comfortable.   
  
“I also have more troubling news,” he said. “I'm going to ask you not to take anymore Dreamless Sleep for a few days.”   
  
“O-Oh,” she started to fiddle with her fingers. “If you say so.”   
  
“Miss Granger, I have faith in you, and I will be around if the nightmares get too much.”   
  
“You will?”   
  
“I don't care if it's late into the night. If you feel unsafe for whatever reason, knock on my door and I'll allow you to rest on my sofa.”   
  
He seemed shocked by his own admission and she gave him a grateful look. “I appreciate everything you've done for me...but, I don't wish to be a burden-”   
  
“Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't wish to help you.”   
  
She smiled. “Thank you, for everything, sir.”   
  
“There's no need to thank me. I'm doing what anyone else would do.”   
  
If that wasn't a cold, hard slap in the face then Hermione didn't know what was. She masked her hurt and nodded her head.  __ Why am I upset? He's doing everything I've asked of him. There's no need to feel hurt by his comment.

* * *

_  
_Hermione shot up in her damp bed, causing Crookshanks to screech in fright and jump down onto the floor. Her chest heaved for oxygen and sweat masked her body.  
  
 _Nightmare...a really bad nightmare._  
  
Her worn eyes blurred until she rubbed her vision clear with the heels of her hands. She tossed back her quilt and took in a few deep breaths.  
  
 _It's just a dream. Nothing more, nothing less._  
  
She hadn't expected it to be so bad, and she wanted nothing more than to race down to Professor Snape for comfort. _It's almost time for breakfast anyway._  
  
Hurt still lingered in her heart, and she couldn't work out why his words had affected her badly. _My mind's not in the right place at the moment._  
  
Hermione took a quick shower and got herself ready for the strenuous day ahead of her. _Today is the day Malfoy will be caught...they'll take him away, and that will be it. I think._   
  
Once she prepared herself to head out of her room, a fake smile grew on her face. It scared her how easily she could put it on and have no one figure out that something was wrong with the know-it-all.   
  
It wasn't until she arrived near the Great Hall that the smile flew from her face. A shrill crowd formed around something, loud cheers and swoons followed, and Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion. __What's going on?  
  
“Hermione!” she recognised that voice and the one that followed.  
  
“There you are, ‘Mione!”  
  
She felt like someone had poured cold water over her body. Chills shot up her spine as they pushed through the crowd and headed towards her.   
  
Hermione shook her head at them and started to walk backwards. She didn't have time to process her next move until she'd run away. Her feet seemed to have a destination in mind, and she found herself immersed in the coldness of the dungeons.  
  
Her fleeting self slammed into a slender frame, and she almost took him to the ground, but he managed to grab her and the wall before it could happen.  
  
The familiar smell immediately put her at ease, and she latched onto his waist for the comfort he always brought her. His hands came to her elbows.  
  
“Bloody hell...Granger, what's wrong?” he sounded winded.   
  
“H-Harry and Ron are here,” she sobbed into his chest, and her body trembled against his own. “Why? Why are they here? I can't face them, not today!”  
  
His grip tightened on her elbows, and he tried to get her to let him go, but she shook her head.  
  
“Take a deep breath,” he talked her through a standard calm down routine, and she soon relaxed against him and took a step back. His hands stayed at her elbows. “Potter and Weasley?”   
  
“Yes,” she sniffled. “Are they the ones studying under Professor Sniderfield?”  
  
“I'm guessing so.”  
  
“Hermione?” they both glanced at the end of the corridor to see a mortified Harry and Ron, staring at their close proximity with looks of venom on their faces.  
  



	7. Chapter Seven

_ ~ Chapter 7 ~ _

 

The looks on their faces angered Hermione. What right did they have to stare at Snape in such a way? Those eyes were judging him for being close to her, and she spotted the moment their boyish tempers flared. 

 

She took a step back from him and opened her mouth to scold them, but Snape got there first.

 

“How nice of you to grace us with your presence, Potter,” his professional persona slipped back on, leaving Hermione to stand by his side, helplessly.

 

“W-What…?” Harry trailed off and looked at Ron who swallowed in response.

 

“Problem?” Snape challenged, and Hermione bit her bottom lip to stop herself from smirking.

 

There was something satisfying about seeing two war heroes reduced to gaping fish, while trying to think of a way to respond to their ex-professor. 

 

“I see your time spent in the adult world has improved your ability to speak full sentences,” he drawled. 

 

“Why are you here?” Hermione asked.

 

“Sniderfield invited us,” Harry managed to say. “He said that we are needed here, by you.”

 

Hermione recoiled away from his words. Sniderfield? What right did he have to invite them here, causing her stress and anxiety.  _ I don't want to tell them; he thinks I should tell them, that's why he invited them.  _

 

A part of her wanted to run up and hug them both, but her bitter side still held a grudge towards their lack of contact. She was sick of always being the one trying to keep their friendship alive, and receive no effort on their end.  _ I feel like I've formed a stronger bond with Professor Snape in a matter of weeks, than I ever did over the many years with them. I'm not sure he would see it that way, but I'm grateful for everything he's doing for me.  _

 

“I'm not sure why he would tell you that?” for some reason she felt uncomfortable keeping eye contact with them. “I assumed from your lack of response to my letters that you no longer cared about my well-being.”

 

“Hermione that's not what—”

 

“If you don't mind, Miss Granger and I have somewhere else to be,” Snape said, and he motioned for her to follow him. 

 

Hermione kept her head down as they passed the silent pair, and she heard Ron say her name, but she kept her eyes on Snape's shoes.  _ Perhaps I'll talk to them later...they might have an explanation. _

 

_ But, right now, I have bigger things to worry about.  _

 

People started to move from the Great Hall, paying no attention to them as they passed through the crowd. Anxiety found its usual spot on her shoulders, and she fiddled with her fingers and gnawed on her bottom lip. He could be anywhere right now, thinking he's safe, but in reality his life is about to come to an end.

 

She should feel happy. She should be smiling. Yet, no emotion showed on her face, and all she could focus on was her pounding heart.  _ I don't think his arrest will make any difference; I still have to live with the memory. _

 

They eventually arrived at the Headmistress’ office, and Snape muttered the password and they made their way up. He held open the door for her and she stepped into the warm room. Sniderfield stood in front of two younger men who listened to his words carefully, while McGonagall sat behind her desk with a worried look on her face.

 

“How are you feeling this morning?” McGonagall asked.

 

“Better,” Hermione lied, and Snape gave her a knowing look. 

 

“Take a seat,” he said, and she moved over to the chair facing away from McGonagall’s desk. 

 

“I wish Penny was here,” she whispered to him. “Or Crookshanks.”

 

“Give me a moment,” Hermione watched him disappear into the fireplace, and a few seconds later, he returned with Penny in his arms. 

 

His gesture brought tears to her eyes, and she finally realised that this situation was terribly overwhelming. Penny jumped into her lap and nuzzled her face against Hermione’s chest.  _ I feel better now. _

 

“Are you ready?” Sniderfield asked, and she opened her mouth to reply but Snape cut her off.

 

“Can I talk to you first?” his eyes didn't give anything away, and she watched them walk over to the fireplace to exchange heated words. 

 

Anger soon flooded the lines of his face and his baritone voice vibrated his chest. She caught brief snippets of their conversation, and knew immediately that he was scolding Sniderfield for inviting Harry and Ron. 

 

_ I wish I could hug him and have him return the gesture. _

 

**_“Rest easy, my dear.”_ **

 

Hermione's eyes widened and she glanced down at the cat in her lap. Penny's lids covered her black eyes for a second then she tilted her head innocently.

 

“W-What…?” Hermione looked over at McGonagall to see her head was down, so it couldn't have been her. She glanced around the room then focused on Penny. “Did you...what?”

 

Nothing.

 

She scanned the paintings to seek out the female voice, but none of them seemed interested in her being there.  _ Am I going crazy? _

 

A knock. Everyone froze. Sniderfield nodded at his two understudies and Snape walked over to stand in front of her chair. McGonagall straightened out her robes and stood in front of the desk.

 

Nods were exchanged then the Headmistress spoke. “Come in.”

 

The door slowly opened and a familiar blond head stepped into the room, oblivious to what he was walking in to. Hermione leaned over the arm of the chair so she could see around Snape's blocking frame. 

 

_ There he is. _

 

Malfoy scanned the room. She spotted the moment it dawned on him. Sweat started to form along his brow and he shifted on the spot.  _ What if he tries to run off? _

 

“A troubling matter has been brought to our attention,” McGonagall said. “A very troubling one indeed. I'd ask you to take a seat but I don't believe Miss Granger wants you anywhere near her.”

 

McGonagall approached Malfoy, and as she got closer, Snape moved his hands behind his back and she watched them curl into fists. Knowing that no one could see her, she reached out her shaking hand and grasped his own to ease his tense body.

 

She hadn't expected much, however, his shoulders relaxed soon after. 

 

“I'm not sure I know what you mean?”

 

“You little shit—” McGonagall whirled around and silenced Snape with a glare. 

 

“Letting our tempers get the best of us will not help the situation,” she said. “Mr Malfoy, what happened on the night of the Halloween Ball?”

 

Hermione released Snape's hands and they returned to his sides. She wished he'd move so she could see his face, but a part of her was grateful that he blocked her from Malfoy's view. 

 

“I attended—just like everyone else.”

 

“And where did you go afterwards?” Sniderfield asked.

 

“I returned to my room,” he said. “Just like everyone else.”

 

“Hm,” Sniderfield looked him over. “Are you sure?”

 

“Positive, sir.”

 

There was another knock at the door and they all glanced in the direction of the noise. 

 

_ No...no please don't be them.  _

 

Hermione felt the springs jump in her legs and she bounced to her feet, and backed further into the office.  _ Please not them. _

 

Snape turned to watch her retreat and she shook her head at him. Penny stayed nearby and seemed to be guiding her to a safe spot to hide. 

 

“Who is it?” McGonagall called out.

 

“Harry and Ron, Headmistress.”

 

“Would you mind returning later?”

 

“We need to speak to Auror Sniderfield.”

 

Snape swiftly moved over to her backing form and she stared up at him with watering eyes. “They c-can’t know...nothing will be the same again.”

 

“Granger, as much as it pains me to say, I think you need to tell them so you can move on,” he explained. “It will constantly be hovering over your head if you don't do it.”

 

Her bottom lip quivered and a few tears fell from her eyes. “I'm scared, sir.”

 

An odd expression flashed over his tight face and Hermione averted her shiny eyes to the floor. Snape sighed and scratched his chin.

 

“What do you usually do when you're scared?” he asked. 

 

She paused to think. “I'm always with people who I'm comfortable with. They hold my hand, hug me or stay close so I know that I'm not alone.”

 

“Very well.”

 

Hermione's head flew upwards and she watched him walk over to the seat she'd occupied, then he grabbed another and placed it arm-to-arm with it. He waved her over with his hand.

 

“Come and sit down,” he said. “I'll be here and they'll stay far over there...with that thing,” he glared at Malfoy, and Hermione moved over to sit by his side. Penny climbed into her lap, and she completely forgot about the voice she'd heard before.

 

“Shall I?” McGonagall raised a brow and they both nodded. “Come in boys!”

 

The doors opened and Hermione held her breath as she watched them enter. Their eyes moved over the occupants of the room, trying to work out what could possibly be going on. Harry didn't seem too thrilled at the sight of Malfoy, and when he spotted Hermione's tear stained cheeks, his scrutiny returned to Malfoy.

 

“Breathe steady,” Snape whispered near her ear. “Tap my arm three times if you want to leave immediately.”

 

“Thank you, sir,” more tears fell from her eyes and she felt too embarrassed to look at him. 

 

_ Why is he so nice to me?  _

 

“Mr Malfoy,” Sniderfield stepped up behind him. “Where did you go between the end of the ball and your return to your room?”

 

“I left with some friends and went straight back to the common room,” he refused to make eye contact with the people staring at him. Hermione bundled Penny against her chest and kissed her head. She wished to hold Crookshanks, but he rarely allowed her to do so for long periods of time. He preferred to lounge by her side. 

 

“Malfoy,” McGonagall spoke with an edge to her voice. “If you don't give me the answer I desire, Professor Snape will be inside your head before you can turn away.”

 

Hermione saw the slight smirk on Snape’s lips, but she couldn't think of anything worse.  _ He'll see the attack...I-I don't think I could be in the same room as him if he witnessed it...ever again. _

 

“What's going on?” Harry asked. “Why did you tell us to come here?” he glanced at Sniderfield who inclined his head in her direction. “Hermione?”

 

“Miss Granger doesn't wish to speak right now,” Snape said. “So keep your mouth shut, Potter, and let this play out.”

 

“I'm a grown adult now, you can't tell me what to do—Hermione can speak for herself.”

 

Hermione didn't wish to utter any words to him. She wasn't sure how Professor Snape knew, but she was happy that he'd tried to get Harry to be quiet. 

 

Malfoy shifted again and Hermione finally looked at him, properly. Fear didn't cause her heart to race, instead, pure anger pulsed throughout her body as she watched him sneer at them all. 

 

“Tell me the truth, Mr Malfoy,” McGonagall pushed again.

 

“I don't know what you expect me to say.”

 

Her anger reached the surface and she got to her feet in an attempt to simmer her emotions down. Snape joined her and he started to pace nearby. 

 

“Why am I being scrutinised? I've told you that nothing happened, so why is my Godfather and the know-it-all giving me such venomous looks?”

 

_ Know-it-all… _

 

Hermione turned slowly to cast her watery eyes on him. Her body trembled in anger and she took a few steps forward, then shot off towards the blond git. Arms wrapped around her waist and she clawed at Snape's pale hands.

 

“Tell them what you did to me—TELL THEM THAT YOU RAPED ME!” her body shuddered beneath her scream. A sob escaped her lips and she felt herself being pulled further away from Malfoy by Snape's arms around her waist.

 

“You…” Hermione turned in time to see Harry barging into Malfoy; he managed to get a few hits in before Sniderfield pulled him off. Ron stood nearby gaping at her. 

 

“Deep breaths,” Snape's baritone voice cleared the fog in her mind, and he turned her away from everyone and kept her close. His arms fell from her waist and she turned so she was level with his chest. 

 

Her whimpers didn't ease, but she tried to gain control of her burning lungs. 

 

“I'm p-pathetic…”

 

“Hermione, you're far from pathetic,” he whispered. “Brave is the first word that comes to my mind when I think of you.”

 

Hermione's hands stilled on her cheeks and she sniffed as she looked at him.  _ My name...he said my name. _ No one else heard, but that made the moment so much better. 

 

“Brave?” she whimpered, and he nodded his head. “Oh.”

 

“Harry, stop trying to break free!” Sniderfield snapped, and Hermione saw Harry thrashing in his hold while Ron continued to gape at everyone.

 

The two Aurors pulled Malfoy from the floor and he didn't bother to fight back. His eyes landed on Hermione and a wicked smile curled his lips. A shiver raced up her spine and she stepped closer to Snape unintentionally. 

 

“Don't look at her like that!” Snape charged forward and stepped toe-to-toe with him. Hermione swallowed hard and tried to listen to what he whispered to him. Malfoy looked up at him with empty eyes, but the rumble of Snape's voice caused goosebumps to flood her skin. 

 

_ Sometimes I forget how scary he can be. I'm not afraid of him, it's just very different to what I've become accustomed to seeing. _

 

“I'm afraid you'll be coming away with us, Mr Malfoy,” Sniderfield said. 

 

“Away?” 

 

Snape chuckled deeply. “You'll be having a nice reunion with daddy dearest soon enough.”

 

The twisted look returned to Malfoy’s face. “I'm getting taken away, for what? Fucking the Golden Girl!”

 

Silence.

 

The air left Hermione's lungs and she didn't know whether to attack him or cry. Even the portraits were quiet. She walked closer to them all, never taking her eyes off him. Her steps were cautious yet the light taps were enough to grasp everyone's attention. 

 

“Your use of the word ‘fucking’ would imply that it was consensual. But, if I recall correctly you didn't even give me the chance to say no; you robbed me of the opportunity to even give you consent—which would've been no—therefore, you didn't  _ fuck _ me, you  _ raped _ me.”

 

“And I know you enjoyed every second of it—”

 

Three people flew towards him. McGonagall’s screams of protest didn't stop them, and all Hermione could do was stare in shock. Snape got there first, but he wasn't the first to act. Anyone would think the attack was coordinated to the finest degree.

 

Harry fired the first sting into his side and Ron charged forward with another hitting Malfoy's back. Then, with as much grace as a swan, Snape flicked his wrist sharply, sending Malfoy barrelling backward into the door with his feet off the floor.

 

He stalked closer, ignoring McGonagall's shouts for him to stop. Malfoy started to turn a funny colour as he spluttered for oxygen. Professor Snape didn't stop. His fingers curled more and the veins of his throat swelled up.

 

“Severus stop!” McGonagall waved her hands about.

 

“Snape!” Sniderfield snapped. “Let him go.”

 

Hermione closed the distance between them and wrapped her fingers around his wrist. The trance he was in broke and Malfoy fell to the floor with a thud. He glanced down at him with his lip curled then violently swirled around and walked over to the chair.

 

Malfoy gasped for oxygen but Sniderfield didn't give him time recover. He was pulled to his feet and his hands were bound behind his back.

 

“We’ll take him into custody and you should hear from us tomorrow. I will do the best I can to keep this away from the media, but I can't promise,” he explained.

 

“I understand,” Hermione watched them go through tired eyes and when the door shut, she returned to the chair next to Snape.

 

Penny circled his legs as if to soothe her master. It brought back the memory of the female voice but the rush of other voices caught her attention.

 

“He raped you!” Harry shouted too bluntly.

 

“Really? I was under the impression that he only hugged her!” Professor Snape barked.

 

She could see the lines on his face had got deeper from stress. Tiredness flooded his eyes and nestled in the bags beneath them.  _ I've asked too much of him.  _

 

“Why are you involved in this?! You were the one who wanted that ferret back in Hogwarts!” Harry shot back.

 

“Because I confided in him,” she said. 

 

“In him?” Ron squeaked. “You could've come to us.”

 

“I'd say that the lack of response to her letters was enough to deter her from doing so,” Snape said. 

 

“How does he know that?” Harry started to pace while Ron's face flooded with colour.

 

“Because I confided in him,” she repeated. “To confide in someone means to tell them what's troubling you. I shared my feelings and worries, and he helped me work through them — we’re still working through them now. I've just spent my first night without taking Dreamless Sleep, I may have had a nightmare, but I'm making progress, thanks to him.”

 

“You had a nightmare?” this caught Snape's attention and she looked away from him, embarrassed. 

 

“Yes…” she gnawed on her bottom lip.

 

“We’ll discuss it later.”

 

“Later? I don't think so!” Harry stepped closer and Hermione felt tears sting her eyes.

 

“Harry...please, can you just stop! I understand that this may be difficult to process all in one go, but spare a thought for me! Malfoy raped me! Not you or anyone else in this room. He raped me. And you expect me to sit here and listen to you whining about why I confided in Professor Snape? You should feel shame for not being there when I needed you, and jealous that a man you hate, was. I can't let you talk about him like that; I defended you throughout our school years because you were there for me, and I'll do the bloody same for Professor Snape!”

 

Hermione wiped away her tears and gripped onto the arms of the chair with her shaking hands. Her body quivered beneath the emotional strain and she wished to return to her room.  _ I could do with a phial of Dreamless Sleep. _

 

“I think it would be best for you two to go,” McGonagall finally spoke up. “Let everyone calm down, then we can arrange for you three to meet under more relaxed circumstances. Is that OK with you, Hermione?” she nodded her head, and the boys reluctantly left the room in silence.

 

McGonagall sighed when the doors shut behind them, and turned around with a tense face. “You do not have to attend lessons today—”

 

“I will,” she said. “It will take my mind off things for a couple of hours.”

 

“Very well. I would like to discuss things further with you, but that can wait until tomorrow,” McGonagall flashed her a loving smile, and Hermione got to her feet and shook her body.

 

“Thank you for everything, sir,” she nodded her head at Professor Snape then thanked McGonagall as she passed.

 

_ What a lovely way to start my day. _

* * *

 

 

Hermione sat down on the grass that overlooked Hagrid’s hut. She pulled at the blades of grass to distract her anxious mind from its worries.  _ I don't want to go to sleep, I'm scared _ . Her body's reaction was a form of an anxiety attack; it didn't necessarily have to be a case of hyperventilating.

 

Fidgeting, a tense body, not responding to others and outbursts of anger, are all forms of an anxiety attack.

 

_ What if I see him in my dreams? I could always visit Snape, but he looked exhausted after the meeting this morning. He needs to rest. _

 

The grass before her had thinned out dramatically, and she soon moved onto a more dense patch to destroy.  _ Perhaps I should ask Madam Pomfrey for professional help? I want to carry on seeing Professor Snape, but not at the price of his well-being. He's only just escaped a war with his life, and he should start living it to the fullest. _

 

_ I was meant to see him this evening, but I didn't show up and he never came looking for me—  _

 

A heavy cloak fell onto her shoulders and she jumped out of her daze. Hermione glanced up to see Professor Snape standing next to her with a wicker basket, gloves and gardening tools. She inhaled sharply and took in the comforting scent from his cloak.

 

“You look cold,” he said.

 

Hermione realised that her body was trembling from the cold night. “Thank you, sir.”

 

“Do you want to keep your hands busy?” he eyed the battered patch of a grass.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I'm searching for a medicinal herb called Armoranth. Would you like to help me?”

 

She smiled. “I'd like that.”

 

Hermione got to her feet and followed Snape down the slope. The moon glistened high in the night sky and there were no rain clouds in sight.  _ Good, I don't want to be stuck out in the forest in the rain. _

 

“Won't you be cold?” she asked.

 

“I'm fine.”

 

There wasn't much else to say in response. She couldn't exactly force it back on him after he'd kindly gave it to her. That would ruin his chivalrous action. 

 

They walked for ten minutes in complete silence. Hermione didn't feel awkward at all, the nightlife sang to them both and she wished to stay out here all night to let it lull her to sleep. 

 

“There,” he stopped abruptly and she almost walked into him. “Look.”

 

Hermione followed his finger and saw the purple herb beneath a tree. “What do you need it for?”

 

“I'm working on a new potion,” he crouched down in front of it and she joined him.

 

Snape handed her a pair of gloves and tools to use for herself.  _ It's like he planned to run into me _ , the thought made her smile sheepishly.

 

“You didn't come and see me this evening. Why?”

 

“I...you looked tired, sir, and I didn't want to bother you.”

 

“I will tell you if you're bothering me,” he didn't look up from what he was doing. “Talk to me about your worries instead of assuming.”

 

“I'm sorry-” he pinned her with a look. 

 

“I told you to stop apologising for everything.”

 

“Sorry—it's rather hard not too,” a faint smile appeared on his lips. “The nightmare I had took all the energy from me.”

 

“How bad was it?” he asked in a serious tone and cut the herb free from its root.

 

“I woke up in a sweat...it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was enough to make me fear sleeping again.”

 

“It will get better.”

 

“Has it for you?” Snape paused, then his jaw clenched. 

 

“That's not relevant-”

 

“Are you telling me that you've never had a nightmare? If you're still having them now, then how could it possibly get better for me?”

 

“Because it's different,” he grumbled. 

 

“How so?” she pushed. “I'm not expecting you to tell me the troubles in your life, sir. I just want to know how you cope with the fear of sleeping.”

 

He cut another herb free and she quickly cut the one she'd been toying with. They carried on in silence for a few minutes until he sighed.

 

“I don't cope with it,” he muttered. “I never have.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I don't want to fill your head with false hope, Granger, but you've got a smart mind; I know you'll overcome this.”

 

She smiled at him, then they got to their feet and carried on searching, but this time she stayed by his side.

 

“Professor?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What's the probability of a witch being able to communicate with animals?” he stopped and gave her a perplexed look. “I'm certain Penny spoke to me in McGonagall’s office.”

 

“Don't be ridiculous,” he drawled. “I've told you before that-”

 

“I know what I heard. She tried to comfort me when I was upset, and she always seems to be there when I need her.”

 

“She just likes the attention.”

 

“Are you sure? Have you never noticed how she responds as if she can understand us?”

 

“She's a smart cat,” he said.

 

“Oh really?” she retorted. “That's your only explanation.”

 

“That's the only explanation.”

 

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Maybe she's your familiar?”

 

“They don't exist.”

 

“You sound so sure,” she retorted. “Like you've researched the topic before?”

 

“I have done no such thing,” he sighed. “Let’s carry on; it's painfully obvious that you're looking for a distraction from the matter at hand. I'm not here to engage in normal talk-”

 

“Can't you be?”  _ Why did I ask that? Stupid mouth not listening to my brain! _ “I-I mean OK, sir.”

 

He gave her an odd look. “You have friends to engage in talk with.”

 

_ I should be honest with him _ . “I've spent most of my time with you these past few weeks. My friends haven't been paying much attention to me — not that I expect them too  — you've been a key feature in my life, and I'm grateful for that. Sometimes I wouldn't mind talking about the mundane things; it distracts me from what's really going on inside my head, and oddly enough, you're easy to talk to in a way.”

 

He continued to stare at her in a perplexed way, like he wished to venture inside of her mind to listen to her thoughts. His eyes moved to the basket in his hand then he glanced over his shoulders.

 

“There should be some more this way,” he said. “Come along.”

 

Hermione nodded her head and stayed behind him once more. She gnawed on her bottom lip wondering if she'd made things awkward for him.  _ I suppose that this is just his duty as a teacher to help me...this is too much for him, I should talk to Madam Pomfrey tomorrow morning. I'll need to do it before I'm due to see Professor Snape. _

 

They eventually arrived at a new patch of Armoranth. She joined him on her knees and silently worked the herb away from the soil.  _ This is awkward, why am I so stupid?!  _

 

“Professor, I'm sorry if — Penny?” Snape glanced her way then followed her eyeline to what she was staring at. 

 

Penny sat underneath a nearby tree, watching them curiously. Her dark eyes shimmered in the moonlight coming through the leaves, and her ears twitched towards the faint sounds rushing through the forest.

 

She started to move closer to them and Hermione held out her hand. Penny happily brushed her body against Hermione's skin then settled for sitting in the small gap between Snape and her.

 

“How did she know where to find us?” Hermione whispered, and Snape tutted in response.

 

“Cats have much better senses than us.”

 

“I'm telling you that there's something special about her-”

 

“And I'm telling you that there's not-”

 

**_“Why don't you just ask me yourselves?”_ **

 

_ Huh? _

 

Ever so slowly, they both lowered their gazes down to the black cat. She stared up at them with pure innocence on her face and Hermione puffed out a laugh, then a grin grew on her face.

 

“You can talk?”

 

**_“Telepathically, yes.”_ **

 

“That's not possible,” Snape said.

 

**_“I'm afraid it is, Master.”_ **

 

“I'm not your-”

 

Hermione gasped. “She's your familiar! I knew it! I was right; isn't this amazing?!”

 

Professor Snape didn't look amused at all, but there was no anger or malice on his face. Hermione scratched Penny behind the ears and she purred in response.

 

**_“Yes, I'm your familiar, Severus Tobias Snape.”_ **

 

“It's just Severus,” he grumbled. “And how is that possible?”

 

**_“There aren't a lot of us left anymore,”_ ** she explained.  **_“We've all abandoned our small group to seek out our masters. Only you can hear me.”_ **

 

“How come I can?” Hermione sat down properly and rubbed some of the dirt from her hands.

 

**_“Because you're special to-”_ **

 

Professor Snape got to his feet with a sigh. “Let’s return to the castle now. We should both get some rest after such a tiresome day.”

 

Hermione raced to catch up with him as he practically sprinted from the forest. Penny caught up to him with ease and stayed by his side.  _ I knew I was right about Penny being his familiar! _

 

“Are you angry?” she jogged up to his side and he narrowed his eyes.

 

“Miss Granger you have done nothing to anger me,” he said. “However, it's not escaping my attention that you seem to always be right.”

 

Hermione bit on her bottom lip to stop her laugh from escaping. “Am I allowed to apologise for that?”

 

“No,” he grunted. “It looks like it's about to rain, so quicken your pace.”

 

She tried her best to keep up with his long strides and they managed to make it back inside before the rain started to pour. Many things dawned on her as she let Snape guide her back to her room.

 

_ Tomorrow will be another long day. I could do with a holiday...maybe I should do that when I finish the school year? _

 

They arrived outside the door and Snape nodded goodbye. She watched him disappear down the corridor with Penny close to his ankles. A heavy weight rested on her chest and warm tears stung her eyes.

 

_ Why am I crying?  _ There were many reasons why she should be crying, but none of them plagued the forefront of her mind right now.  _ Professor Snape helps distract me from all the darkness. _

 

She went into her bedroom and petted Crookshanks who lounged on her bed. “Today has been exhausting,” she muttered. “And tomorrow won't be any better—Oh!” 

 

Hermione slid Snape's cloak from her shoulders and smiled down at the comforting fabric.  _ I should return this to him...tomorrow _ . She quickly readied herself for bed then lay on top of her quilt and rested the cloak over her body.

 

Crookshanks inspected the new item then settled for sleeping right by Hermione's head. For once it wasn't the fire that sent her to sleep; it was the comforting warmth of Snape's cloak wrapped around her body. 

 


	8. Chapter Eight

_ ~ Chapter 8 ~ _

 

Five o’clock in the morning came too soon. Hermione's eyes slowly opened and her eyebrows narrowed together in confusion.  _ Nothing, no nightmare. _ What was wrong with her? She expected a wave of terror to haunt her dreams every night — not that she wasn't grateful for not having one.

 

She sat up and rubbed the dust from her eyes. The fire had burnt out, but her body was reasonably warm. Professor Snape's cloak puddled in her lap and she ran her fingers along the fabric.

 

_ I'm going to go and talk to Madam Pomfrey _ . Hermione already knew that she rose early in the morning so she wouldn't be waking her up. _ I have to stop being a burden on Professor Snape.  _

 

Hermione moved from the bed with a deafening yawn and got herself ready for the day. She wasn't sure what it had in store for her, but she knew that she had to take it in her stride.  _ That's the only way I can get better. _

 

As she awkwardly stared at her reflection, she started to take notice of her features.  _ My skin is too pale. My hair is a mess. My lips are cracked. My body is disgusting.  _

 

_ I'm ugly. _

 

Hermione's eyes moved frantically as they scanned her body, while at the same time, cranking up the machine that fuelled her lack of self-confidence. Her chest felt heavy as the oxygen fled rapidly from her lungs.

 

_ I can't go out there looking like this… _

 

Tears formed in her eyes and she took a few steps back until her legs hit the bed. She lowered herself backwards and curled up in a ball.

 

_ Everyone will look at me if I go out there. They'll all laugh at the way I look—probably mock my personality. _

 

Sobs racked her body, then she grabbed Snape's cloak and wrapped it around herself.

 

She wasn't sure how long had passed when the knock came at her door. Hermione didn't make a move to answer it; she stayed lying on her tear-damp quilt. The lock started to click undone and the door soon opened on its own.

 

A shadow loomed over her body near the foot of her bed. She knew who it was. There was no mistaking his powerful presence. A wet nose nuzzled into her frizzy hair to comfort her but it didn't ease her sobs.

 

“Do you need a moment?” his deep voice rattled her chest as he moved the chair from her dressing table and sat near her. She nodded her head against the bed and welcomed Penny’s touch.

 

She didn’t understand why her mind had collapsed underneath the idea of getting on with her day.  _ Is there something wrong with me?  _ Hermione wiped away her tears but stayed beneath the cloak.

 

“I’m ugly.”

 

“And I’m the Minister of Magic.”

 

Hermione chuckled at his immediate response; it was almost like he hadn’t meant to say it, but he didn’t change his answer. She wasn’t sure why she laughed and she managed to sit up and look at him.

 

His serious gaze roamed over her tear-stained face. “What happened?”

 

She sighed. “I was looking at myself in the mirror and I couldn’t stand my reflection.”

 

Snape stared at her like she’d told him the sky was purple, so she averted her eyes to Penny, who nestled against her thigh.

 

“How did you know something was wrong?” she asked.

 

“Penny told me,” he said. “Apparently she can sense these things.”

 

Hermione smirked. “So I was correct.”

 

“Why doesn't that surprise me?” he muttered. “And stop trying to escape the matter at hand. What thoughts ran through your mind?”

 

“Just that I’m ugly...and that everyone will laugh at me.”

 

“Your mind is overthinking the things you’re usually comfortable with,” he explained. “Trauma victims tend to fold quickly under anxiety.”

 

Hermione didn’t like his words.  _ I’m not a victim...or am I?  _ She didn’t like the way it made her feel —  _ it’s like a punch to the gut.  _

 

“Did I say something wrong?” she shook her head, but he raised his brow in question.

 

“I don’t like being called a victim,” she admitted. “I don’t like how it makes me feel.”

 

“I apologise.”

 

“You didn’t know.”

 

“And now I do.”

 

She played with the fabric of his cloak then held it out to him. “I forgot to give this back,” she tried to push it into his hands but he didn't take it.

 

“You're up early, did you have another nightmare?” he asked.

 

_ Oh, bugger. _ “No...the truth is I was going to go and see Madam Pomfrey.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“There's always a voice in my head that's telling me I'm bothering you, so I thought I would ask for help,” she explained. “A professional gets paid to deal with people like me, and this isn't a part of your contract as a teacher.”

 

His fingers curled over his knees and she saw Penny twitch in his direction. _ I've offended him...I'm so stupid!  _

 

“I'm s-sorry, please don't be mad at me, sir. I just wanted to give you more free time to live your life — you survived the war and I thought you may want to do the things that being a spy stopped you from doing! I'm so sorry-”

 

“I told you yesterday not to assume things,” he said. “I understand that there is a lot going on inside your head right now. If you think professional help will be the quickest way to recover then I suggest you go and speak to Madam Pomfrey. You haven't offended me in any way; I am your professor and I want what's best for you. I've said before that I'm not an expert on this subject and I was only trying my best to aid you.”

 

Hermione didn't understand why his words hurt her more than him calling her a victim. _ Have I judged our circumstances differently to him? Probably. _ She thought they were getting closer to a dysfunctional friendship somehow, but it appeared that it was a student-teacher relationship; nothing more, nothing less.

 

“Fine,” she quipped and tossed his cloak at him. “I'll go right now!”

 

There was no reason for her to be acting this way, but it was like she'd lost control of her whole body.  _ I need to calm down; mixing shame with anger isn't a good recipe. _

 

**_“Child wait!”_ ** Hermione paused mid-movement to jump from her bed and turned to look at Penny.  **_“He cannot hear me right now, I promise. You have to listen to me when I tell you that he doesn't realise the true impact of his words.”_ **

 

She glanced at Snape who was still in shock, holding his creased cloak.  _ That was very childish of me _ . Her body started to calm down causing her shoulders to slump.

 

“Miss Granger?” he drawled with confused eyes. 

 

“I'm sorry, sir. I don't know what came over me.”

 

“I must've said something wrong-”

 

“No!” she exclaimed. “Sometimes the truth is hard to hear…funnily enough, I've enjoyed our time spent together; although I wish it had been under different circumstances, nonetheless, you've become a comforting part of my life. I just panicked at the thought of having to stop the thing I most look forward to in my day.”

 

Hermione knew that honesty was the best way to get her point across to a man like Professor Snape.  _ Perhaps I shouldn't have been this honest. Oh, well there's no going back now. _ She searched his dark eyes for any clue of his response, but passiveness rested on his features as usual.

 

“I don't understand why you would enjoy our time together?”

 

Hermione furrowed her brows. “I value your time, isn't that enough reason?”

 

“Not under these circumstances.”

 

“OK,” she gnawed on her bottom lip in an attempt to figure out a better way to explain what she meant. “Think of it this way, sir. Before the attack, I was already experiencing loneliness. My friends seemed to be moving to a better place, whereas I was stuck in the same state I was in right after the war ended.”

 

“After the attack, I came to you because I knew you — no offence intended by the way — wouldn't be soft towards me and try to protect me from the harsh truth. I didn't wish to be cuddled and have someone whisper soothing words in my ear. You did as I expected, and I'm eternally grateful for that, sir.”

 

“I never expected you to extend the offer of your counsel; I didn't really want it, but I came around to the idea. After a few days, I started to realise that talking to you was the only thing keeping me going. It didn't matter to me that I always ended up crying because at least you were there to tell me whether I was being silly or not. After a lot of time thinking over things, I understood that you had become a valued person in my life, sir.”

 

“If you still don't understand what I mean, perhaps this will clear things up. I was lonely and then you became a constant figure in my life — not once were you cruel to me and you were the most honest person anyone has ever been to me. It wasn't out of desperation, but I've somehow grown attached to the idea of you being in my life. Not as my professor, but as a shoulder to cry on...as a friend. You've given me more than any of my other friends have and that means a lot to me, Professor Snape.”

 

“Go and talk to Madam Pomfrey.”

 

He got to his feet taking the cloak and Penny with him. Her mouth hung open and the slam of her door made her jump. Hot air wheezed from her mouth and tears stung her eyes.

 

“W-What?”

* * *

 

 

Hermione sat across from Professor McGonagall and sipped nervously at her tea. They hadn't said much as it was easy to sense that Hermione wasn't in the talking mood.

 

_ He left, just like that. _

 

She was torn between anger and embarrassment. _ I poured my heart out to him, and he bloody left! _ She knew that talking to McGonagall about it might help her, but she knew that the Headmistress already disapproved of their teacher-student relationship.

 

_ But it was not any form of a relationship...I mean nothing to him! How did I get it so mixed up?! _

 

“Is it the waiting that's making you tense?” McGonagall asked.

 

“Yes,” she lied. “I want to hear from Sniderfield now.”

 

“He sent me a letter this morning informing me that they've run into some problems, but he's dealing with it.”

 

_ Great. _

 

“That doesn't sound promising,” Hermione's voice was flat. 

 

“Have you gone to see Madam Pomfrey yet?”

 

“No.” That was the truth. Even though Professor Snape told her to go—and a part of her wanted to as well—she couldn't get herself to visit the hospital wing. _ There's no point anymore, it's obvious that I'm looking for a friend out of the person I confide in. _

 

“You're a strong woman, Hermione, but you need professional help-”

 

“I'm doing just fine.”

 

“You don't look fine.”

 

“Well, I feel it.”

 

“Hermione!” 

 

She sank back into the chair and bowed her head. “Sorry…I...I've upset Professor Snape.”

 

“Oh!” she sounded pleased. “I'm sure you haven't, as you know he's a complicated man. This is why I want you to stop seeing him because he hardly has his own life together to help you organise yours, my dear.”

 

She picked at a loose thread on her sleeve and tried to think of a way to respond. A part of her wished to defend him, saying that he had perfect control over his life, but it proved that she didn't know him well enough, because he might not have his own life sorted out. 

 

_ I think she's right...I wish she wasn't.  _

 

“Headmistress, I just need you to know that he has been nothing but chivalrous towards me. He isn't a bad man, and once again, he's putting himself last against everyone else. After everything, I want to see him go far in his life because it saddens me that he's back here, putting someone else first and not himself.”

 

“That's an honourable thing to say,” McGonagall said. “I can't say he'd appreciate hearing it because, well, you know what he's like.”

 

Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes. “I tried to tell him how grateful I am, but I think I offended him somehow. I'm on my own and he's the only person who’s given me what I need.” 

 

“You have me, and Madam Pomfrey will organise help for you.”

 

“I don't mean to offend you, Headmistress, but you’re not what I want. You weren't the person I turned to moments after the attack — Professor Snape didn't even hesitate before taking me in, and I really can't do this without him,” she choked on her sob and McGonagall raced around the table to crouch down in front of her.

 

“You're in a vulnerable situation which means you can find yourself getting attached to someone you shouldn't, my dear. Professor Snape may have good intentions this time around, but he isn't a man you can depend on—”

 

“Yet, he was the one who looked after me, supported me, showed me patience and displayed tender gestures. You've done nothing but sugar-coat things and bitch about Professor Snape.”

 

Loud clapping came from one of the portraits above, and Hermione turned her nose up at McGonagall. She hated the truth in the Headmistress’ words, but it bothered her that she couldn't finish a sentence without criticising Snape. 

 

_ Why am I defending him after he walked out? I'm only going to see him in lessons now...sat all alone at the back of the classroom. _

 

Professor McGonagall glared up at one of the portraits then returned to her seat.  _ I can't believe I swore in front of her.  _

 

“There's a lot going on in your mind right now so I won't take things personally,” she said. “Will you be going to lessons today?”

 

Hermione shook her head and got to her feet. “Goodbye.”

 

The day passed slowly and Hermione kept herself busy in her room until night fell.

 

_ The Black Lake is beautiful at night. _

 

It was times like this that she missed her parents.  _ They're so far away with no idea that I exist...I miss them so much. _

 

Hermione sat on the damp grass staring into the water. _ Today has gone by in a whirlwind of darkness.  _ It seemed all her thoughts ran wild then fizzled out into nothingness; she wished to fall asleep, and her lack of shut-eye led her out here.

 

She wasn't worried that she might be caught, she kind of wished that a certain someone would.  _ He won't come and find me.  _

 

_ I should've kept my stupid mouth shut! He doesn't see me as a friend; I'm only a troublesome child to him _ . It hurt her to realise that she'd grasped the wrong end of the stick, and now here she was, crying by the lake. 

 

_ I'm alone.  _

 

No news had arrived about Malfoy. She was still angry at the Headmistress for the things she said, and she still hasn't seen Madam Pomfrey.  _ I don't mean to sound like a petulant child, but I only want Professor Snape. _

 

She cried out in frustration and moved closer to the water. There was something enchanting about seeing the moon reflect off the surface, and it caused Hermione to relax a little. 

 

_ Tomorrow — well today actually — will be a better day, I hope _ . She thought that she might invite Harry and Ron back, but she definitely wasn't ready to return to that emotional state yet.  _ I'm already in a bad enough state.  _

 

A shadow covered her, and Hermione's eyes landed on the dark reflection in the water. She turned to look up at Professor Snape.

 

“Hello.” He didn't offer a response, but she could sense his nerves towards the situation. 

 

“It's cold out here, you should head inside,” he said.

 

“I like it out here.”

 

“Do you want a detention?”

 

“With you? I wouldn't miss it for the world!” she glared up at him slightly surprised by her words.  _ My head’s all over the place today. _ His eyes roamed over her face and she got to her feet so she could turn away from him. 

 

“I don't appreciate your attitude-”

 

“Well I'm not here to please you!” she whirled around to face him. “Why are you here? Come to mess up my mind some more or cast me aside?”

 

Hermione begged herself to be quiet, but her anger wouldn't simmer down. All she wanted from him was comfort and she hated that he'd made her feel bad for wanting it from him. She knew it was wrong for her to be too dependent on him during such a difficult time, yet, she couldn't help the way it made her feel.

 

“I wasn't under the impression that I offended you?”

 

“Of course you've offended me, sir! You humiliated me!” she yelled. “I only wanted you to know how grateful I am for your words and support, but you threw it back in my face. Perhaps we’ve both viewed our situation differently. However, you've been the person there for me at my lowest points, and I won't ever forget that — I can't forget that. Yet, it frustrates me that you're my teacher because I cannot show my appreciation towards you without others — including you — deeming it inappropriate.”

 

Hermione glanced out at the lake and sighed. “I'm sorry for shouting, sir, it's just been a long day.”

 

He came to stand by her side and she felt his eyes on her face. “I hate to admit it, Miss Granger, but your words earlier took me by surprise.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“You have to understand how...odd this situation is. All of it has happened too fast and I'm only just coming to terms with it.”

 

She glanced at him briefly then nodded her head. “I suppose you're right, but this is the way things are now. It all comes down to whether you're ready for the change. Your help and counsel is something that I want, but I don't want you forcing yourself to do it because you think you owe me.”

 

“Owe you?”

 

“For...that time in the Shrieking Shack.”

 

He didn't respond with any words but she sensed the shift in his demeanour. “I think we both would've been better off if you'd let me die.”

 

“How could you say that?” she turned to face him with her arms crossed.

 

“Did it ever cross your mind that he wouldn't have returned to Hogwarts if it wasn't for me?” he focused on a distant point across the lake. 

 

“I don't see it like that — I never have!” she moved to touch his arm but quickly stepped away from him. “I understand you can't control what's going on inside your mind, sir, but I'd rather have you here…” she trailed off as she realised what she was about to say.

 

Although his point held some validity, she wouldn't wish death upon him, she'd rather face her attacker ten times over then have him dead. He sensed what she'd been about to say and looked at her in disgust.

 

She shook her head. “I don't know how to respond to that without offending you or degrading myself.”

 

Snape relaxed a little then he stared at his feet. “I came to find you so I could apologise for my harsh behaviour, and because the Headmistress came to me with a proposition.”

 

Hermione worried her bottom lip. “A proposition?”

 

“Sniderfield has informed McGonagall that they've run into some problems with Malfoy’s arrest. Somehow his father found out what occurred and he has people causing trouble for the Aurors dealing with your case.”

 

Her heart started to pound in her chest and she blinked back the tears forming in her eyes.  _ That's all I need, more trouble.  _

 

“She wants to send you away.”

 

“W-What?!” she exclaimed wiping away her stray tears. “Why does she want to send me away?”

 

“For your safety,” he said. “Unfortunately, a lot of my Slytherins are easy to influence; all it takes is a little bribery and they'll do anything.”

 

“But I don't want to leave here.”

 

“You won't be going alone. I'll be with you.”

 

She smiled slightly then nodded her head. “OK.”

 

“I wasn't her first choice, but she knew that using Aurors to help protect you would draw attention to the situation. I'll be going on leave for a while and a substitute professor will take over from me. She's organising a place for us to stay as we speak and we'll be leaving before everyone wakes up.”

 

There was a lot rushing through her mind right now.  _ This is a change I hadn't planned for.  _ She didn't know whether McGonagall was asking too much of him, but he's told her countless times that he'd refuse if that was the case.

 

“How long will we have to leave for?” 

 

“That's indefinite for now,” he sighed. “No one should know that we're leaving, so I don't want you to worry because I don't think you're in any immediate danger.”

 

“Are you fine with doing this?”

 

“I volunteered,” she could tell by his tight face that he didn't mean to admit that. 

 

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I'd rather it be you than anyone else.”

 

He glanced down at her briefly then nodded his head. “We should head inside and get some sleep. The Headmistress and I will wake you up in a few hours.”

 

Hermione followed him back inside the castle, and Penny came walking over to brush against her ankles. Her heart started to settle and she accepted that this was the way things would be for a while.

 


	9. Chapter Nine

_ ~ Chapter Nine ~ _

 

They arrived outside of the house in a rush of dark robes. Hermione pushed her hood away from her morning curls and stared at the dark house. Before them was a large, two-story house on the cliff edge of Northern England. The waves crashed against the rocks below and seagulls circled around the brown, weather-worn roof.

 

Hermione's grip tightened on the strap of her bag and she glanced at Professor Snape. They were in the middle of nowhere, together; it scared her more than she cared to admit. She noticed that his bag was much smaller than hers, but she didn't expect anything less of him.

 

_ Will I see him in normal clothes? _

 

The gap in her bag widened as a black head slipped out with ears twitching. Penny wiggled free from her comfy cage and landed on the damp grass.

 

“I don't think anyone will find us here,” she said.

 

“It's a hole,” Snape muttered.

 

“We can make it feel more like home if we have to stay here for a long time,” Hermione walked up to the broken steps and onto the wrap-around porch. He appeared behind her then tapped his wand against the handle of the door.

 

The wards dispersed and they headed inside. “Yes, this is definitely a fixer-upper,” she raced into the centre of the sitting room with a smile on her face.

 

There was something about this place that lifted her spirits.  _ Perhaps it's because I know I'm safe and alone here. No one can make me feel uncomfortable or anxious. _

 

Professor Snape disappeared up the stairs and she stepped into the kitchen that much resembled the Weasleys one back at The Burrow. She placed her bag on the long, brittle table and glanced around the messy kitchen. 

 

_ I should clean up. _

 

Penny jumped onto the table and settled down to watch her. Hermione was busy sorting out the piles of pots and pans when Snape returned.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

She glanced over her shoulder. “Cleaning, sir.”

 

“You don't need to do that.”

 

“I don't mind; it should be a livable place if we're to stay here,” she opened up the cupboard beneath her and put away two pots.

 

“Miss Granger, I don't expect you to clean the house-”

 

“It's really no problem — it keeps me distracted,” he sighed in response and a sense of dread flooded her body. “I'm sorry.”

 

“What have I said?”

 

“To stop apologising.”

 

He pulled back one of the chairs and sat down. “There looks to be an overgrown garden out on the cliff edge. You can keep yourself busy with that instead of cleaning.”

 

_ Why doesn't he want me to clean? _ Hermione nodded her head and stepped away from the counter. “Is there any more news about him?”

 

“I'm afraid not,” he said as Penny nuzzled her face against his hand. “I don't think you should worry too much about it.”

 

A rush of anger crashed over her but she took a deep breath to warn it off. “I have a right to know, sir.”

 

He gave her an odd look. “I know.”

 

“One of the reasons I came to you was because I knew you wouldn’t shelter me from the truth,” she explained.

 

He didn't seem impressed with her response.  _ I can't say anything right around him!  _ She grabbed her bag with a sigh.

 

“Have you picked a room?” he nodded so she headed upstairs to take the spare room.

 

_ It’s bland, just like the rest of the house _ . Hermione had no idea what to do next, was she to carry on like she would at home —  _ if I had a home… _

 

She fell backwards onto the bed with a yawn. Her spirits were going to be low for a while since Crookshanks has to stay at Hogwarts.  _ McGonagall wants to keep him around so people will assume that I am _ . She didn't see the point in it, but at least Penny could keep her company.

 

_ I feel odd though, petting an animal that can talk seems like the equivalent to petting a human.  _

 

Four paws landed on her chest and she hardly jumped in surprise. Penny rested her head on her front paws and batted her dark eyes at her.

 

**_“Something's bothering you,”_ ** she whispered.

 

“Can I stroke you?”

 

**_“Nothing stopped you before,”_ ** Hermione began to move her hand down Penny's black fur.  **_“Tell me what's troubling you?”_ **

 

“I...this is weird,” she said. “I don't know how to act around him, and I don't see how it will help me get better.”

 

**_“You're around one another without school obligations; he’ll be able to relax, as well as you. It takes time to adjust to new surroundings, just give it time, my dear.”_ **

 

“However, Professor Snape has to be ready in case someone comes after us.”

 

**_“You fought in a war, he won't be defending alone.”_ ** Hermione smiled a little at the feline’s valid point.  **_“I do believe that your counselling sessions will continue, so I'm sure you'll make better progress here than at Hogwarts.”_ **

 

“Perhaps you're right.”

 

**_“I always am.”_ **

* * *

 

The next day came slowly.

 

She'd made them both dinner but he didn't attend. She left his meal covered on the counter and awoke to find it untouched.  _ Did he eat something else? _ Hermione glanced around the empty kitchen.  _ Should I waste time making him breakfast? _

 

There was no movement upstairs so she assumed he was still asleep.  _ I always thought he was an early riser, perhaps I'm wrong—  _

 

Penny raced around the side of the house and Hermione stepped over to the window. The sound of waves crashing against the cliff side filled her ears, and she headed out of the side door and walked around to the back.

 

Professor Snape was on his knees pulling out the overgrown plants from a flowerbed. He'd rid his teaching robes and wore a plain, white shirt and black trousers. Hermione leant against the wooden post and smiled to herself.

 

Her hair fluttered in the morning breeze as she slid down and sat on the steps with her knees up to her chest. She couldn't help but notice how peaceful he looked gardening.  _ It's like our situation isn't as cut throat as it truly is.  _

 

Penny moved from his side and joined her on the steps.  **_“How do you fair this morning?”_ **

 

“I didn't have a nightmare,” she said, and Snape finally noticed her presence. He got to his feet and walked over.

 

“Good morning.”

 

“Morning, sir.”

 

“Have you had breakfast yet?” he didn't make eye contact with her.

 

“No,” she tried to move so his eyes would catch hers.

 

“Let’s go and have some, then you can tell me how you're feeling this morning,” he headed through the back door and she stared after him for a few moments, then got to her feet and followed him into the kitchen.

 

Ten minutes later, Hermione was tucking into a bowl of cereal and some jam on toast. She noticed that he'd hardly touched his food and she fought back the urge to ask him about it.  _ Whenever I ask him something close to being personal, he shuts off. _

 

“Did you have a nightmare?” he asked.

 

“Thankfully not,” she said. “I didn't dream about anything.”

 

“I would like you to keep a dream journal so I can see the main cause behind them — also note down your thoughts and feelings during the day before you go to sleep,” he stirred the spoon in his tea and she nodded her head.

 

“I can do that,” she tapped her fingers on the table. “Aren't you hungry?”

 

“Not really,” he muttered under his breath. “That doesn't matter. How is your mind during the day?”

 

Hermione's eyes lingered on him for a few moments, then she looked down at her plate. “He doesn't cross my mind often, but I'm still anxious about everything.”

 

“Anything specific?”

 

“The idea of talking to someone I don't know terrifies me, as well as going outside where there are more people.”

 

“I’d say you’re suffering from what Muggles call, Social Anxiety,” he explained. “It’s a perfectly normal reaction to any form of trauma.”

 

Hermione already knew that, but she was more occupied with wondering why Snape was being weird towards her. _ Is he still mad that I want to be friends with him? No, he wouldn’t be annoyed by something so ridiculous.  _

 

“Are we still able to go for our morning walks; there’s plenty of countryside to explore since we’re in the middle of nowhere,” she tried to catch his eyes again, but once more, he avoided her. 

 

“I don’t think that’s wise for the time being,” he sipped his tea. “You can set your mind to redecorating if you must.”

 

“If I must?”

 

He furrowed his brow. “I’m sorry if I misunderstood, but I assumed that’s what you meant yesterday.”

 

“And what will you be doing?”

 

“I might tend to the garden, as you can tell it’s rather overgrown.” Hadn’t he told her to focus on that yesterday?

 

“I noticed,” she muttered, then pushed some of her hair away from her face. “I...I want to do something with you, sir. Our morning walks are one of the many things I enjoy doing in your company.”

 

He got to his feet with a sigh. “I’m afraid that isn’t allowed.”

 

“Fine,” she crossed her arms over her chest and gnawed on her bottom lip.  _ Perhaps this is just the way he acts outside of school? I’m sure he likes having his space; I should allow him that pleasure.  _

 

Penny jumped up onto the table as Snape left the kitchen.  **_“He’s confused.”_ **

 

“About what?” Hermione whispered back so he couldn’t hear.

 

**_“His reaction to you meaning more to him than a student.”_ **

 

“Oh.” Heat flooded her cheeks and she leant closer to the black cat. “Really?”

 

**_“Of course, my dear, why do you think you can hear me?”_ **

 

“I just...I thought I was special.”

 

**_“You’re special, to him.”_ **

 

Hermione blinked in response.

 

**_“My master is capable of human emotions, which means he has the ability to care about someone. His feelings are complicated when it comes to you, and it’s why he’s keeping his distance from you.”_ **

 

“I want to be his friend.”

 

**_“Then keep treating him the way you do; it’s bound to happen one way or another, and he knows it but doesn’t want to admit it,”_ ** Penny nudged her head against Hermione’s hand.  **_“Being here will help clear both of your minds. However, it takes time to work past these things.”_ **

 

Hermione nodded her head with a smile.  _ He cares about me...I care about him too. The only thing I can do right now is continue to talk to him and let him know that I’m here for him to talk to as well.  _

 

“I’m glad you found him,” she said. “You’ve helped me a lot.”

 

**_“You’re a good person, Hermione, and I’m glad my master can count on you as a friend.”_ **

 

“Me too.” 


	10. Chapter Ten

_ ~ Chapter 10 ~ _

 

A week later, they slipped into a routine of only speaking first thing in the morning and exchanging brief words before bed. Snape spent most of his time sorting out the garden near the cliff edge. Hermione kept herself busy inside with Penny; they'd formed a close friendship.

 

_ That's right, my best friend is now a cat. _

 

She tried to make progress with him but he continued to talk to her in a formal way.  _ I'm just glad that he still talks to me. _ There has been no more news about Malfoy's case, and Hermione found herself getting more and more worried by the day. 

 

Hermione nudged open the front door with her shoulder then placed the bucket on the top step. Her task for today is to scrub the grimy surface of the wrap-around porch, by hand.  _ The day would be boring if I did it with a wave of my wand.  _

 

Penny strutted down onto the overgrown grass and she raced around in search of something to play with. Hermione pulled out the hard bristled brush and began to scrub the top step. 

 

The morning air pinched at her cheeks and she stopped to button up her coat. December would be upon them soon and she wondered if they would still be here at Christmas. _ I couldn't spend that day with him avoiding me. _

 

**_“He had a nightmare last night,”_ ** Penny appeared from the grass and she turned to look at her. 

 

“He did?” Hermione sighed.  _ I haven't had another nightmare...now I feel bad that he was alone last night when it happened. _ “Is he OK?”

 

**_“Passive as usual.”_ **

 

“I shouldn't mention it to him, should I?”

 

**_“Don't,”_ ** she said.  **_“I just informed you in case he lashes out when he talks to you.”_ **

 

“Thank you for the heads up.”

 

Hermione focused on cleaning the front part of the porch, then the next time she looked up it was because a shadow covered her. For a moment, she thought it was a stranger, but her mind registered it as being Snape.

 

“Oh,” she tucked some hair behind her ear. “Hello, sir.”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

She glanced at the scrubber. “Cleaning.”

 

Was he about to give her another lecture about what she should be doing? She never would've guessed him to be a man of sexual prejudices — maybe it's a good thing that he doesn't expect her to clean, just because she's a woman.

 

“I went inside the house and you weren't there! What if someone had taken you?” she didn't expect to see such anger on his face.

 

“I-I was with Penny,” she stammered and her chest rose rapidly in panic. “I didn't know that I should inform you-”

 

“Well think harder next time!”

 

It was Hermione's turn to become angry. She tossed the scrubber into the bucket and stumbled to her feet. Her eyes lit up like a lioness about to pounce on its kill.

 

“I am my own person, understand?” she crossed her arms. “I'm aware that I have to be careful, but don't think I'm going to stand here and allow you to take out your anger on me! If you don't wish to talk about it, that's absolutely fine — just don't think that I'll let you make me uncomfortable to be here with you!”

 

He kept his narrowed eyes on her, and she glared back at him with equal ferociousness. If an outsider took note of their personalities, they would be quick to note how different — yet, somehow similar — they are from one another. 

 

A personality clash was bound to occur somewhere down the line, but that didn't mean she wished for it to happen. 

 

**_“Are you two quite finished?”_ ** they glanced down at Penny, who stared back at them with an amused sparkle in her eyes.

 

Hermione's anger fled her body and she sagged beneath a tiresome weight. “I'm sorry for shouting at you, sir,” she stared down at the drying wood.

 

“I...apologise too,” it sounded as if someone was threatening to kill him if he didn't say those words. “You may come and help me with the garden.”

 

_ An order...shall I defy him or oblige? _

 

“I'm cleaning the porch,” she said. “I'll eventually make it to the back porch, then I wouldn't mind helping you.”

 

His jaw tightened. “Very well.”

 

She watched him walk away with a violent tug of his outer coat, then he sat down on the steps.  _ Bloody hell.  _ Hermione narrowed her eyes at him but soon returned to cleaning the porch. 

 

He stalked her throughout the process until she reached the back porch around midday. She thought he might be polite and ask her if she was hungry —  _ I'm very hungry _ — but he didn't seem to be in the mood for niceties.

 

She turned to look at him as he leant against one of the wooden beams. “Has the Headmistress contacted you yet?”

 

“No,” he grunted. “I don't think she will for a while.”

 

The air was still awkward between them and she wished to fix it.  _ I'm not sure how to act around him anymore.  _

 

“Would you like some lunch?” she asked.

 

“No.”

 

She sighed in response and pushed down her anger. _ It's like dealing with a child; he infuriates me just like Ron used too. _

 

“Are you not hungry or do you not want me making things for you?”

 

He didn't respond but she could feel his eyes on the back of her head.  _ I guess it's the latter _ . She kind of understood why he disliked it. He's been dependent on himself most of his life, and having someone offer to do things for him is probably a new thing; he seems like the kind of person who hates change, whether it be for the good or bad.

 

“Sir?”

 

“What?”

 

“I appreciate everything you've done for me thus far, but I don't wish to have you around if you don't want to be here,” she explained. “I'm painfully aware that I shouldn't have mentioned anything about becoming friends—”

 

A strong arm wrapped around her waist and she was picked up, just as a green flash of magic burnt the wood where her head had been. She screamed in fright and found herself being pulled back into the house by Snape.  

 

The house shook around them and she ended up pinned against the door by his body. Before she could move to look up, he disappeared from the house and out into the back garden to enter the fight. Hermione trembled with adrenaline then she scrambled to pull her wand from her right boot.

 

When her hand touched the door handle, she received a shock up her arm. “No...No!” she screamed, realising he'd thrown the wards up to keep her sealed inside.

 

Hermione rushed into the small study nearby and ran to the window. Three masked men stood on the cliff edge with their wands drawn. She tried to bang on the window to get his attention, but the thuds were muted.

 

“Bloody hell!” she glanced around the room for any sign of hope, then whirled back around at the sound of a duel commencing. _ I have to do something!  _

 

She sprinted from the room and hurried up the stairs, gracefully tripping on the top step and landing on her arm. Her hiss of pain was breathless, but she got to her feet and headed down the hallway towards the loft hatch. 

 

_ There's a large window that leads out onto the roof...I think I remember it being open! _ She jumped a few times to undo the bolt and it eventually fell down, narrowly missing her head. The ladder slid down to her feet and she climbed up, breaking the middle step in the process. 

 

Dust filled her lungs and she coughed it back out. The cold pinched her skin and she sighed in relief when she spotted the open window. She pushed at the broken glass and carefully manoeuvred herself out onto the brittle roof. 

 

**_“Go back inside!”_ ** Hermione’s foot slipped on the damp, but she managed to grip onto the window sill to stop herself from falling. Penny was staring up at her from the side of the house the window led out too. She could hear the sound of fighting and knew that she couldn't ignore it.

 

_ I'm not an invalid...he needs my help, and I can't lose him!  _

 

She let herself slide down to the edge of the roof, and with a staggered breath, she jumped down and hit the ground hard. Her ankle rolled beneath her and she cried out in pain. 

 

**_“Hermione-”_ ** she readied her wand and managed to get to her feet, then limped around the side of the house.

 

Hermione arrived just in time to see one fallen man, Snape duelling another, and an injured one on his knees about to fire the killing curse his way.

 

“Avada-”

 

“ _ Stupefy! _ ” The man flew backwards startling the two duelling men, and Severus delivered the final blow to his opponent, causing him to roll towards the edge of the cliff.

 

Hermione's chest heaved for oxygen and the rush of adrenaline fled her body. The pain from her wrist and ankle came alight, causing her to cry out in pain. She stumbled backwards until her back hit the porch then she landed on the grass with a thud.

 

A flash of silver passed her and she spotted Snape’s Patronus racing off to deliver a message. She looked up in time to see a dishevelled, and furious, Snape charging towards her.

 

“You stupid girl!” he yelled, and before she could think of a snapped retort, he picked her up off the ground and carried her inside.

 

He put her down on the sofa while she cried out in pain. Snape grabbed her bruising wrist and roughly took hold of her calf to inspect her burning ankle. 

 

“I'm s-sorry — he was going to kill you!” she whimpered loudly, and he stopped to look into her eyes.

 

“Calm down,” he whispered. “Take some deep breaths,” his hand came to rest on her shoulder and she nodded through her tears. Without thinking, she gripped on tight to his hand and tried to control her breathing. 

 

They stayed that way for a while until the flames turned green and a group of Aurors stepped out, followed by McGonagall.

 

“Hermione!” she raced over to the sofa, and before she could smother her, she whirled around to glare down at Snape. “What happened?!”

 

“What do you think, woman? They found out we are here, only you, me and Sniderfield know of our whereabouts!” he still hadn't let go of her ankle, and his grip tightened around the swollen flesh. She hissed in pain and grabbed his arm.

 

“My a-ankle,” she hiccuped a sob and he released her.

 

“Are you accusing me of being in an alliance with those fools?” McGonagall pinned him with a deadly look. “I should be asking you that question!”

 

“He's insinuating that either Sniderfield isn't who we think he is, or one of his understudies can't be trusted,” Hermione hissed and Snape gave her a perplexed look. 

 

He shook a thought from his head then glanced around the empty room. “I'm taking her to Spinner’s End, don't inform Sniderfield until I tell you to. After they're finished, pack up our things and come to us through the floo.”

 

“Wait a second-” Snape didn't acknowledge her and gestured for Penny to jump onto Hermione’s stomach, then he picked her up and awkwardly went through the floo network.

* * *

 

 

_ I guess this is his childhood room. _

 

Hermione sat up in the small double bed with her foot resting on a pillow. He'd applied a bruise salve to heal her purple foot, and her sprained wrist had been mended, yet it ached still when she flexed her fingers. 

 

She couldn't get herself to fall asleep; she felt something unexplainable in this house, and her knowledge of his past didn't help.  _ This house was never a home to him _ . The silence was getting to her as she glanced around the dark room; nothing could make this day any worse, perhaps tomorrow will be better for them both?

 

She moved her head towards the open door just as Penny slithered out of the darkness. The feline jumped onto the bed and curled up against her side like a dog.

 

“Shouldn't you be with your master?” Hermione kept her voice quiet.

 

**_“He’s sleeping, so I came to check on you,”_ ** she said.  **_“And as I thought, you're up and bored.”_ **

 

Hermione smiled. “I'm not a fan of this place...I know he doesn't like it here.”

 

**_“You should worry about yourself for now.”_ **

 

“How is it fair that he can worry about me, but I cannot offer him the same courtesy?” she raised a brow then reached out to scratch Penny’s head.

 

**_“He's a complicated man; unfortunately, it’s one of his many flaws,”_ ** Penny’s tail lightly tapped the quilt and it pulled them both into a comfortable silence.

 

_ I wonder if Snape would let me write to Harry and Ron?  _ A part of her wished to reconcile with them, and now seemed like a good enough time. _ I'm going to be stuck here for a while and he hates talking to me anyway...I want someone else to socialise with that isn't a cat. _

 

Suddenly, a loud moan came from another room, which turned into a whimper, then a scream. Hermione stopped stroking Penny's fur and threw back the quilt.  _ Is that Snape? He must be having a nightmare! _ The thought hurried her along and she ended up standing outside his bedroom door. 

 

She was a little unstable on her ankle but the throbbing pain didn't faze her much. Penny hugged her good leg and gave a slight nod of her head, so Hermione opened the door carefully.

 

Snape squirmed beneath his thin sheet with a layer of sweat soaking his body. A part of her pleaded to race to his side and ease his pain, but her logical side told her that would be the biggest mistake to make.

 

**_“We should leave him,”_ ** Penny whispered, and Hermione responded with a sad expression.  **_“He won't appreciate being woken up by you, and I don't mean that in a bad way.”_ **

 

She already knew that, but the sight of his tense face made her heart thud in her chest. _ I wish he was an easy man to understand… _

 

“Lily!” he cried out in pain causing Hermione’s blood to run cold. She had no reason to respond in such a way, and her mind didn't seem to want to communicate any sane moves. 

 

Hermione released a staggered breath then placed her hand on the door handle. Penny wandered out into the hall, and before Hermione could scream at herself to stop, she violently slammed the door shut behind her.

 

She heard Snape’s startled grunt. With a regretful look on her face, she limped back to her room and fell into a haunted sleep.

 


	11. Chapter Eleven

~Chapter 11~

 

Hermione’s eyes flew open and she gasped to contain her rapidly beating heart. Various nightmares had plagued her sleep, all of them frightful and too real. She sat up slowly and massaged her forehead. 

 

_ What a lovely way to start the day! _ She'd gone to bed in a sour mood, and now she felt even worse than before. She was too scared to face him today because it was painfully obvious that he knew she'd witnessed his nightmare.

 

_ I shouldn't have slammed the door...I'm so stupid! _ She buried her face in her hands and sighed. _ Everything's going to be OK; he won't mention what happened because it’s too personal. _ She knew now that he would never want to be friends with her.

 

It was then that she registered the shouting. 

 

Hermione quickly dressed and raced downstairs to see what the fuss was about. Her ankle caused her mild discomfort, and she reminded herself to put some more bruise salve on it later.

 

She made her way into the kitchen. McGonagall and Sniderfield were standing up, and Snape sat down with little interest towards the Head Auror as he continued to shout at him.

 

“--you honestly think that I would give those sadistic people your location?”

 

“I said you might be to blame,” Snape muttered. “It was hardly an accusation.”

 

“You annoying prat-”

 

“Hermione!” McGonagall cut him off and the other two turned to look at her. “Come and sit down.”

 

She did as she was told. Snape glanced away from her as she sat next to him, and she covered up her disappointment by grabbing the hot teapot to pour herself some tea. 

 

“We were just discussing your situation,” McGonagall said. 

 

“I wouldn't call what I heard discussing,” she saw Snape smirk behind his tea. “What's going on?”

 

“Snape thinks I turned you in,” Sniderfield sat down with a sigh. “I would never do such a thing.”

 

“I don't believe you did it, but I do think one of your understudies did,” she explained. “No one else had access to that information; I'd say that a little bribery would be enough to get them to talk.”

 

“They're good boys though.”

 

“Well you never truly know somebody,” she sipped her tea and ignored Snape's pointed stare.

 

“I think you should go under the protection of someone else,” Hermione stilled at McGonagall’s words.

 

“You still don't trust me,” Snape drawled. “Why am I not surprised?”

 

“Of course I don't trust you!” she snapped. “After everything you've done: the lies, the cruelty and every snide thing in between! You shouldn't be left alone with someone so young and impressionable!”

 

Hermione’s eyes widened at her horrible words and disgusting accusations. She couldn't take it anymore. “Impressionable? What the bloody hell do you think he's going to do to me? Because I really hope you're not implying that he is, in any way, like Malfoy!”

 

“Now, Hermione just listen to me-”

 

“Listen to you?! Every time I have a conversation with you, it ends up with you insulting the man who saved my life! He may not see it that way but I do. I can tell you, wholeheartedly, that I wouldn't have made it through this with someone else's help. Not yours, and not some pretentious therapist. I am happy being here with him, I feel safe under his protection, and if at any time he wishes to leave, he can. So, please, could you just stop insulting him, and me, every bloody minute!”

 

McGonagall stared back at her with a sheen to her eyes. She couldn't find it within herself to care that her words had hurt her feelings.  _ Snape never defends himself when she says those things, someone has to. _

 

Sniderfield cleared his throat. “I'll look into my understudies.”

 

No one responded to him. Hermione focused on her cooling cup of tea, while Snape continued to stare at everyone but her.  

 

“Well,” McGonagall sighed. “I guess we’ll leave you two be for a few days,” she gave Sniderfield a demanding look and they left through the fireplace in the other room. Snape slowly took a sip of his tea then placed it on the saucer with a loud clunk. Hermione followed his every move with caution on her face. _ What do I say now?  _ She felt ashamed of the way she acted towards him last night, but a part of her still felt unreasonable anger. 

 

Penny let out a loud hiss that startled her. She turned to see the black cat glaring at the back of her masters head; it occurred to her then that they were having a private, telepathic discussion.  _ I wonder what he said to upset her?  _

 

Hermione moved some of her hair from her face then cleared her throat. “Would I be able to write to Harry and Ron?”

 

He got to his feet abruptly. “No.” She watched him leave the kitchen and after a few gasped breaths, she chased after him.

 

“Sir!” he moved quickly up the stairs, and she reached him just as he slammed the door in her face. 

 

_ How childish! _

 

She lifted her hand to start knocking on the door but paused halfway. Ever so slowly, she lowered her fist and sighed. “I...I'm sorry for disturbing you last night,” this was easier to say since she didn't have to look at him. “It was just a nightmare and I should have left you alone...again, I'm sorry, but I can't keep living like this. Back at Hogwarts you were my rock...talking to you made my day and I'm grateful for it all. But, I'd rather have Sniderfield look after me-”

 

The door flung open to reveal a narrow-eyed professor. “Stop rambling.”

 

Her cheeks flooded with colour. “Sorry.” He raised a brow like she was forgetting something, then her eyes widened when she remembered. “It's hard to not apologise!”

 

“You haven't had breakfast yet,” he said. “Go downstairs and make something.”

 

“I wanted to talk to you.”

 

“I’m not letting you write to those simpletons-”

 

“That's not it!” she exclaimed with a wave of her hands. “I had a nightmare last night.”

 

“Have you been keeping a journal?” he stepped from the doorway and shut the door so he was out in the hall. 

 

She nodded. “I think you're right when you said it may be down to my emotions.”

 

“How did you feel before you went to bed?”

 

Her lips parted as she recalled why she'd fallen into a disturbed sleep. _ I cannot tell him that I was angry about him saying Lily's name. Bugger. _

 

“Worried,” she played with her fingers. “After the attack, I couldn't stop thinking about Malfoy.”

 

“Lucius Malfoy is only capable of so many things inside Azkaban, as long as Draco stays in custody you have nothing to worry about,” he explained, and she could hear the reassurance in his tone.

 

“It's easier said than done.”

 

He sighed. “Follow me.”

 

She trailed behind him as they moved down the hall and stopped outside a bolted door. He tapped the locks with his wand and they slid open to reveal a cosy library. Hermione ran into the room with a huge smile on her face and glanced around the book-covered walls.

 

“Oh...this place is amazing, sir,” she smiled at him and he responded with a quick nod of his head. 

 

“Quite a lot of these books are one of a kind, and extremely dangerous,” he explained. “However, I trust you.”

 

She paused her scanning eyes. _ He trusts me.  _ Her heart beat a little faster, but she shook the feeling off. “What shouldn't I touch with my bare hands?”

 

“The top two shelves.”

 

“OK,” she walked over to the left wall and ran her fingers along the middle row of books. Some of them wiggled beneath her touch, and others rippled with dark magic through her fingertips. “Why are you showing me this?”

 

“When I find time to come here, this is the place where I come to relax and clear my mind,” he took a seat in one of the armchairs that faced the fireplace. “I thought you might find a similar use for it.”

 

She smiled sheepishly at the bookshelf so he couldn't see. “I can work with this.”

* * *

 

 

Two days later, Hermione found herself laying on her front in Snape's private escape. Numerous books surrounded her, but her eyes were focused on the half-written letter to Harry. Snape hadn't agreed to anything yet; she needed to think of a different way to approach him with her wish.

 

The past two nights have been spent in one another's company in this room.  _ He sits in his armchair while I spread myself out in front of the fire.  _ She enjoyed their peaceful nights together, but she wished he would talk to her more.

 

_ I haven't had another nightmare, so that's a positive for now.  _ She tickled her nose with her quill, then chewed her bottom lip while she pondered on her words. _ I'm not sure what to say to Harry...I really need to see them both in person so we can move past this. _

 

Suddenly, she became aware of eyes on her. She carried on like normal but kept her mind focused on the shadow watching her from the doorway.  _ Why’s he staring at me?  _ She could practically feel his worry and curiosity.

 

_ Shall I take this opportunity to be nonchalant?  _ She mentally shook her head.  _ He'd avoid me forever if I teased him, and he hardly talks to me at all. _

 

“Miss Granger.”

 

She turned to look over her shoulder with an innocent smile. “Yes, sir.”

 

“You've got some visitors downstairs.”

 

Her eyes widened in realisation, and she scrambled to her feet with a wider smile. She raced over to meet him at the doorway and beamed up at him. “Harry and Ron?” he responded with a simple nod, and without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him quickly.

 

The moment was over in mere seconds and she ran downstairs to reunite with her friends. Harry and Ron stood in front of the fireplace looking to be nervous about being in their ex-professor’s home.

 

Harry noticed her first. “Hello,” he took a hesitant step forward, and when Hermione smiled, he walked over in a few strides and hugged her.

 

She relaxed into his body and nuzzled her face against his neck. Ron came over with an awkward smile on his face then Hermione moved from Harry’s arms to his.

 

They parted ways and she led them over to the small sofa. She could see their discomfort, but they looked happy to see her again.

 

“I'm glad you came to see me,” she said. “I was just writing a letter to you.”

 

“Actually, Snape invited us-” Harry hit Ron’s arm with a glare. 

 

“We’ve been worried about you,” Harry fixed his glasses with a sad smile. “There are so many things I want to ask you.”

 

Hermione sighed. “Can your questions wait, I had hoped to make things better between us. I miss you both very much.”

 

Harry took hold of her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “We’d like that.”

 

“Good,” she pushed some of her hair away from her face. “How’s life as a trainee Auror?” Ron scoffed immediately and Harry blushed a little. _ Why is he blushing?  _

 

“It’s a lot of work, I just wish dad wasn’t around to scrutinise me all the time,” Ron grumbled, and Harry’s coloured cheeks deepened.

 

“How about you Harry? I bet it’s hard being taught by someone you’re much more experienced than!”

 

“That’s exactly why he got under one of them,” Ron said.

 

Hermione’s mouth fell open while Harry glared daggers at his best friend. “It’s meant to be a secret, you bloody idiot!” Harry wailed.

 

“Under him?” Hermione blinked numerous times. “Harry Potter, if you think that you can work your way up to the top by sleeping with-”

 

“Calm down, ‘Mione,” Harry said sheepishly. “He’s a nice guy, we get along well.”

 

“What about Ginny?”

 

“Things ended between us at the start of the school year,” he explained. “I’ve been keeping my distance from her.”

 

Ron gave her a lingering look and it reminded her of the kiss they'd shared during the battle. We never discussed what had happened, and she wasn’t looking to rekindle that dying flame. _ I love Ron as a friend, plus, I don’t think I could be with anyone ever again, not after Malfoy. _

 

“I’m glad you’re happy,” she smiled. “What’s his name?” Harry bit his bottom lip and avoided eye contact. “Is it awkward when he teaches you?”

 

Ron chuckled deeply. “We never said he was our superior, he’s someone else's.”

 

She tried to think over all the Auror’s she knew personally.  _ I hardly know any, the only person who comes to mind is—  _

 

“Professor Sniderfield!” she yelled and her eyes lit up in fury. 

 

“He’s not really a professor,” Harry muttered as if it would make the revelation any better.

 

“That doesn’t matter, shame on you!” she hit his arm playfully, and he tried to cover his pink cheeks with his growing hair. “How did you find the time to see him? He spent most of his time at Hogwarts.”

 

Ron shrugged his shoulders. “Sniderfield does home visits.”

 

“Ron!” Harry snapped in embarrassment. “Could we stop talking about my love life and move onto something else?”

 

“Fine,” Ron laughed once more and dodged Harry’s fist. 

 

“How are you?” Harry asked shaking off the playful conversation.

 

She hadn’t prepared herself for this bit. Even though talking to Snape was hard, it was easier for her to tell him how she felt than her best friends. “I’m doing better day-by-day.”

 

“That’s good,” Harry said. “What’s it like living with Snape?”

 

“Normal.”

 

“Really?” Ron moved closer. “You can tell us the truth, he’s horrible, isn’t he?”

 

She shook her head. “No! I enjoy his company.”

 

“How?” Harry seemed confused by her answer.

 

“What do you mean how? I’ve found comfort in Professor Snape and he’s done everything in his power to help me and keep me safe. We were attacked yesterday morning and he protected me from harm.”

 

“Who attacked you?” Ron’s fingers curled around his knees.

 

“We suspect they were some of Lucius’ friends,” she explained. “He knows about his son being taken into custody, and he’s not happy at all. However, his power is limited since he’s locked up in Azkaban.”

 

“Can you trust him?” Ron asked.

 

“Of course I trust him!” she exclaimed. “Why is it so hard for you to comprehend that I can live alongside him?”

 

“I just never thought he would befriend one of his students,” Ron admitted with a sullen look on his face.

 

She sighed. “We aren’t friends,” her tone lowered as sadness flooded her face. _ I wish we were friends _ . “He doesn’t want that from me. Our relationship is strictly professional, and he’s doing his best to help me get through this.”

 

“Just as long as you're happy,” Harry said. “Can we write to you?”

 

She nodded. “I think it will be OK.”

 

“Good,” Harry moved closer and hugged her again. 

 

They sat around and talked for another ten minutes until they had to leave. Hermione stared at the flames with her arms folded and thought over their chat. _ I feel better now that I've seen them. _

 

She sensed eyes on her again and she turned around to look at Snape. Penny ran from behind him and Hermione bundled her up against her chest.

 

“Thank you, sir.”

 

He simply nodded his head in response, but curiosity still lingered in his eyes. “Would you like some dinner?”

 

“Yes please,” she scratched Penny's ears and moved into the kitchen. 

 

He moved around the kitchen without paying her any attention. Hermione watched him busy himself with preparing the food and she wondered what she could say to fill the silence between them. He suddenly stopped over the stove and his shoulders tensed.

 

“Miss Granger, I hope you know that I don't view this as just part of my job,” he said, and Hermione's eyes widened. “I'm here because you came to me, and I'm helping you because you mean more to me than just a student. I suppose you could say we're friends, although, a dysfunctional pair at the very least.”

 

A wetness fell from her eyes. She wiped away her tears quickly and smiled at his back. “I suppose we are.”

 

They spent the rest of the evening in a comfortable silence, and Hermione found herself wishing him a good night then falling into a dreamless sleep.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**_ Chapter 12 _ **

 

Hermione paced up and down the hall, gnawing on her bottom lip.  _ I have no idea how to approach him about a certain matter. _ Her sock-clad feet started to ache with her brisk movements down the carpet of the hall. She could hear him moving around in the kitchen, and he spoke occasionally — to which she assumed Penny was in there, since she doubted insanity would be upon him anytime soon. 

 

_ I’ve run out of the necessities to get me through my period. _ She was firm in her beliefs of only using Muggle products, which meant they needed to go and find a supermarket for her to browse.  _ I don’t have any money; it only makes me worry more that I’ll have to ask him to buy the things for me. _

 

She squeaked in frustration then made her way into the kitchen. Snape lounged at the table with a cup of tea in his hand, and Penny lay before him. He turned to regard her with passive eyes as he glanced over her form. “Have you quite finished pacing?”

 

“Oh,” she cringed at her forgetfulness of how alert he is to his surroundings. “I have.”

 

With a flustered sigh, she joined him at the table and poured herself some tea. “Good morning, Penny,” she reached out and stroked the feline, who purred in response and returned the common courtesy.

 

“Are you going to tell me what has bothered you so much?” he asked. “Another nightmare perhaps?”

 

“No!” she exclaimed. “Nothing like that...I just wanted to ask you if we could go shopping?”

 

“Certainly not.”

 

“Why not?!” her outburst didn’t faze him, and she found herself annoyed at his attitude. “I need to go shopping.”

 

“Tell me what you need, and I’ll purchase the items myself.”

 

“No, no I’m afraid I have to do the shopping,” she nervously played with her cup of tea. “I need to go into a Muggle supermarket.”

 

“What for?”

 

_ The nosy bugger. _

 

“Some female products.”

 

“If you think that’s going to stop me from asking-”

 

“I’m due on my period in a few days!” she snapped, and Penny let out a whine which could only be interpreted as a laugh. He seemed to brood over something, then he got to his feet with a cough.

 

“We’ll be leaving in an hour, so get yourself ready.”

 

Hermione ran out of the kitchen with flaming cheeks.  _ It’s a natural part of the female body, why is it so hard to talk about? Probably because it shouldn’t be up for discussion with my professor. _

 

She returned to her room and got changed into a red jumper and a black pair of jeans.  _ I wonder if he’ll change into normal clothes? _ The thought made her pause buttoning up her jeans.  _ Normal clothes _ . It excited her for some reason. 

 

Penny came prancing into the room with a sly look on her dark face. She jumped up onto the bed as Hermione moved over to the mirror to fix her hair.

 

**_“You’re blushing,”_ ** Penny stretched on the mattress.

 

“I’m not!” Hermione squeaked back. 

 

Sure enough, her cheeks reddened even more in response.  _ Why am I blushing?  _ She started to clean up the things on the dresser that the mirror was on. Her diary lay open and she slammed it shut then sealed it with a charm.

 

_ I’ve been doing better recently.  _ Nightmares were far and few; she couldn’t say the same for Snape, but the air between them had relaxed a lot more. 

 

Hermione finished fixing her environment, then walked over to scratch Penny behind the ears.

 

**_“Can I come in your bag?”_ ** she asked.

 

“Yes, but we may be there for a long time,” Hermione pulled her larger bag from under the bed, and started to make a comfortable nest for Penny to lounge in. 

 

A frustrated grumble came from down the hall, and Penny and Hermione followed the noise to Snape’s open door. He turned to face them with his arms crossed.

 

“Are you ready?” he drawled, and she noticed his familiar teaching robes.

 

“Yes…” she bit her bottom lip. “Perhaps you should change?”

 

His eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong with my attire, Miss Granger?”

 

“Nothing!” she exclaimed with a wave of her hands. “Well…do you have something more casual?”

 

“No,” he stepped out into the hall. “Let’s go.”

 

Hermione wasn’t sure where her confidence came from. A wicked smile spread out on her face, and she charged into his room and opened up the oak wardrobe.

 

“Miss Granger!” he bellowed. “Stop being so intrusive!”

 

She scanned the clothes that lined the wooden pole; it was obvious to her that none of them had been worn, she spotted a few with the tags still on. At the bottom, there was a pile of blankets, but underneath them, a blue shirt poked out.

 

“What about this?” she pulled it out and held it out to him.

 

Anger sparked in his eyes.  _ Oh...bloody hell, think Hermione! _ She suddenly remembered that his deceased father had once lived in this house.  _ His abusive father. _

 

“I-I…” she lowered her arm. “I’m sorry, sir.”

 

“Stop apologising,” he snatched the item from her hand. “I’m capable of dressing myself, Miss Granger.”

 

A blush flooded her cheeks and she returned to her room. Ten minutes later, Hermione waited downstairs with Penny’s head sticking out of her bag. She had a bag of cat treats for her, so she kept teasing the feline until she swiped at her hand with her claws.

 

Professor Snape came downstairs and she found herself stunned by his appearance. He wore a pair of jeans with the blue shirt she’d picked out for him. He scowled at the look on her face.

 

“If you so much as breathe about this to anyone, I will end you.”

 

She held up her hands in defence. “I’ll take it to my grave, sir.”

 

“Good.”

* * *

 

 

Venturing out into the Muggle world with her potions professor/temporary carer, wasn’t as bad as she expected. That was until they went inside the supermarket.

 

Hermione saw the moment he started to feel uncomfortable. Too many people rushed around him and it put him on edge. She wished to reach out and comfort him in some way, but knew that it would only further his discomfort. 

 

They parted ways immediately, and he wandered off to browse the shelves, leaving her to search for the things she needed. Penny purred in her bag and she quickly shushed her. A few people gave her an odd look, then she quickly rushed off to get her things.

 

The green basket handle dug into her arm as she crouched down to reach the bottom shelf. She carefully put her bag on the floor and shushed Penny again.

 

“Do you need some help?” Hermione glanced up at the boy around her age. He wore the burgundy uniform associated with the supermarket, and bore a huge smile as he looked down at her.

 

“N-No!” she exclaimed, and her cheeks started to redden. As she moved to stand up, he held out his hand to help her. She placed her shaking hand in his and stood up straight.

 

_ I don’t feel anything...that’s an excellent thing! _ The idea that she was beyond the point of being repulsed by a random person’s touch excited her.  _ I have to tell Snape! _ A smile grew on her face and she pulled her hand away from him.

 

He opened his mouth to say something, but a call came through the tannoy for someone to get to the checkouts.

 

“I best go,” he looked sad. “It was nice meeting you.”

 

Hermione watched him walk off with an airy feeling resting in her chest. She gathered the things she needed and headed towards the checkouts. Professor Snape stood nearby, looking more annoyed by the second.

 

“I’m all ready, sir.”

 

“Good,” he grunted, and they got in the queue for the checkout. As they got closer, she spotted the young boy from before behind the till. She placed her things on the conveyor belt and waited to be served.

“Hello again!” he greeted after he waved goodbye to his previous customer.

 

“Hi,” she replied sheepishly. 

 

Eyes. Burning eyes stung her skin. She didn’t turn to regard Snape, but sensed his brewing anger.

 

“I know this must be awkward in front of your dad, but I was wondering if I could get your number?”

 

It was like someone had poured a bucket of cold water over her. She scrunched up her face in annoyance.  _ How dare he insult Snape like that? Well, it’s true by Muggle standards that he could have a daughter my age...however, one shouldn’t just assume! _

 

With a tilt of her head, Hermione acted without thinking. She slid her arm around Snape’s waist and leant against his body. He went stiff beneath her touch and his eyes went wide in surprise.

 

“Would you like to get something to eat after this, babe?” she asked, and his black eyes narrowed but he responded with a nod. “How much is it?”

 

“Erm…” the cashier shook his head. “That’ll be six pounds.”

 

She moved away from Snape so he could pay. They hurried from the supermarket, and as they crossed the car park, Snape decided to speak.

 

“Miss Granger—“

 

“Let’s just not talk about it, ever again!”

 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter 13**

 

Snow fell outside the open window as Hermione sat on the ottoman below. Penny lounged on her lap and purred beneath Hermione’s strokes.  _ It’s been two weeks since our trip to the supermarket...two weeks of silence.  _ Just as she thought they were getting somewhere, she messed things up.

 

Penny let out a pained scream and Hermione jumped in surprise.  **_“Stop pulling on my fur!”_ **

 

“Sorry,” she squealed and bundled her against her chest. “I was deep in thought.”

 

**_“What’s wrong?”_ **

 

“He’s not talking to me.”

 

Penny stretched out on her lap then stuck her head out the open window.  **_“He’s a complex man.”_ **

 

“I just want to be his friend,” she said. “It gets lonely being on my own all the time; I find his company to be rather enjoyable.”

 

Penny turned to look up at her. **_“Perhaps he feels the same way, but he thinks that you only want to be friends with him because you have to be in his company.”_ **

 

Hermione let out a frustrated sigh. “Of course he thinks that!”

 

**_“I never said it was definite.”_ **

 

“You’re implying that he might, which means that he’s told you and you’re discreetly trying to tell me,” Hermione crossed her arms. “There’s a fine line between a complex man and a man with no self-confidence.”

 

**_“How about you try talking to him?”_ **

 

“I-I can’t.”

 

**_“Why? Because you have no self-confidence?”_ ** Hermione narrowed her eyes at the correct feline, then focused her mind on something else. 

 

It scared her that Christmas would soon be upon them. She wasn’t fussed if she had to spend it with Professor Snape, but she wanted it to be a happy time for them both.  _ I can’t get him a present, so we should find something else to do, together. _

 

She hoped that they wouldn’t be at Spinner’s End by Christmas, but it seemed unlikely that she’d be safe anytime soon. He doesn’t talk to her about anything. A part of her was grateful that he’d kept her sheltered and helped her progress, yet she hated how close-lipped he was about Malfoy.

 

_ Is he still in custody? Has Lucius planned another attack from Azkaban? So many questions! _

 

The only way she could see herself improving, more than she already has, is back in Hogwarts. She missed going on their early morning walks, enjoying the silence and his company. She wanted to go back to meeting him in the potions room for their daily catch-up. He brought her more comfort from behind his desk.

 

_ I want to be back in time for the Valentine’s Day Festival. I wonder what ideas Richard has come up with? _ Even though she had no interest in love, she still wanted a project to sink her teeth in to.

 

There were many things she missed: being surrounded by friends, family and having freedom to roam.  _ Perhaps when we return to Hogwarts, Professor Snape and I can become proper friends. _ In her mind, she had plans of more walks, longer chats and gifting presents on special days. 

 

The library door opened and she turned to see Snape holding some letters. Her face lit up with joy and she raced over to him. “For me?”

 

He handed them to her with a nod. “From your friends.”

 

As she took them from him, her fingers brushed against his. Something inside of her tingled and she gave him a funny look; he carried on as normal, and she watched him sit down.  _ He looks bored.  _

 

She sat in front of the fire and started to open up her letters. Ron and Harry wrote about their adventures together, but she noticed how they didn’t mention work. Whether they thought to save her the boring facts, she still found it odd.

 

“Professor?”

 

He looked up from his book. “Yes?”

 

“Will we be back at Hogwarts by Valentine’s Day?” his face tensed up.  _ Is it because I want to go back? _

 

“I’m not sure,” he drawled. 

 

She felt like he was deceiving her in some way, and a pain stabbed at her chest.  _ He’s lying to me. _ Deep down she knew that he owed her nothing, but she still wanted them to talk about these things. 

 

“OK…what about the case?”

 

He studied his book. “Nothing.”

 

_ He’s definitely lying now. _ When had he become so easy to read? Usually, his face rested in his passive nature, but for some reason, the lines of his face had softened revealing too much of his emotions.

 

Hermione debated whether to call him out on his deceit.  _ I could, but that will only increase the distance between us already.  _

 

**_“He’s lying,”_ ** Penny strolled over to her. **_“For your safety.”_ **

 

_ I don’t need to be sheltered _ , she complained internally. However, she managed to smile his way, only to find his interest was elsewhere.  _ Notice me! _

 

Her eyes narrowed and she returned to scanning her letters. 

 

By the time midday came, Snape hadn’t uttered another word to her. She was torn between crying and shouting at him.  _ I wonder what he’s lying about? _ There was the option to confront him about it, but she couldn’t stand confrontation with him.  _ He always wins. _

 

* * *

 

_ Dear Harry, _

 

_ I’ll get straight to addressing your concerns — I feel safe with Professor Snape, no he hasn’t been mean to me and, yes, I still enjoy his company. _

 

_ Now that we’ve got that out of the way, how about you tell me about work? What’s it like training to be an Auror? Is it exactly how you thought it would be? I wish I could see you again; I have many questions about your relationship with Sniderfield — what’s his real name by the way? He’s still a professor in my mind! _

 

_ Love, _

_ Hermione. _

 

She mused over what to write in reply to Ron’s vague letter. He also avoided the topic of work, and it made her concern deepen.  _ They’re hiding something from me _ . She scratched the side of her head and glanced out at the night sky. 

 

They’d settled into an awkward dinner around an hour ago — as sublime as it had been  — with thick tension in the air. Penny seemed to know something else was going on, and Snape didn’t sense a thing wrong with her.  _ He’s ignoring me, and refusing my friendship. _

 

The troublesome man kept his passive mask on and avoided all eye contact with her. It’s not like she wants them to plait each other’s hair and talk about their feelings.  _ He could at least throw me a bone.  _

 

Professor Snape walked into his library with a sour look on his face. Hermione perked up at the sight.  _ It must mean he has news _ . She watched from the window seat as he sat in his armchair — without a single look her way — and opened his book.

 

Her eyes narrowed. “Is everything OK, sir?”

 

“Perfectly well,” he wasn’t even trying to hide that there was something wrong. 

 

“Any news?”

 

“I said I’d inform you, stop worrying.”

 

“That’s easy for you to say,” she muttered, and returned to writing Ron’s letter. This time she felt his eyes on her, scolding her.

 

“Problem?” he drawled.

 

She shook her head. “I’m perfectly well,” she mimicked his previous words, and that seemed to get a reaction from him.

 

“I thought we agreed that you’d come to me after you had a nightmare.”

 

“I thought we agreed to be friends,” she clamped her mouth shut and scolded herself.  _ Stop letting your mouth run away without you in front of it! _

 

His book shut with a thud. “Is that the reason for your bad attitude?”

 

“Attitude?” she sighed. “I’m just tired; it’s rather boring around here.”

 

“I apologise for boring you so much.”

 

She glared at him. “I never said that, sir.”

 

He gave her a dry look. “What can I do to perk you up?” he asked sarcastically.

 

“I miss Crookshanks,” she said seriously.

 

His mocking gaze faltered. “Your feline?”

 

“I know he has to stay at Hogwarts so people think I’m still around, but I miss him a lot.”

 

“I will ask the Headmistress about getting him back,” he returned to his book, but she could still see that something was bothering him. He gave up on his nagging thoughts then slammed his book shut again. “How are your thoughts?

 

“What do you mean?”

 

He cleared his throat. “Have you recalled that night yet?”

 

“N-No,” she stammered. “I’ve pushed the memory to the back of my mind; I refuse to go near it.”

 

“Perhaps that’s a bad idea.”

 

“What?” her heart felt heavy in her chest.  _ Please don’t ask me what I think you’re going to ask me! _

 

“To deal with scarred memories such as that, one should revisit it so they can get used to it if something triggers it again,” he tapped his fingers against the arm of the chair. “I’ve had experience with it before, and I must say that the method is effective. I can help you.”

 

She shook her head frantically, pushing the letters from her lap. “N-No!”

 

“Miss Granger, I mean no offence-”

 

“No!” she screamed, and all of sudden, she could see only Malfoy.

 

Her body tumbled from the window seat and her instincts told her to curl up in a ball. She repeated “no” over and over again. He was right, she was never going to be able to cope with anything that triggers the memory.

 

A hand touched her shoulder cautiously, and her screams increased as a pain scorched her skin. 

 

_ “Calmessà!” _

 

Hermione’s body went lax. Her body uncurled itself and the hand on her shoulder no longer burnt. She reached out to grab his hand and he helped her sit up and lean against the wall. She brushed her hair from her face and glanced around the room.

 

“Take some deep breaths,” his hand left her shoulder and she realised he had his wand in his other hand.

 

“W-What was that?”

 

“A calming spell,” he grunted. “Take a moment for your body to adjust.”

 

“I-I guess I’m not OK.”

 

“That doesn’t matter right now; I shouldn’t have brought it up,” he got to his feet and cleaned up the letters she’d tossed everywhere. Hermione watched him through sore eyes.

 

_ He’s secretly a nice man. _

 

Penny walked into the room and Snape looked at her for a few moments — clearly talking to her — and Penny raced over to Hermione and curled up in her lap. They stayed in silence for a while until Hermione’s calm state caused her mouth to run away without her again.

 

“I miss everyone,” he paused at the window sill. “Crookshanks, my friends...my parents. Yet, I don’t want them here with me, because I know how differently they’ll treat me. I don’t suppose Harry and Ron have ever dealt with me in such a sensitive state...Ginny and Luna would want to coddle me. My parents — well, they’d never look at me the same way again. I think being here with you is the best thing that could’ve happened to me.”

 

“Not being raped would’ve been the better thing.”

 

Hermione gasped and stared up at him with tears in her eyes. She quickly pushed Penny from her lap and ran out of the room.

* * *

 

 

Her night had been plagued by terrifying nightmares. All of them about a darkness with arms reaching out to grab her. She called for Professor Snape, but he never came to her rescue.  _ Perhaps I have to save myself. _

 

Paws prodded at her chest and she rubbed her eyes with a smile. “Penny, I’m still trying to sleep.”

 

She slowly opened her eyes, then gasped when she saw a ginger ball of fur on her chest. She let out a squeak of surprise and sat up in her bed. Crookshanks let out a wail of fright, but relaxed as his mistress bundled him up in her arms.

 

“Crooks!” she kissed his fur with a wide smile on her face. 

 

A black mass appeared in the doorway. “Breakfast is ready.” She watched him leave, then quickly got changed and headed downstairs, feeling a lot better about the events of the previous night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They'll be a glimpse into Snape's POV in the next chapter -- thank you for the lovely comments!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter 14:**

 

Severus watched the ginger cat prance around his childhood home as if he owned the place. It was getting close to seven o’clock in the morning, and he was yet to get any sleep. Persuading Minerva to let the cat return with him had been a difficult task, which meant Severus had to remind her how idiotic her plan was.  _ Granger’s classmates have known of her absence since she stopped turning up to her lessons, deviating from her normal routine. _

 

She’d long stopped being Miss Granger in his mind, but he could never say her first name in his head.  _ This is already too weird for me.  _ To this very day, he cannot figure out why it upset her when he rejected her friendship; he understood what it was like to be lonely, but they were around another all the time so she was hardly alone. 

 

_ If we’re friends, then I guess I have to tell her the truth. _ He wasn’t lying to hurt her feelings, he wished to protect her from the unfortunate truth. He’s known for two weeks that Draco was released to Malfoy Manor and put under house arrest.  _ The bloody bastard!  _ He deserved to have his neck wrung, not lounge in the luxuries of his namesakes home. 

 

Vic Sniderfield provided him with the dreadful news, and his assurances that he had it all handled didn’t ease his anger. The man was in too deep, and he had enough going on since he would rather be balls-deep in Harry-bloody-Potter. Severus wanted to gouge his own eyes out to rid himself of the scene he’d walked in on.  _ I will never be able to forget the sight of the pair going at it on Sniderfield’s desk.  _

 

Severus moved around the kitchen preparing breakfast. He’d noticed about a week ago that her eating habits were bad.  _ She hardly fills up her plate, so she needs to eat more under my discreet supervision.  _

 

**_“You’re being too loud,”_ ** Penny sauntered into the room. 

 

“How so?” he muttered back, just as he slammed some of the pots together. “Do you have to be so smug?”

 

**_“I’m just stating the obvious, master.”_ **

 

“Stop calling me that,” he grumbled. “I’m not your Master.”

 

**_“Yet, somehow you are.”_ **

 

He carried on making breakfast, choosing to ignore her.

 

**_“Are you going to be kind to her today?”_ ** she asked and he glanced back at her.

 

“I’m always nice,” the words tasted sour on his tongue. 

 

**_“Are you going to tell her the truth?”_ **

 

“I will, eventually,” he said. “She claims to be getting better, but I can see her slowly getting worse.”

 

**_“Then talk to her about it,”_ ** she jumped up onto the counter.  **_“You’re friends after all.”_ **

 

_ Friends...since when do friends deliver bad news that could push their friend over the edge?  _ There was something about her that made him feel uncomfortable, and crossing the boundary between their teacher-student relationship was difficult enough for him. 

 

“Severus?” his back straightened at the sound of Vic’s voice. 

 

“I’m in the kitchen.”

 

Severus leant against the counter and watched as a solemn-faced Sniderfield sat down at the table. His heart felt heavy in his chest; he could only be bringing bad news with an expression like that.

 

Vic buried his face in his hand, then violently pounded the table with his fists. Severus worried about Granger waking up, so he quickly made some tea so he could put his hands to better use. 

 

“Thank you,” Vic said with a sigh. “I’m...sorry, Severus, I couldn’t stop it from happening.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“There’s be an uprising within the Ministry. Kingsley is no longer Minister, and his replacement is someone called David Cole. The rest of the parliament has been overthrown and replaced with people I’ve never heard of. The first thing Minister Cole has decided to do as Minister is dismiss Draco’s case.”

 

Severus grunted in response and started to pace around the kitchen. His fingers curled into fists, then without thinking, he slammed his hand down onto the empty teacup. It shattered beneath his palm and a whine of pain escaped his lips.

 

**_“Smart move,”_ ** Penny muttered with a tap of her tail.

 

He stared at his bloody hand in anger. What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Tell her that the government didn’t give a damn about her wellbeing?  _ It’s clear that something evil has taken over the Ministry, and I’m not sure who I can trust around Granger.   _

 

Vic appeared at his side and waved his wand to fix his hand. The shattered cup couldn’t be salvaged, but nothing had sentimental value in his house so it didn’t matter to him. They returned to the table and Severus tapped an irregular rhythm on the wood.

 

“I’ve told Harry to not come into work at the moment,” Vic explained. “I’m guessing these people are distant followers of Voldemort; it will be harder to pin on them if that’s true because they kept away from any involvement in the war.”

 

“Lucius is behind this-”

 

“That’s the other thing,” he rubbed his tired eyes. “The second thing Minister Cole did was release certain people from Azkaban, including Lucius Malfoy.”

 

Severus closed his eyes for a few seconds to compose his boiling anger. He needed to talk to Minerva about what to do with Granger, because Lucius has made it clear that she’s on his hit-list.  _ The sod knows where I live, so I need to take her somewhere else _ . He glanced at the kitchen door.  _ I shouldn’t wake her up to such bad news. _

 

“I’m going to inform Minerva about the situation and see what she has to say,” Severus could see he was exhausted. “The world just became a lot more unstable once again,” he got to his feet with a sigh. “Tell her what’s going on, Severus, hiding it from her will only make things worse.”

 

Severus glared at him as he left, then returned to making breakfast. A million things rushed through his mind as he tried to accumulate a plan.  _ Where will she be safe? _ The end of the war was meant to signal peace, not trigger another uprising.

 

He cleared up the evidence of his company and placed the cooked breakfast on the table. The ginger cat had left a long time ago to seek out his mistress, and he eventually heard Granger scream Crookshank’s name so he made his way upstairs.

 

The sight of her disheveled self in bed had taken time for him to grow accustomed too, and it still took him off guard sometimes. He felt bad for upsetting her last night, but he knew the truth could be hard to handle — he’d had his fair share of brutally honest truths.

 

“Breakfast is ready,” he walked back downstairs, and moments later she arrived in the kitchen snuggling her cat.

 

**_“I’m almost jealous,”_ ** Penny jumped onto the table, and Severus rolled his eyes. He watched her pick at the food on her plate with a sigh.  _ I have to tell her. _

 

“Miss Granger?” she looked at him with an innocent look on her face. Her calm expression caused an odd tightness to lace around his heart, and he realised he couldn’t break the news to her. “How did you sleep last night?”

 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Description of self-harm and suicidal thoughts.

**Chapter 15**

 

A day later, Hermione found herself enjoying the warmth of the fire in Snape’s private abode. Winter was at its peak and light snowflakes fell against the window.  _ Christmas will be here soon, and I still don’t know how I feel about spending it with Snape _ . Fortunately, his attitude towards her has been different since yesterday.  _ He talks more softly and I keep catching him watching me. _

With that being said, he was still abrasive and passive.  _ Just how he should be; I don’t think I’d have him any other way.  _ Hermione smiled to herself, then returned to writing her letters to Harry and Ron. She’d received brief responses to her previous letters this morning and she wanted to know what was wrong. They still didn’t mention work; it was sweet that they cared so much about her well-being, but she still wanted to know about theirs.  _ Harry won’t even tell me Sniderfield’s name or anything about him. Something’s going on. _

She was feeling more on edge today, but it may be down to Professor Snape’s departure. He told her that he wouldn’t be more than an hour, and that the floo was blocked off as always — but he’d kept it open to allow her to go to the Headmistress’ office if need be.

Penny wandered into the room with her tail waving in the air.  **_“How are you feeling?”_ **

“Good,” she sat up straight and sorted out her letters. “I’m replying to Harry and Ron.”

**_“Anything new?”_ **

She shook her head with a frown. “I think they’re hiding something from me,” Crookshanks came into the room next and Hermione smiled with joy.

She hadn’t had the chance to thank Snape for bringing him back, but a part of her knew that he wasn’t doing it for her to thank him.  _ I suppose he’s doing what he can to make this difficult time easier. _

**_“They might have a lot going on?”_ ** Penny offered.

“Might? You say that as if you know something.”

_ Is she lying to me? _ The thought made her heart sink.  _ If she’s lying to me then that means Snape is as well. _

**_“I’m just a cat.”_ **

“Who can talk,” Hermione reminded her.

Penny carried on as if she hadn’t heard her.  _ Something’s definitely going on; I’m not an invalid, why can’t they tell me? _ This was her problem after all! The rape happened to her!  

The sound of a throat clearing caught her attention, and a startled breath escaped her lips. Professor Snape stood in the doorway. However, the gasp was caused because of the blonde haired girl next to him.

“Luna?” Hermione got to her feet with a confused smile.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Snape muttered, and shut the door behind him. She wanted to call out to him, thankfully she saved herself from any embarrassment.

“Hello,” Luna didn’t move to hug her, to which she was grateful and angry over —  _ it means they’ve told her what happened. _

“I’m happy to see you,” Hermione said. “But, what are you doing here?” She took a seat on the sofa and Luna joined her.

“The Headmistress thought you could use some female company,” she explained in her airy voice. “I found it odd that she kept specifying that you needed female company.”

_ Go figure _ . Hermione respected McGonagall, but the woman needed to stop being so negative towards Snape.  _ What’s wrong with me having male company? Would she be this way if it was Harry or Ron looking after me? I think not! _

“D-Did they tell you?” She stared at her hands.

“Yes,” Luna sighed. “Who’s this cutie?”

Hermione looked up to see she was smiling at Penny. “That’s Professor Snape’s familiar.”

“Really?” She stuck out her hand and made a tutting noise at her.

“She can talk, but only to me and Snape,” Hermione’s eyebrows furrowed. “However, I never did find out why I can hear her. Well, I’ve never heard the proper reason.”

Penny immediately fled the room. “And I guess you’ll never know,” Luna laughed. “I hear you stayed somewhere else before this?”

Hermione nodded. “But, there’s a mole in the Ministry, and our location was leaked. They ambushed us there, and one of them almost killed Professor Snape.”

“Is he OK now?”

“Of course,” a small smile grew on her face. “I saved him.”

“So, are you keeping in contact with Harry and Ron?”

Hermione was glad that she wasn’t scrutinising who she was living with.  _ Having someone else to talk to might be good for me, but I don’t want that person to be mocking Snape, like Harry and Ron do. _

“Yes,” she moved to grab her letters. “However, they’re being very brief with me, and are avoiding my questions.”

“Can I have a look?” Hermione handed her the letters. Luna read them over with a chuckle, then smiled up at her. “Harry’s with Professor Sniderfield?”

“Apparently so,” Hermione rested her head on the back of the sofa. “He won’t even tell me his name or how his work is going.”

“That is very odd,” she bit her bottom lip. “Perhaps he just wants you to get better?”

“Thank you, Luna.”

In a way, Hermione was glad that it wasn’t Ginny who Snape brought back. She still counted the girl as a friend, but her fierce personality would be of no help to her. Luna on the other hand, spoke in a soft tone of voice and never raised her tone above a certain level.  _ She’s calming to have around. _

“I’m glad I now know why you shut us all out,” Luna pushed some of her hair from her face. “I know we weren’t the closest of friends, but I felt like we were getting somewhere. I noticed things changed after the Halloween Ball.”

Something inside Hermione cried out in agony.  _ She wants to talk about it. Snape’s right, I’m never going to be able to talk about it without picturing what happened _ . She saw it, as clear as day, his long body towering over her: the grunts in her ear that whispered her name. It all came rushing back, hitting her right in the chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

A whimper tore from her lips. “No,” her bottom lip quivered. “Not at all, not even a little bit.”

Luna reached out and put her hand on Hermione’s shoulder. She turned to look at her with tears falling from her eyes — all she could see was Malfoy. She was grateful for Luna’s company, but to her surprise, she only wanted Professor Snape.

A part of her knew it was wrong to yearn for him whilst being in an emotional state, yet she couldn’t think of anyone else she’d rather have around her. Luna flashed her an innocent smile.

“I enjoyed seeing you again,” she said. “Perhaps I can come back another time?”

Hermione quickly nodded her head and wiped away her tears. “I’d like that.”

"I’ll see you soon then,” Hermione watched Luna leave with a blank look on her face.

Something haunting had taken over her body. She could feel her muscles tightening, and her mind slowly drifted away into nothingness. She couldn’t think of anything positive.  _ He raped me, _ was all she could think about.

She wasn’t sure how long she stared at the open door, but after her eyes grew dry and sore, she got to her feet and dragged herself from the room. She narrowly avoided Professor Snape, but she didn’t stop to talk to him.

_ What’s the point anymore? Malfoy raped me. _

Hermione locked her bedroom door behind her and sat down on the bed. She pulled her wand from her boot, admiring its power. It would be easy to end it all with a single cutting spell. She fiddled with the powerful stick as her face grew more passive.

She couldn’t help but feel that everyone would be better off with her dead. Harry and Ron wouldn’t have to keep lying to her, and Professor Snape could move on with his life. He never wanted to be her friend; she’d practically forced the idea down his throat until he caved in, and she knew that it was a horrid thing to do.

_ I’m a terrible person. _

Hermione got to her twitching knees and opened up her bedroom door. She glanced down the empty hall.  _ I should take a bath _ . She opened up the bathroom door and locked it behind her.

It didn’t take long for her to submerge herself in the tub while idly spinning her wand between her fingers.  _ I’m a burden to everyone around me — I’m better off dead. _

She’d heard of out of body experiences before, never did she think it would happen to her. All control of her body seemed to have been handed over to somebody else, and all she could do was watch on as her mind and body broke down.

If she’d listened carefully, she would’ve heard the scratching of Penny at the bathroom door. If her mind had been clear, she would’ve been able to hear the panicked tone in her voice as she said her name.

Hermione tapped her wand against her lips and pondered on a thought. She took in a few staggered breaths, then violently moved her wand hand in a sharp direction; it caused a deep slash to slice open her wrist, and she quickly switched hands and repeated the action on the other.

And so she watched.

Her body felt heavy, but no longer tense. She imagined this is what it felt like when air left a balloon. Blood tainted the clear water, yet she still watched without moving. Her skin turned pale in the frigid water and all the noise in her head seized.

Silence.

She could feel her eyes becoming heavy, so she allowed herself to close them while she floated in her blood.

A sigh escaped her lips.

Her body tried to grasp onto consciousness, but ever so slowly she drifted away from it. Not once did she hear the deep rumble of her name or the pounding fist on the bathroom door. However, she did hear the sound of wood being blown into a million pieces, and someone cry out her name before she allowed herself to be taken into the darkness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay -- I'll be posting continuously from this point on so it's officially caught up with where I am right now! Thank you for everyone's lovely comments :)


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Chapter 16**

 

She felt at peace.

The imaginary birds were chirping and she could practically hear the sing-song of the wind racing through the trees. Her body felt light, but in the nicest way possible. Her heavy eyelids fluttered open as she sat up in her comfy bed.

Crookshanks and Penny slept peacefully at the foot of her bed. She smiled blissfully at the sight of the felines nuzzled together amidst slumber. She wanted to reach out and pet them both, but thought better of it when the pair purred in their sleep.

She moved to click her neck when her eyes caught on to a black mass in a chair. Her brow furrowed in confusion at the sight of her professor sleeping at her bedside. Her eyes grew to the size of saucers when she spotted the blood that stained his white shirt. The black parts of his clothing were scattered around the room, leaving him with his bloody sleeves rolled up to reveal more dried blood.

Suddenly, a searing hot pain exploded in her wrists. She let out a strangled cry as she stared down at her bandaged wrists. There was no blood on her, but she could feel that her skin had been rubbed raw. The bedding beneath her was pristine, however the rest of her room looked like a tornado had hit it.

Her clothes were scattered around and she thankfully realised that she was clothed — not well though. There was an empty chair next to Snape, but she couldn’t hear anyone else in the house.

Her fleeting thoughts decided to come rushing back to her. She cried out in agony at the realisation of what she’d done, and her pained cries startled everyone in the room. Professor Snape shot up with his wand drawn, then his eyes soon adjusted to his surroundings.

Hermione violently threw the blanket off her body and buried her fingers in her hair. Her sobs shook her body as she tried to come to terms with what had happened.

“Drink this-“

“No!” she cried and grabbed hold of his arm and threw herself against his chest. He awkwardly fell onto the bed, then his arms found their way around her body. He didn’t say anything to her; he allowed her to sob relentlessly into his chest without telling her that it made him feel uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry!” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry!”

An arm left her body, then she felt a phial nudge against her lips. She swallowed the offered potion, but choked on its contents as another sob took over her body. She nuzzled her face against his bloody shirt, not caring that her tears and — dare she say it — snot, seeped into his clothes.

They stayed that way for a while, until Hermione felt the calming potion flood her body. Her sobs turned into hiccups and her tears started to dry. Her grip didn’t ease around Snape’s body, but she finally stopped nuzzling his chest like a kitten.  

A deep rumble emanated from his chest, and she responded with a tight squeeze; it brought her comfort and warmth as she clung to him like he was her source of oxygen. “Miss Granger?”

She whimpered in response.

“You need food and drink,” he said. “I’m going to go downstairs to make you a sandwich-“

“P-Please don’t leave me,” her tears started to burn her eyes once more.

“I was about to ask if you wanted to join me? Let’s see if you can stand first,” he gently pushed her back by her shoulders and held out his hand. She put her clammy hand in his rough one, and let him pull her to her feet. The hot pain pinched at her wrist making her wince in response.

Nothing in her mind made sense.  _ Why did I do such a silly thing? I suppose it wasn’t silly to me at the time… _

Her air-dried hair itched her scalp and she knew that Professor Snape had let it dry naturally.  _ I bet I look awful. _

“Come along now,” he tried to let go of her hand but she held it tighter. “Let’s go then,” he led her from the room.

Dizziness swirled around in her head and she stumbled into his side. He asked about her wellbeing and she muttered back that she was fine. She felt in need of a vicious cleansing bath, but she doubted Snape would allow her such a thing unsupervised.

It took them a long time to make it down the stairs, but Snape didn’t complain — he also didn’t look her in the eyes.  _ I’ve angered him...I’m so stupid! _

He led her over to the table and she reluctantly let go of his hand. He grabbed the ingredients for a sandwich and sat opposite her while he made it. Soon enough, a nice sandwich and some water appeared before her and she tried her best to flash him a grateful smile.

“Eat,” he said roughly. “We’ll talk afterwards.”

The idea terrified her, but she obediently nodded her head and took a bite of her sandwich. Her eyes kept dropping to the bandages around her wrists, and she started to wonder if the scarring was bad.

“Focus on eating,” she glanced his way and did as she was told.

The lines on his face seemed deeper, and guilt soon flooded her veins.  _ I’ve stressed him out more — he didn’t sign up for this!  _ She stared at her plate blankly until the sound of someone coming through the fireplace caused Snape to abruptly get to his feet.

_ Harry! _

She heard the loud shout of her name, but Snape reached him before he could walk into the kitchen. “Leave, now!”

“You don’t get to order me around-“

“This is my house, Potter!” he spat, and Hermione got to her feet and walked closer to the door so she could listen better.

“Let me see her!”

“Not now,” Snape growled. “She’s only just woke up; she’s hardly had a chance to adjust to things, leave it be for now.”

“How can you say that?” Harry yelled. “She tried to kill herself!”

Hermione slid down the kitchen wall and brought her knees to her chest. She pressed her forehead to her kneecaps and bit on her trembling lip.

“Really? That’s news to me!” Snape shouted back sarcastically. “Are you forgetting that I was the one that found her? That I was the one that healed her? Or, how about that I was the one who stayed by her bedside to be there when she woke up? Please, Potter, I’m not blind, I know exactly what happened to her, and the last thing she needs is you interrogating her.”

“I’m seeing her-“

Hermione scrambled to her feet and ran out into the living room. “Just go!” she yelled. “I don’t want you here!”

“‘Mione-“

“I said go!” she tried to run over and push him towards the fireplace, but Snape stepped in her path.

“Potter, do as she says.”

Harry looked on in shock, then after a few moments of contemplation, he left. Her chest heaved for oxygen and she rubbed her forehead with a shaking hand.

“Sit down-“

“No!”

“Miss Granger—Hermione, sit down!” She was guided backwards until her calves hit the sofa and she sat down. “Take some deep breaths.”

Hermione buried her face in her hands and followed his instructions. His hands stayed on her shoulders and she did her best to not focus on what it meant —  _ nothing, it means nothing! _

“Sorry…” she muttered. “My heads all messed up.”

“That’s understandable,” his hands slid from her shoulders.

“Was Harry here before?”

He shook his head. “Vic must’ve told him, since I floo-called him for assistance.”

“Vic?”

“Sniderfield.”

“Oh,” she wiped away her tears, then openly stared at her covered wrists. “I did a bad thing.”

Snape sighed. “You did...I’m not sure what to say, Miss Granger-“

“Call me Hermione, please.”

“Very well,” he moved to sit by her on the sofa. “Did something happen between you and Miss Lovegood?”

“You were right,” she whispered. “All she had to do was mention the Halloween Ball; he got inside my head and I kept having flashbacks to that night. My body became tight and I started to lose control over my sound mind…”

He held out his hand and she stared at him in confusion. “I want to show you your wrists,” he said, and she slowly placed her forearm in his hand. He carefully unravelled the bandage on her left wrist and she gasped at the sight of an angry line down her arm. “I did what I could to stop the bleeding, but the process of healing a scar like this may take a while, even then I can’t guarantee that it’ll disappear.”

She bit her bottom lip. “Thank you.”

“For?”

“Saving me.”

He flinched away from her words, and she snatched her arm away from him. “This isn’t the type of situation you thank someone for saving you from.”

“Then what am I meant to do?” she rested her left arm against her chest.

She saw anger flash across his face, and she readied herself for his cruel words, but he took in a deep breath then sighed. “You should’ve come to me.”

Her face flooded with sadness. “I wasn’t thinking properly, sir, I’m sorry.”

“What have I told you?”

She smiled a little. “To stop apologising.”

They fell into an uncomfortable silence. Hermione started to trace an imaginary circle around the red scar on her wrist, then she unravelled the other to view the matching scar. Emotional exhaustion started to rest heavily on her shoulders and she let her head fall back against the sofa.

* * *

 

Severus kept a keen eye on her while she stared up at the ceiling. An uncomfortable tightness found its home around his thundering heart. He wasn’t sure he’d properly calmed down since the incident, and he wasn’t counting on it happening any time soon. His brief dream at her bedside had only replayed his discovery of her floating in a pool of her own blood. He hated to think what might have become of her had Penny not raced into his study to tell him that something was wrong.

His bad mood had been festering over a book after she barged into him. He knew he shouldn’t have listened to Minerva and allowed her to have some company from school. He could see she was still struggling with things and he didn’t want to push her over the edge. Then, in rushed Penny saying something was wrong.

He'd arrived at the bathroom door to silence. He'd banged on the door once, tried again by saying her name, then he heard the clatter of something on the tiled floor. His knocks got louder, up until the point where he almost put his fist through the wooden door. It didn’t take him long to pull out his wand and fling the door off its hinges.

_ Blood. Wand on the floor. Pool of her own — she was floating in a pool of her own blood! _

It was only now, sitting next to her on the sofa, that he recalled her naked body. At the time, it hadn’t even crossed his mind. He’d scrambled to pull her body from the bath and raced her into her bedroom. His mind had started to panic, but his body carried on as if it had a mind of its own. He rid himself of his frock coat and summoned the things he needed.

Penny rushed around the room pulling out towels and fabrics that could be used to soak up the blood, while Crookshanks wailed in the middle of the commotion. His hands never wavered, nor did he second guess himself when it came to treating her. He’d saved some of her dignity by covering her nude body with her quilt.

After he managed to close the wounds, his body exited autopilot and rushed straight into blind panic. His body shuddered beneath an imaginary force and every part of his body shook at the sight of her bloody body on the bed. He too was covered in her blood, as well as the rest of the room. He managed to compose himself for a few moments and he raced downstairs to summon Vic through the floo network.

Sniderfield arrived with an annoyed look on his face, muttering something about needing to keep an eye on things at the Ministry all the time. He’d taken one look at the stricken expression on Severus’ face and followed him upstairs to Hermione’s cold body. Vic got her changed into a ridiculous pair of clothes, then disappeared downstairs to make them some tea. He returned with another chair and joined him at her bedside where Severus explained what had happened.

The pair stayed in silence for a couple of hours until Vic had to leave, with the promise of returning later. Severus should’ve known he would tell Potter.

Severus snapped back to reality and noticed Penny had climbed onto Granger’s lap.  **_“Comfort her,”_ ** Penny whispered in his mind.

_ “I’m confused as to what I’ve been doing so far?” _ he murmured back sarcastically.

**_“Tell her why she can hear me talk,”_ ** the feline nuzzled Granger’s oblivious face.

_ “Do shut up.” _

**_“Go on,”_ ** she purred. **_“Tell her that only someone’s true love can hear their familiar.”_ **

Severus’ eyes narrowed into a deadly scowl.

There was no way he’d ever confess to such a thing. The young girl was his student after all, and not to mention the severe trauma she’d been through. He would never tell her why she could hear Penny.

Never.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Chapter 17**

A week later, Hermione found herself at a loss of what to do; she’d worked her mind over many books, written numerous letters to Harry, Ron and now Luna. Professor Snape was never far behind her, and even he looked bored out of his mind.

What spare time she had was spent mindlessly staring at the scars on her wrists. She no longer felt distant from her own body, but she was still very aware that she wasn’t well.

They hadn’t spoken properly about what she’d done to herself, however, she noticed his change in attitude and the soft way he spoke around her. _ Perhaps Christmas Day won’t be so bad? _ She had no hope of returning to Hogwarts since today was Christmas Eve.

Hermione glanced at the two white lines on her wrists. The scarring would fade over time, but because it was done by magical means it wasn’t as easy to heal like a non magical injury. Snape woke her up each morning to tell her breakfast was ready and he’d leave her a salve on the bedside table.

_ I’m sure he stays up most of the night to brew it.  _ Guilt consumed her at the thought.  _ He’s done a lot for more, and I need him to know how grateful I am for it. _

Whenever she headed towards the bathroom he wasn’t too far behind. She knew that he only meant well, but she could never relax when she needed to use the loo knowing he was on the other side.

Hermione thought about the upcoming holiday, which only furthered her sadness.  _ I miss my mum and dad _ . She sighed as Snape shut his book.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

_ I should be honest with him. _ “I’m bored...and I miss my parents.”

He stared at her passively. “I’m afraid there’s not much I can do regarding your parents. However, there are plenty of books for you to read.”

“Believe it or not, I’m tired of reading,” a brief half smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“What would you like to do?”

She pondered on his question. “Talk.” He paused midway to putting his book on the small table by his armchair. “Or not…”

“Why would you want to talk, Miss Granger?” he slipped back into professor mode.  _ I asked him to call me Hermione, yet he hasn’t said it once. _

She glanced down awkwardly. “We spend so much time together, yet we rarely converse about normal things.”

“Why?” he repeated.

She looked at him over her shoulder. “Because I want to get to know you.”

He was no longer sat in his chair, instead, she caught sight of his billowing robes as he left the room. Her jaw dropped at his sheer rudeness towards her request.  _ What a mean man! We’re supposed to be friends...right? _

Hermione let out a sigh and lay back on the rug. Four paws landed on her stomach and she began to pet Crookshanks. Penny jumped down from the window sill and cast a look her way.

**_“I’ll go and investigate,”_ ** she sauntered off after her master.

“Oh, Crooks, I wish you could talk,” she said. “But, you’re just a normal cat.”

“Bloody hell, ‘Mione, talking to yourself already? I thought that wasn’t supposed to happen until you’re old and grey?”

Hermione shot up at the sight of Harry, Ron and Luna standing in the doorway. “Hi!” She raced over to greet them with hugs, and Harry’s lingered longer than the others. She was yet to talk to him about the incident, and she wasn’t sure whether he’d told Ron.

“We brought presents,” Luna held up a spherical shaped present that looked to have been wrapped by a child.

“O-Oh,” she flushed a pink shade. “I don’t have anything to give you in return.”

“Hermione, we don’t expect anything back,” Ron said.

“Just make sure you write to us tomorrow,” Harry added.

“Come and sit down!” she clapped her hands together and led them over to the sofa.

She was excited to have company; her mind drifted away from Snape’s blatant rejection to talk to her, and she focused on her friends.

Thankfully, she wore a jumper with sleeves long enough to cover her wrists. Ron sat a bit too close to her and she flashed him an awkward smile. Luna seemed her usual airy self, while Harry kept giving her odd looks.

“How’s work?” she asked, immediately noticing the way Ron glanced at Harry.

_ I’m sick of being lied to. _

“Good,” Harry cleared his throat. “How have you been?”

“Fine,” she bit back. “Any news about Malfoy’s case?”

“No,” Ron said. “Are your excited for Christmas?”

Her lip curled slightly.  _ What is so bad that they have to keep lying to me?  _ “Christmas will be peaceful this year.”

It’s better than saying she wasn’t looking forward to it. She couldn’t wait to spend it with Professor Snape, the man she considers a friend, while he thinks of her as dog poo on his shoe. I

“Where’s the black cat?” Luna asked.

“She’s probably with Professor Snape,” Hermione said. “She enjoys his company more than mine.”

That wasn’t true. Penny spent most of her time around Hermione, whether it be talking or lounging somewhere in the background.  _ I just wish I had a familiar bond like she shares with Snape. _

“Snape has a cat?” Ron snickered. “What’s he called, Bat?” his joke fell on deaf ears, and he glanced at Hermione with an apologetic look.

“Her name is Penny,” Hermione said. “And she happens to be his familiar.”

“That’s not possible, they don’t exist,” Harry stated.

“Well, I must be going insane then,” she patted her head as if she were dumb. “Because what else can explain a feline approaching Snape and me in the Forbidden Forest and telling us to stop bickering? Must’ve been the bloody wind.”

“You went into the woods with him, alone?”

“Out of everything I just said, that’s what you focus on Ronald?”

He shrugged in response.

“I was having an anxiety attack one evening, and Professor Snape asked if I wanted to come with him to pick Armoranth to distract me. His intentions were nothing but chivalrous and considerate.”

“Sorry,” he muttered.

“Richard has asked me to help prepare for the Valentine’s Ball,” Luna broke the awkward tension.

“That’s great,” Hermione flashed her a genuine smile. “I hope that I can return for it.”

“I think he misses you a lot, especially because he has to be organised for the event. He came running to me with heaps of scrolls, all full of suggestions, and begged me to help him.”

Hermione chuckled. “I would like to have something to keep me occupied. Will you tell him that I’m sorry I can’t be there.”

Hermione guessed that the Headmistress must’ve told an elaborate lie to Richard, because he would definitely notice her disappearance. _ I wish I could be there to help him. _

“I will,” Luna glanced at the three of them one-by-one. “It’s an open event. The Headmistress wishes to welcome past students and parents.”

“I guess we’ll be there then,” Harry smiled awkwardly.

“And you?” Luna asked Ron.

He cleared his throat. “Of course.”

“Good,” Luna’s eyes found Hermione’s. “We can all go together.”

“That sounds lovely, Luna, I just hope everything is sorted by then,” Hermione watched another odd look cross over Harry’s face and she held back her screams of protest.

_ The only way I’m going to find out the truth is by confronting Professor Snape. _ She needed to find some of her lost ferocity and force the answers from him.

“This is rather awkward,” Luna said. “What’s going on?”

“I wish to talk to Hermione alone,” Harry replied.

“So do I,” Ron said.

“Oh,” Luna smiled. “How about Ron and I stand out in the hall-“

“I’m afraid I don’t wish to talk to any of you alone,” Hermione crossed her arms. “Unless any of you are willing to tell me the truth. I’m neither stupid or blind, and I know something has happened. Either tell me, or go away.”

“‘Mione-“

“Are you going to tell me the truth?” she glared at Harry as he shook his head. “Thank you for the presents; I’ll write to you tomorrow.”

They took that as their cue to leave. She watched them disappear out of the study, then let out a frustrated sigh. It didn’t take long for Penny to return, and she was soon followed by Snape. She glared at him as he took a seat, and he caught on to her thunderous eyes over the top of his book.

“Problem?”

“Never,” she bit back sarcastically, and his book slammed shut.

“The tone of your voice suggests otherwise.”

“When can we return to Hogwarts, sir?” her tone became dull and she focused on the fireplace. “I’m getting rather bored here.”

Hermione saw him lean forward in his armchair from the corner of her eye. She’d clearly got a reaction out of him.

“I apologise that my company disgusts you so much,” he spat.

“Oh, no no no,” she tutted. “You mistake me, sir, I just have no wish to live alongside someone who lies to me on a frequent basis. Friends would never lie to one another, would they?” she turned to look at him with dead eyes. “I’d hate for that to be true.”

His jaw clenched and his eyes lit up in fury. “Now, who in Merlin’s name do you think you’re talking to, Miss Granger?!”

“My friend,” her monotone response furthered his anger. “We’re friends, right?”

“You’re a mere student! Show some respect for your elders and talk to me in the correct manner-“

“A mere student?!” she shot to her feet and he quickly joined her. “That’s all I am to you? A mere student!” she threw her head back and laughed. “I can’t believe I fooled myself into thinking we were anything more than student and teacher. How foolish indeed.”

“What else did you expect me to say?” he growled.

“I expect you to say that I haven’t been pouring my heart out to someone that doesn’t care! That I’m being comforted by someone that truly cares for my well-being, but no, all this time I’ve been crying on the shoulder of just my professor. A man without a caring bone in his body, who is only here because his moral compass dictates him to.”

“How dare you!” he marched forward so he was toe-to-toe with her.

“How dare I state the truth?” she snapped back.

“Drop the sarcasm, Miss Granger,” his voice was low, which told Hermione that he was past the point of anger.

“No!” she shouted up at him, having to tilt her head back to meet his dark eyes. “Tell. Me. The. Truth.”

His eyes roamed over her face and she ignored the burning trail they left behind. Tears started to sting her eyes and she took a step back.

She choked on a sob. “What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?”

Silence.

She waited and waited for him to say something, but he focused on the floor. Hermione wiped the tears from her cheeks and sighed.

“I’m going to put my presents away-“

“They’ve dropped the case,” he said flatly. “A new Minister has taken over and a dark cult seems to be rising once more. His name is David Cole, and he decided to drop Draco’s case, then release certain people from Azkaban, including Lucius Malfoy.”

A harrowing cry escaped her lips and she stumbled back into her seat on the sofa. Her body trembled beneath the emotional strain and she buried her face in her hands to cry out her pain.

_ What happens now? What do I do now?! _ She knew exactly who would be at the top of the Malfoys hit-list.  _ Me. And probably Professor Snape too. _

A hand rested on her shoulder and she glanced up at Snape. “Miss Granger-“

“Get off me,” she hit his hand away. “I don’t wish to be in your presence right now,” Hermione got to her feet and stormed out of the room.

_ He lied to me. _ He’d probably done so to protect her, but she couldn’t shake the emotional sting it had brought to her chest.

* * *

 

Christmas Day arrived with no carols and glorious noise.

Hermione sat up in bed, listening to the wind blow throughout the house. It was seven in the morning and she’d just awoke from a frightful dream. She had her journal in her lap and recalled the event. _ It’s always the same, at some point hands drag me into the darkness and have their way with me. _

There was no doubt about what had caused her nightmare.  _ I need to stop going to bed upset. _ Crookshanks slept peacefully at the foot of her bed, obviously he hadn’t been disturbed by her whimpers, and Hermione wished once more that her cat could talk to her.

Scratching came from the other side of her bedroom door. She threw back the covers, exposing herself to the frigid air, and opened the wooden door to see Penny staring up at her.

**_“Good morning,”_ ** Penny said.  **_“Merry Christmas.”_ **

“Merry Christmas,” Hermione whispered, letting Penny wander in.

**_“How are you feeling?”_ **

“Did you know?”

**_“I did,”_ ** she jumped onto the bed. **_“Child, I told him to tell you, but he didn’t wish to inform you of the change in circumstances because you were improving.”_ **

“I tried to kill myself,” she hissed. “That’s not improvement.”

**_“OK,”_ ** Penny settled down next to Crookshanks.  **_“Your attempt to die only made it more reasonable to withhold such information.”_ **

“I was the one that got raped!” she snapped. “I deserve to know what’s happening; it’s bad enough that I’m sheltered away here!”

**_“My dear, talk to him.”_ **

“I-I can’t,” she flopped backwards with a sigh. “Sometimes talking to him is the easiest thing, but some days, I can’t utter a single word to him.”

**_“It’s Christmas, open your presents.”_ **

Hermione glanced at the three presents on the chest of drawers.  _ I should at least try to enjoy Christmas _ . Her feet thumped across the floor as she bundled her presents into her arms.

She opened Luna’s spherical shaped present first, and she stared blankly at the clear sphere. A note was attached on the outside with a sticky charm and she read it aloud.

“To keep the bad thoughts away, open up the globe and release the Digelberds,” Hermione couldn’t stop the laughter from escaping her lips. It wasn’t out of mockery, instead she felt nothing but joy.

She twisted open the sphere and separated them into hemispheres. Nothing happened, to which she already expected nothing would. She glanced around the room as if she could see the fascinating creatures that Luna had bestowed upon her.

**_“She’s a weird girl,”_ ** Penny said.

“I know,” Hermione laughed. “But she wouldn’t be Luna if she was normal.”

She quickly opened Ron’s present, which immediately brought a frown to her face. She stared blankly at the moving picture of her and Ron from a few Christmases ago. Her moving self glanced at Ron with pure joy in her eyes, and it hit Hermione hard that she would never experience love again. With a solemn look on her face, she placed it on the bedside table.

Hermione slowly opened Harry’s present. _A book called,_ _When The Mind Gets Rough_. She flicked through some of the pages and smiled sadly. They were yet to speak about what happened, but his gift was enough to know that she had him around for support.

Suddenly, a crash came from downstairs. It was followed by a loud “fuck!”, and she recognised the sound of a bell jingling. Hermione glanced at Penny, “What was that?” she asked.

**_“Perhaps you should go and find out,”_ ** she responded slyly.

Hermione got to her feet and opened the bedroom door. The smell that reached her nostrils brought a huge smile to her face: it smelt like Christmas. She took off running down the stairs and stumbled out into the front room.

Professor Snape was busy picking up some fallen tree decorations, and muttering curses under his breath. Hermione stared in awe at the decorated room: tinsel hung from every object, lights covered all the walls and the half decorated tree, the fire burnt brightly casting a glow on the single stocking hanging from the fireplace. A few presents were nestled beneath the Christmas tree and she fought back her giggle when Snape almost tripped over them.

“Professor,” she whimpered, allowing her tears to fall freely. He turned at the sound of her voice and cringed at the sight of her tears. However, Hermione couldn’t help it, she closed the distance between them and hugged him.

“Miss Granger, you’re squeezing me too tight.”

She pushed herself away and wiped her tears from her face. “Sorry, sir.”

“I’m guessing by your over enthusiastic attitude, that you like what you see?”

She nodded her head. “Very much.”

It was enough to get her to forget about the revelations last night. Of course she was still angry at him for lying to her, but it was hard to stay mad at him while they stood by the half decorated Christmas tree.

“Would you like some help?” she pointed to the tree and he handed her the box. They moved around in silence and the occasional jingle of a bell made her smile widen. She began to wonder whether he’d got her a present —  _ I haven’t got him anything, for obvious reasons. _ Her mind started to overwork itself trying to come up with any last minute ideas, and just as she was on the cusp of coming up with something, the tree was finished.

“Professor, this is perfect,” she smiled at him.

He cleared his throat. “I had hoped that it would take your mind off things, even if it is only for a day.”

Tears threatened to fall again. “You can be really sweet when you want to be, sir.”

“I’ll hear none of that,” he tutted, and she spotted his embarrassment as he turned away.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Chapter 18**

Hermione awoke with a heavy weight on her shoulders. Yesterday had been beyond perfect, so she didn’t understand her misery. She’d received presents from her professors  — including a book on exploring the mind from Snape — and she even had one from Ginny, and Richard.  _ I should write letters to thank them.  _ But, still, she didn’t understand her sadness.

Her eyes landed on the scars on her wrists.  _ I’ve come far with Snape’s help _ . She felt her silly attempt at causing herself harm was a waste of everything he’s done for her thus far.  _ How am I ever going to get better? I need to be independent. _

A part of her knew that things would’ve got better faster if she’d been back at Hogwarts.  _ I’d have space to breathe.  _ She wanted to go back to the place she considered Home, so she could grow as a person and live her life. The end of the school year would be fast upon them and she needed to prepare for exams, and figure out where to go when Hogwarts is no longer her Home.

Professor Snape knocked on her door, and a weird feeling fluttered in her stomach. She raced over and opened the door. “Morning, sir.”

Her heart beat rapidly.  _ What’s wrong with my heart? _ She briefly glanced at her chest then shook her head and looked back up at the bemused expression on his face. “Breakfast is ready.”

“O-OK,” she stepped out into the hall forcing him to take a few steps back.

“Did you sleep well?”

She hummed in response and followed him down the stairs. The sight of a cooked breakfast made her stomach grumble with delight. She raced over and started to pile food onto her plate.

She swallowed hard. “Sir, I must thank you for yesterday.”

“Don’t mention it,” she could tell that he meant it.

“No, sir. I need you to know how much it meant to me; it was one of the best Christmases I've ever had-“

“I’m sure the ones spent with your family were better.” Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

“Why do you always have to ruin things?” she snapped. “Just take the compliment and move on!”

He didn’t seem startled by her outburst. “I apologise. However, I don’t see how it was comparable to the times spent with your family-“

“Because it was spent with you!” silence followed, and Hermione stared at her plate then sighed. “I’ve lost my appetite,” she headed towards the door.

“Sit back down,” she hated the authority in his tone.

“Why?” she crossed her arms over her pyjama clad chest.

He clenched his jaw. “Because I said so.”

“Yes, sir,” she sat down opposite him with a frown and a heavy heart.

She couldn’t work out her feelings towards him. The development of some form of feelings was bound to happen to one of them. They’d been in close proximity and he had seen a vulnerable side to her; she was rather shocked that it was only now that she noticed the way he made her feel.

_ I’ve become too attached to him. _

Snape cleared his throat. “Are you happy here?”

His question took her by surprise. Of course she liked being here with him.  _ But, that’s not the question he asked _ . “I’m happy.”

He took a sip of his tea. “But?”

“I also miss Hogwarts,” she sighed. “Luna told me that Richard is working hard to prepare for the Valentine’s Day Festival, and I really wish to help him.”

“I understand,” his tone was dull, and Hermione panicked.

“B-But I still enjoy my time with you! I really like it here, honest!”

A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I take no offence, Miss Granger.”

“Good,” she smiled down at her plate. “I’m not angry at you for lying to me.”

“You aren’t?”

“No,” she pushed some of her hair from her face. “I was angry at first, but now I understand that you thought you were protecting me.”

He tilted his head slightly. “How did you come to that conclusion.”

Her cheeks flushed. “Well, why else did you withhold the information?”

He flinched at her response.  _ He’s being dishonest with me _ . “I thought you would be unable to handle the information, and your episode after the revelations proved me right.”

“Are you purposefully trying to be mean?” she retorted.

“I’m afraid that’s just who I am.”

“No,” she pushed her plate away.

This wasn’t who he was. The man on Christmas Day was his true nature; the man who cooked her dinner and watched her open her presents in front of the fire was not cruel.  _ He even let me play Muggle Christmas songs — I even heard him muttering the words to one of them under his breath! _

“I’m the man who killed Dumbledore-“

“Do shut up!”

“Remember who you’re talking to, Miss Granger!”

“Oh, silly me, I forgot that you were the mean, old dungeon bat for a second,” she got to her feet. “Like I said, I’ve lost my appetite.”

* * *

 

 

Hermione chose to ignore Penny as she sighed every couple of seconds. She wasn’t going to apologise for upsetting Professor Snape when he’d upset her first. It was obvious that the pair were coming to blows purely out of boredom, there wasn’t much else to do.

She tried to stay focused on the book in her lap, but she struggled to keep her concentration. The flames burned high in front of her and she settled on gazing at them intently.

_ I wonder what things will be like when we return to Hogwarts? _ Funnily enough, Snape was rather relaxed compared to his teaching persona, and she didn’t wish for him to return to that way. However, the notion was inevitable.  _ We aren’t friends _ .

Perhaps that was the issue? When Hermione thought of Snape and friendship together, it never conjured up the image of her own perception of friendship.  _ I don’t see him treating me the way Ron and Harry do. Maybe establishing that fact might improve the situation? _

“Letters,” his pale hand entered her view and she took her post from him. Their fingers brushed for a few seconds and her stomach jumped in response. She watched him sit back down without showing any reaction. A sigh escaped her lips, and she opened up her letter from Harry first.

His words were sincere and kind, however, she still noticed he wasn’t mentioning work. “Sir?”

“What?” he drawled flicking over the page of his book.

“Does Harry know about Lucius and Draco?”

He nodded. “Sniderfield has told him to stay home for a while until things blow over.”

“Oh,” she closed the letter. “That would explain why they’ve both been avoiding my questions about work.”

He didn’t offer her a response, but she caught sight of the angry look in his eyes. Her previous comment must’ve offended him.  _ Good _ , she thought,  _ at least I know I can get under his skin sometimes. _

Hermione opened Ron’s letter with a smile that soon faded. To begin with, his letter seemed formal, until she got to the last paragraph.

_ I know you’ve been going through a difficult time, so I want you to know that I still love you. I haven’t forgotten about our kiss during the battle, which is why I will wait for you. Then, after this is all over, we can be together again. _

_ Love, Ron. _

 

An angry whine came from her chest and her fingers curled around the vexing words.  _ Who does he think he is? Wait for me? He acts as if I’ve been away on holiday instead of recovering from serious trauma! _

“Miss Granger…?”

_ Does he think that I want him that bad? I’m perfectly capable of making up my own mind! _

“Miss Granger!”

_ Why does he think I want to be with him? I know that we never talked about the kiss, but a reasonable person would understand that that meant things weren’t up for discussion. _

“Hermione!” The letter was snatched from her fingertips and she glanced up at Professor Snape. His eyes roamed over the words, then he scoffed and handed her back the letter.

“What a rambling buffoon,” he sat back down.

“You can say that again,” she muttered. “I’m not sure when I ever gave him the impression that I wanted him like that! However, the part that bugs me the most is that he said he’ll wait for me! It’s as if he’s waiting for you to patch me up just so you can ship me back like a bloody mare.”

“He’s never been good with words,” he placed his book on the side table. “However, I’m sure underneath all of his rambling is a genuine proclamation.”

She could feel his eyes on her, and her cheeks immediately flushed.  _ I might be coming down with something? _ “He’s implying that I’m damaged goods. Ronald expects you to fix me! I don’t even want to be touched by people, let alone be with someone in such a way. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that point again.”

He cleared his throat. “Would you like to talk about it?”

“Not really,” she sighed. “The whole idea is rather depressing.”

She watched him adjust his robes then link his fingers together and rest them against his chest. “You shouldn’t disallow touch completely. It may be difficult at first, but I’ve read that another person's — gentle — touch can be healing.”

“My options are rather limited at the moment,” she sheepishly looked away from him, meaning she missed the small smile that grew on his face.

It occurred to Hermione that they were having a normal conversation; it didn’t matter that the topic itself was sensitive, she found herself enjoying the relaxing atmosphere.

“How about I help you write an articulate response?” His suggestion caused her to smirk, and she raced over to his side and knelt down in front of the small table bedside him. They spent a good twenty minutes thinking of ways to insult Ron with fancy words, which he wouldn’t understand, but that made the letter a lot more fun to write.

Night soon came upon them after they spent a long time reading in silence. She found herself casting Snape sneaky glances, only to have him always catch on to her curious stares. By the time Hermione felt her eyes closing, she came to the conclusion that touch may be helpful to heal her. However, there was only one problem, Severus Snape was the only person at her disposal.

She stood up on shaking legs and placed her book back on the shelf. With a long, staggered inhale, she turned on her heel and headed towards his armchair. His head was bowed as he read his book, which made it easier for her to make a quick getaway.

Ever so slowly, she etched closer without him knowing, then suddenly bent down and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Goodnight, sir.”

She ran off like her arse was on fire, unable to handle what expression it had brought to his face. She buried herself beneath her quilt and prayed that sleep would claim her soon.

 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Chapter 19**

**_“You have to go downstairs at some point.”_ **

Hermione stayed put underneath her quilt and ignored Penny’s paw prodding her body. She refused to go and be alone with Snape.  _ Not after I kissed his cheek — he’s going to kill me! _

**_“Why did you do it if you’re just going to hide from him?”_ **

“He said that a person’s touch can be healing; he’s the only person at my disposal, so what else was I meant to do?”

**_“Interesting.”_ ** Penny started walking up and down Hermione’s clad body.  **_“He’s just going to be more angry that you kissed him then refused to go near him.”_ **

This caused Hermione to sit up in bed and toss her quilt to the side. Penny smirked up at her and accepted the praising pat that Hermione bestowed upon her.

“You’re right, Penny, I should keep trying to touch him.”

**_“No, that’s not what I said — don’t you dare tell him I said that, he’ll kill me!”_ **

Hermione smiled playfully at the feline. “I’m joking...although, I might try to discreetly touch him while we interact. It’s similar to an experiment, and I’m usually very thorough when doing my research.”

**“He’s not a project.”**

“I know that,” Hermione sighed. “However, I might just ignore him until I die.”

**_“What? Why?”_ **

“Well, there’s something that’s really been bugging me,” she pouted. “Why can I really hear you?”

Penny slowly backed further down the bed.  **_“I already told you it’s because he cares.”_ **

“Yes, I know that, but a person could care about an inanimate object.”

**_“Talk to him.”_ **

“I want to hear it from you.”

Penny dived underneath the bed to hide and Hermione laughed. “Just tell me. Surely it’s not that bad?”

**_“Master will cause me bodily harm if I tell you.”_ **

“He would never hurt you, Penny,” Hermione leant over the bed and peeked at the cat covering her eyes with her paws. “Please, it can’t be that bad that he’ll hurt you.”

She mumbled something that Hermione couldn’t hear. “What?”

**_“I said, it’s because you’re the soul he’s supposed to be with!”_ **

Hermione shot up straight and stared at the wall opposite in shock.  _ Me? Soul? What? _ Penny slithered out from under the bed and bowed her head in shame.

**_“I’ve betrayed my master.”_ **

“What—” Hermione stared at her for a few seconds. “No! No you haven’t, Penny! I’m grateful that you told me the truth.”

**_“I still told you his secret…”_ ** Hermione bundled Penny up in her arms and kissed her head.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him that I know…” she stroked Penny gently. “I won’t tell him that I know I’m his destined soul.”

Penny whined and Hermione kissed her again. “Let’s go downstairs, I’m sure he’s wondering what’s going on.”

Hermione got ready then headed downstairs and into the kitchen. Snape sat at the table with a book before him, he narrowed his eyes at the sight of her and tilted his head slightly.

“What took you so long?”

Her cheeks flooded with colour when she remembered how she’d kissed his cheek. “I...I wanted to talk to Penny about something private.”

His glare didn’t ease up. “Private? Do you honestly think that’s going to make me not ask?”

Hermione walked around the table and cautiously placed her hand on his shoulder. “Would you like me to make some tea?”

She felt him go rigid beneath her touch, so she quickly pulled away and went about making a pot of tea.  _ Should I try my theory? Touching him occasionally might prepare me for someone else’s touch...should I ask him first? I am his intended soul after all,  _ she smiled to herself.

Hermione glanced over her shoulder at the back of his head.  _ He’ll react badly if I ask to touch him...or maybe he’ll help me out? _ She knew that there was only one way to find out.

“Professor?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said last night — about how a person's touch can be healing — and I’ve come to the conclusion that I would like to try that,” she took in a deep breath and turned to stare at the back of his head. “And since you’re the only person around here, I was wondering if I could test out the theory with you—”

Hermione lunged forward and grabbed the back of Snape’s collar, bringing them crashing to the kitchen floor just as a green light shattered the table he’d been sat at. A loud explosion caused the windows to break and dust started to shake down from the cracks in the ceiling. Before Hermione could process what had happened, Snape covered her body with his wand drawn.

She awkwardly reached down to pull her wand from her right boot. “Hermione—” his words were cut off when a masked figure came charging into the kitchen blasting spells. Snape threw up a shield immediately and got to his feet to duel the intruder, but he didn’t expect another to come into the kitchen from the other door. Hermione shot to her feet and fired spells at the other black figure.

Hermione stumbled into Snape’s back and he reached his free arm behind him to keep her standing. She struggled to keep throwing up her shield while firing spells back at the man since it had been so long since she last practised thoroughly.

A quiet meow filtered into Hermione’s left ear and she turned to see a confused Crookshanks strolling into the room. Her opponent noticed the ginger feline and moved to deliver what would’ve been a killing blow to an animal, but Hermione raced away from Snape and skidded along the floor to put her back in the path of the shocking spell. Hermione cried out as intense tremors ignited her spine. She had no choice but to run out of the kitchen with Crookshanks in her arms.

The intruder chased her through Spinner’s End with spells that intended to kill a person, but she managed to concentrate on keeping them at bay. She scrambled towards the front door and flung it open, only to come nose-to-wand with another masked figure. The pale hand reached up to remove the golden mask, and Hermione inhaled sharply at the sight of Lucius Malfoy’s smirking face.

“And where do you think you’re going, Granger?”

Hermione was close to hyperventilating. She could still hear Snape defending himself against the other attacker, so she stood no chance of taking down the man behind her and Lucius. A loud noise that sounded like a body being tossed into the kitchen cupboards caused her eyes to clamp shut. She prayed that it wasn’t Snape, and her prayer was answered when Snape came rushing towards the front door with his wand pointing at the man behind her.

She turned to look at him with tears in her eyes, and she could see the worry that covered his face. “What do you want?” she turned to Lucius with a frown.

He smirked. “I just came here to remind you who’s incharge around here now.”

The man that Snape had been duelling came stumbling out of the kitchen and the man standing behind her helped him out of the front door, making sure to roughly barge Hermione in the process.

“Oh, and I’ve also brought you a gift,” a black bag appeared at her feet and Lucius took a few steps back. “It was lovely to see you both again  — especially you Severus, bedding your student must be exciting.” Lucius disappeared just before Snape’s curse could hit him.

Hermione’s mind managed to catch up with what had just happened, and she let go of Crookshanks and turned with wide eyes to face Snape. “Are you OK?” he raced over and cupped her elbow as he inspected her for injuries.

“I’m fine,” she whispered and discreetly checked him over as well. Her forehead came to rest on his chest and she inhaled sharply. For a few moments his hand came to rest on her shoulder and she relaxed into his awkward embrace. It was then that Hermione registered the horrible stench of death.

She pulled away from Snape and glanced down at the bag in the doorway. “I’ll open it,” he said, and she started to chew on her thumb as she watched him crouch down in front of the bag. His back blocked her view from seeing the inside, and she held her breath as he unzipped Lucius’ present. His shoulders went rigid and her eyes widened in worry.

_ What is it? _

“Sir?”

“Hermione,” he said gravely. “Go upstairs.”

“Why?”

“Just do as I say,” she hated his muted tone. “Go upstairs!”

_ What’s in the bag? _

She took a few steps forward. “I want to see—”

Hermione felt the moment all the air in her lungs fled her body. She stood still for a few seconds, then a harrowing scream burst from her lips. Snape caught her just before she hit the floor and he roughly turned her head into his chest so her eyes no longer observed the two items in the bag. Scream after scream caused her body to shake as Severus held her tight and began rocking her on the floor.

Her mind wished that it was just a dream, but nothing would erase the memory of seeing the severed heads of her mum and dad in the black bag.

* * *

 

The room was alight with noise, some people moved around the kitchen to help repair the damage, and others bickered amongst themselves. Some of the Aurors who had fled the Ministry were happy to listen in on any plans to regain a way back to their normal lives, but none of the answers they heard gave them hope.

Hermione felt as if she was under water, all of the voices were deep and seemed to echo all around her. Her eyes were fascinated with the burnt floor and the feet that occasionally passed over her vision.

Professor Snape had forced her to sit down in a chair after everyone arrived, and all she could do was cry in response. Her tears soon dried up and all that was left was for her to rub her sore eyes. Every so often, a lone hand would try to force a drink into her hand but it was never the one she wanted, she could hear him across the kitchen arguing with McGonagall.

Shouldn’t she be crying some more? Or was she in shock? Nothing could’ve prepared her for such a horrific sight, and she wished that she’d listened to Snape’s orders to go upstairs. She wished to be held tightly by someone; she wanted them to be warm and welcoming, and nothing like the stray hands that rested on her shoulder as they walked around the kitchen.

Crookshanks came into view and she almost smiled when he nuzzled his wet nose against her exposed ankle. She enjoyed the feel of his fur warming her leg, and it almost brought her comfort.

Harry crouched down in front of her and she watched him push his glasses up his nose. She could see that his mouth was moving, but none of the words reached her ears. His brow furrowed and she could see sadness on his face. She recognised his expression as sympathy and she no longer wished to look at him.

Thankfully, a familiar hand grabbed his shoulder and he was pulled away from her. Professor Snape took Harry’s spot and she stared into his dark eyes. The voices started to return to normal and she took in a sharp breath from the sudden wave of noise.

“Drink this,” he held out a glass of water and she took it with shaking hands. He watched her drink every last drop then he took it from her and put it on the floor. “I’m going to take you back to Hogwarts.”

She responded with a nod and he offered her his hand which she gladly took. He led her out the back door away from all the noise, and she vaguely heard him mention that Crookshanks and her belongings would follow her shortly. She held on tight to him as they disapparated from Spinner’s End, and she was reluctant to let him go when they landed outside the welcoming gates.

Hermione kept hold of his hand and used her free one to wrap around his forearm. He didn’t go rigid beneath her touch, and she realised that he understood her need to touch somebody. They walked down to the dungeons side by side, and Hermione was grateful that the students were in lessons. The last thing she needed was to bump into someone like Ginny or Richard and have them ask twenty questions.

Time seemed to disappear around her, and before she knew it, Snape was lowering her down onto the sofa in his chambers and pushing her to lay down. A blanket covered her body and she watched him move over to the wingback chair nearby. Visions of the night she arrived at Snape’s door wet and dishevelled came to mind, and she noticed how similar they looked to how they’d first come into one another’s lives. Snape observed her closely like he was waiting for her to break down in tears, but she’d already cried a river in his arms, and she had no energy to do it again.

They stared at one another intently, and Hermione could see he wanted to ask her questions, yet he didn’t wish to overwhelm her. She felt exhausted but not enough to fall asleep. There was something relaxing about being in a warm silence with Professor Snape watching her, and she chose not to think of what that meant.

Perhaps everything would catch up to her soon enough? Shouldn’t she be screaming at the top of her lungs and swearing revenge on Lucius Malfoy? She didn’t feel any of those things, instead she became fascinated with the sound of her breaths. It was silent and calm, nobody would disturb them down here, not even Lucius had the power to attack Hogwarts — she was safe down in the dungeons with Professor Snape, her intended soul.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Chapter 20**

Hermione listened to the two voices in the sitting room with her. She’d eventually fallen asleep under Snape’s watchful eyes, but the sound of murmured talk caused her to flee her dreamless sleep.

She thought back on the events of yesterday. She remembered how Lucius had accused Snape of bedding his student, and the notion brought a warm feeling to her stomach.  _ He’d never bed a student, never. _

“Tell her, Severus,” McGonagall said.

“I will,” Snape sighed. “I’m just going to give her a few hours and then I’ll explain what’s happened.”

“I still think you should let someone else deal with her.”

“Deal with her?” he whispered back harshly. “She’s not a misbehaving school child! She’s in shock from seeing her parents heads in a bag, and trust me, I’m perfectly capable of  _ dealing _ with someone experiencing grief.”

“Do you not think you’re putting a bigger target on Hermione; Lucius Malfoy is coming after you as well, and the pair of you being together just makes it harder to keep you both safe.”

“Well your argument is invalid now that we’re back in Hogwarts — didn’t you say that not even Lucius Malfoy could penetrate the wards?” Hermione heard the door shut, and she assumed that McGonagall was left in a state of shock on the other side.

She listened as Snape muttered things under his breath and moved around the room. A part of her wanted to comfort him, yet another was quickly coming to realise what had happened yesterday.

_ Mum. _

_ Dad. _

Hermione burst into tears and sobbed into the cushion. A cautious hand rested on her arm and she opened her eyes to look at Snape. “They died not even knowing I exist!” Snape flinched away from her words but kept his hand on her arm.

His face was void of emotion and she could tell that he wanted to say something that one would consider harsh. She sat up to look down at him on the floor, and she wiped away her tears with shaking hands.

“What is it?”

He sighed. “Lucius is now Minister of Magic.”

“Oh…” a fresh wave of tears tumbled from her eyes, and she leant forward and rested her forehead on his shoulder.

He moved closer to her ear, and she thought for a second that he was going to kiss her, but his deep voice soon perished the thought. “I know that you need to grieve, Hermione, but you need to fight back — we can’t let this brew for long. We fought for a world free of Voldemort and now someone wants to take that away from us. I’m going to have to ask you to pause your grief and help me end this. We’ll have a team backing us and I’ll be right by your side through it all.”

She smiled against his shoulder then turned to whisper in his ear. “Penny told me why I can hear her.” She wasn’t sure why she said that in response to his uplifting words, but her mind wasn’t exactly in the right place at the moment.

Snape pulled away in shock. She’d managed to stun him into silence and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. “She told me that I’m your—” he got to his feet and glared down at her.

“I don’t know what you think you know, but it’s a lie, all of it.”

“So I’m not your destined soul?”

“Of course not!” his yell made her jump, and regret flashed over his face. “I apologise.”

“It’s fine. I’m used to being rejected,” she wrapped the blanket around her and lay down, putting her back to him.

“Miss Granger—”

“You won’t be my friend, and you say I’m not your intended soul, therefore, we wouldn’t want someone thinking this was any more than a standard student-teacher relationship. Oh, and thank you for returning to calling me Miss Granger, hearing you call me Hermione really made it seem like you care.”

All she could hear was him breathing in response. She nuzzled her face into the pillow and thought about her deceased parents. Memories of many happy Christmases caused her heart to sink. Yet, she still didn’t feel the bone shattering feeling of grief.  _ Perhaps it’s because I already grieved their loss when I couldn’t return their memories? _

His hand came to rest on her shoulder and she violently shoved it off, and shot to her feet to glare up at him. “Don’t.Touch. Me.” He stared back at her in shock, clearly not expecting such an outburst from her. “I’m sick of this!” she gestured between them both. “I guess it’s my fault for deluding myself into thinking we were friends, and I hate that I started to care for you, because there’s only so many times someone can pull at a thread until it breaks. My bloody patience is that thread!”

“Hermione—”

“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me so far, but I want to be your friend and if that can’t happen then I’ll seek someone else’s counsel. I never meant to bother you so much—” a warmth flooded her nose and she reached up to find blood dripping from her nostrils.  _ What? _ The room started to spin and Snape called out her name before everything went dark.

* * *

 

“Poppy!” Severus charged into the hospital wing with Hermione in his arms. He looked around for the mediwitch, and she poked her head out of her office. She seemed startled to see them both, but she quickly acted and pointed towards a nearby bed. Severus carefully put Hermione down and observed her pale face.

“What happened?”

“Her nose started bleeding then she collapsed. She must’ve been hit with something whilst we were fighting,” Poppy scanned her body with her wand, and he paced around waiting for her to give him a definite answer. She shifted Hermione so she could look at her back, her silent reaction caused him to walk around the bed and look at what she’d seen. There on Hermione’s back was the shimmering residue of a dark curse.

Severus had no idea what curse the intruder had hit her with, and that idea alone caused him to panic.  _ What if she dies?  _ He tapped his head trying to think through every dark curse he knew, but so many of them caused similar reactions that it was hard to identify the culprit. His chest tightened as he realised he was helpless and unable to protect her like he promised. What if his last memory of her was the distraught look on her face as she scolded him for pushing her away one too many times?

“Severus…”

_ What do I do? _ He scanned her body for any sign of hope, but all he could focus on was the clamp that had latched onto his heart.  _ This is all my fault! _

“Severus!” Poppy grabbed his arm and he snapped out of his daze. “She’s going to be all right.”

He exhaled. “What?”

“It was a weak curse, and the residue on her back is just her body fighting it out of her system,” Poppy released his arm and smiled. “Sit and calm down.”

He followed her instructions and sat down at Hermione’s bedside. He watched closely as Poppy administered some potions and kept a close eye on her rising temperature. She kept giving Severus sidelong looks then smiling to herself for some unknown reason.

_ She’s going to be OK. _ He sighed in relief and buried his face in his hands. Perhaps it was fate giving him a wake up call, or some sort of divine intervention? He was angry at Penny for telling Hermione the truth, and the worst part of it all was that Hermione seemed to accept it. Severus just didn’t understand why she wished to be his friend, let alone anything more than that; he wasn’t even sure how he felt about her, but what he did know was that he wanted her in his life.

The flames in the fireplace glowed green and Vic stumbled out with Potter behind him. Two cats were nestled in Vic’s arms and Potter held Hermione’s endless bag. He hadn’t notified them about her collapsing, but when he saw a cut on Potter’s hand he assumed they’d stopped to get Poppy to clean it.

“Madam Pomfrey can you — Hermione!” Potter dropped her bag and raced over to her bedside. He reached out a shaking hand and touched her face, then his eyes narrowed at him.

“What accusation are you going to throw at me this time?” Severus tilted his head with a passive face.

“I…” Sniderfield appeared behind Potter and placed his hand on his back. “What happened?”

“She was hit with a curse while fighting,” Poppy explained. “She’ll recover just fine.”

“Thank Merlin,” Potter stroked her hair and Severus was tempted to tell him to leave her alone, but he had no right or claim over her.  

**_“Master,”_ ** Penny jumped onto his lap, and Severus felt reluctant to touch her.

_ “You told Hermione the truth,” _ he hissed back in his head.

She bowed.  **_“I’m sorry, but she deserves to be happy—”_ **

_ “I told you not to mention it to her until I was ready.” _

Penny’s sharp claws dug into his thigh.  **_“Forgive me, but you weren’t there to see her face every time you rejected her offer of friendship; she deserves to know that you care about her.”_ **

Severus sighed in response and forced her sharp claws from his thigh.  _ “I think I’ve pushed her too far. We were arguing before she collapsed.” _

**_“Let her grieve, and then talk to her about what I’ve told her. She wants to be your friend, and you never know, it might develop into something more.”_ **

_ “I don’t see her in that way — do you honestly think I’d engage in inappropriate relations with a student.” _

**_“You never know…”_ ** Severus put her down on the floor and got to his feet.

The tightness around his heart had eased, but he knew it wouldn’t disappear until she opened her eyes.

“Let me clean up your hand, Harry,” Poppy took hold of his hand with a smile. “What happened?”

“I fell over when I was gathering Hermione’s things.”

Severus tutted at his response and received a death glare from Potter. Vic smirked at Potter then focused his attention on Severus. “I’m guessing you’ve heard the news about Lucius?”

Severus nodded. “He needs to be dealt with, soon.”

“There’s going to be a gathering here at Hogwarts tomorrow evening. Lucius isn’t as powerful as he likes to think, and Hogwarts is untouchable against his magic.”

“Doesn’t mean he won’t try,” Potter added. “We need to get Hermione somewhere safe.”

“Our last two locations were compromised,” Severus growled. “The only place that is safe is here.”

“Lucius won’t be able to get into Grimmauld Place.”

He had to admit that Potter had a point, but he wasn’t going to say that to his face. “He’ll find a way.”

“You don’t know that!” Potter snapped and walked away from Poppy. “She needs more protection — you haven’t been doing a good job!”

Severus inhaled through his teeth. “I’ve being doing the best that I can for her.”

“Well that’s not good enough—”

“Do not tell me what’s good for her! You weren’t there for her, Potter, and she needed you more than she needed me! You and that ginger fool ignored her letters and cast her aside, leaving her with no other choice but to seek comfort from someone else. I haven’t just been protecting her, I’ve been helping her get over what Malfoy did to her! Or have you forgotten?” Severus was beyond livid and he wished to storm away but refused to leave Hermione’s side.

“We were protecting her from what was happening at the Ministry!” Potter yelled back.

“Yes, and you’ve clearly done a good job at protecting her!” Severus raced around the bed to lunge at the idiotic boy, but Vic put out his hand and pushed Harry behind him.

“There’s no need to get physical,” he said. “Harry, let’s go and talk to the Headmistress about the plans for tomorrow,” Vic led a fuming Potter from the room, and Poppy ushered Severus to sit back down.

“Would you like something to drink?” She asked, and Severus gratefully took the water she offered.

Severus stayed by Hermione’s bedside until the sun started to set hours later and there was movement behind her lids. He got to his feet and hovered over her holding his breath. He watched closely as she slipped away from sleep and finally opened her eyes to observe her surroundings.

She reached up to rub her eyes then slowly sat up. He waited for her to notice him, and when she did, she smiled sweetly. “What happened?”

“You collapsed due to a curse one of the intruders hit you with,” he kept his hands behind his back.

“Oh…” she yawned. “My parents are dead.”

“I’m aware.”

She chuckled. “Yes, you were there, silly me.”

Severus wasn’t sure what to say to her. The softness on her face didn’t match what he knew she was feeling inside, but what he did know was that people grieve differently to others. He looked at her in sympathy and tried to think of a way to ease her pain.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she whispered. “I’ll be fine after a few days; I already grieved the loss of my parents a long time ago, I just need to come to terms with seeing...well...their heads in a bag.”

Penny jumped onto the bed and happily climbed into Hermione’s lap. He watched as a thought triggered her to pause and look his way.  _ She’s going to bring up the destined soul thing again. _

She held out a trembling hand for him to take. “Friends?”

He couldn’t reject her again.

Severus grabbed the hand she offered and shook it. “Friends.”


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Chapter 21**

A week later Hermione had recovered from her battle with the mysterious dark curse. Snape kept a watchful eye over her as she slept on his sofa and administered different potions to her daily. For once there were never awkward silences, and they talked more than they sat in silence.

They talked about the simplest of things, but avoided the subject of the Malfoys. However, Hermione knew that they needed to talk about it soon. _Snape and I have to join the fight to recover the Ministry before something bad happens._

She looked up from the book Harry had got her for Christmas and watched Snape engage in a silent conversation with Penny. The conversation must’ve been light because a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips — which she took notice of a lot more recently. He always caught her lingering stares and it only made it worse that she couldn’t work out why she couldn’t stop staring.

“What are you talking about?”

The pair glanced her way then exchanged a sly look with one another. “Nothing of importance. How’s your back feeling?”

“I feel fine,” she said. “Although, I do feel useless staying down in the dungeons.”

Mild hurt flashed over his face but he covered it with a scowl. “Useless how?”

“I have no idea what’s happening outside of Hogwarts, and I’d love to know so I can help put an end to it.”

“Perhaps a brilliant mind such as yours should be kept behind the firing line,” he leant forwards and brushed his fingers along Penny’s fur.

“That’s a backhanded compliment.”

He cleared his throat. “I didn’t intend to cause offence—“

She smiled. “I understand your intent, sir. I’d want you to be safe from harm but I know that I’m incapable of stopping you.”

He stared back at her in surprise. She wished she could venture into his mind and understand the thoughts passing through. _I just want to know what I mean to him._ Hermione had no complaints about their growing friendship, however, the effort was mostly made by her.

“I guess that means I’m incapable of stopping you?”

She nodded. “Of course. You said that you’d be by my side throughout this fight, so I intend to stay by yours.”

Three hisses that almost resembled a laugh caught her attention, and she glanced down to see Penny nudging her head against Snape’s hand.

“I wish I could have a familiar,” she sighed. “But that chance is slim, and I’ve never been a lucky person.”

“I wouldn’t get too hung up on the idea. Having a familiar isn’t as magical as it seems,” he ushered a hissing Penny away who found solitude on Hermione’s lap.

“You are too mean to her,” Hermione kissed her black head and chuckled. “I’m happy that you are Professor Snape’s familiar.”

**_“He’s tolerable.”_ **

“Oh gosh, you even sound like him,” Hermione laughed over at Snape who stared back at her in a peculiar way. “Sir?”

He shook his head. “I apologise.”

“For what?”

“Nothing,” he said. “We should go and talk to the Headmistress and see what she has to say about everything.”

“O-OK,” she stammered, slightly baffled by his strange actions. “Do you think we’ll be able to do it quickly?”

“We don’t have to stay for long —”

“No, I mean do you think it’ll be quick to deal with the Malfoys.”

His left shoulder lifted up in a weak shrug. “I’m afraid I don’t know, Miss Granger.”

_I wish he’d call me Hermione, but I’ve just managed to get us to be friends so I’m not going to push for anything else yet._

Hermione followed him out of the dungeons and made sure to keep her head down as they passed through the crowds of students. Luna walked by with an innocent smile on her face, and Hermione was grateful that she didn’t make a big deal about her return. They eventually arrived at the Headmistress’ office and Hermione was surprised to find a large group of people there.

Sniderfield. Harry. Ron. And plenty of ex-aurors.

“Hermione,” Harry hugged her and she stiffened beneath his touch, but it wasn’t enough to make her panic. Snape was quick to separate them both and he led her over to a vacant chair by McGonagall’s desk, then he leant against the wall nearby and observed the packed room.

“How are you feeling, Hermione?” McGonagall smiled sweetly.

“Fine,” she muttered. “What’s going on here?”

“We’re trying to formulate a plan to bring down the uprising within the Ministry. Lucius Malfoy can’t possibly think his reign will last long.”

Murmurs of agreement followed, then Hermione felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at Ron’s bashful face. “Everybody’s here for you.”

Out the corner of her eye she saw Snape push himself off the wall. “Don’t be silly, Ron, everybody here wants to restore order to the Ministry.” He quickly removed his hand and returned to his spot behind her. She still hasn’t forgiven him for his rude letter about waiting for her to recover from being raped.

“Right, let’s get back to the discussion — you were saying Vic?”

Sniderfield stepped forward to address the group. “We’re yet to discover what Lucius’ intent is while being Minister, one can only assume that it’s not good intentions after the display at Spinner’s End,” Hermione flinched at the memory of her parents. “I had hoped that we could settle this peacefully, but the more the days pass, the more I can conclude that we’ll have to fight him.”

“One war has just ended, we don’t need another,” a young woman said.

“This isn’t exactly a war, just a necessary fight to restore order,” Vic replied. “You’re not obliged to participate, but we’ll need all the help we can get.”

Hermione noticed the worried look on McGonagall’s face, and she soon realised the woman was hiding something. _Possibly valuable information._

“What’s to say something like this won’t happen again?” Another Auror asked.

This time Harry spoke. “The people under Lucius’ command are people who indirectly supported Voldemort, so once we gather them all up we’ll have hopefully got rid of the problem ever arising again. However, I do think I know what Lucius wants out of all this.” Harry’s eyes landed on her and a cold shiver shot up her spine.

“What are you insinuating, Potter?” Professor Snape spat, coming to stand behind her.

“Hermione,” he sighed. “It can’t be a coincidence that Lucius started to plot things around the time that Draco was arrested for... well, you know, _that_.”

A few people started to ask what he meant, but no one wanted to give them a direct answer. “Then what does he want with me then?” She managed to keep her voice steady.

“Well, in his delusional mind, his son being arrested for such a crime would taint the Malfoy name even further. He’s still held in high regard within the pureblood lines, and I’m sure he hoped to carry on being held in such a regard when he got out of Azkaban.”

Her heart thudded against her chest, and the only reason why she hadn’t lashed out at Harry was because Snape was right behind her. McGonagall cleared her throat suddenly, and everyone turned to look at her.

“It’s time I was more honest about what’s been going on,” she said. “The Ministry is falling into pieces as I speak, yet there hasn’t been an uproar from the public, only people who work at the Ministry. There are a mere twenty normal wizards and witches left at the Ministry, and that number will soon dwindle down to zero. There has yet to be anarchy overthrowing the nation because no one wishes to spark another war, so it’s left to us to sort this out before the problem gets bigger.”

_Does Professor Snape know about this? Has he been keeping more things from me?_

Hermione glanced at Severus. “You’ve continued to lie to me?” He seemed shocked by her admission, especially because she asked it in front of everyone.

“Details have been kept from Severus up until this point,” Minerva walked around her desk. “Lucius has this fantasy that no one will come and challenge him, and he fails to see the complications with that. Other wizarding governments from around the world will soon start to act out if nothing is done, which is why we will face him head on. The parliament has been overrun by his friends so there’s no use going down the political route; I’m afraid we have to use force to reclaim order.”

“Will Kingsley return to being Minister?” Ron asked.

Minerva shook her head. “He escaped the country after David Cole ambushed him. He’s in serious danger if he returns, and he’s expressed to me that he doesn’t wish to return for a while.”

“Then who will take his place?” Harry stepped forward and placed his hand on the back of Hermione’s chair.

“I have no idea,” she replied. “But this is something we have to do, immediately. People should be able to return to their workplace within a week, and hopefully, things will return to normal.”

“This is all my fault,” Hermione whispered.

“No it’s not, ‘Mione,” Harry crouched down by the chair.

“Yes it is,” she hissed. “You even said it yourself, Lucius wouldn’t be doing this if Malfoy hadn’t...this is my fault.”

“I didn’t mean it like that —” a shadow loomed over him and Hermione sensed Snape’s presence.

“Move along, Potter, before you dig yourself a deeper hole.”

“Stay out of this, Snape!”

“This also isn’t the place for arguing amongst one another,” McGonagall said. “I’m giving us a time limit of two days to think of a plan, that will take us to the weekend, then we can get this over with.”

Heads nodded in agreement, and McGonagall guided the majority of the group from her office. Hermione stared at the few people who remained, and she began to wonder why none of the remaining Order had been invited to the gathering. _Perhaps McGonagall is right when she says people don’t wish to be involved in another fight._

“Hermione, can we talk alone,” Harry glared in Snape’s direction.

“I’m afraid not,” she got to her feet. “Professor Snape and I have to figure out a plan, just like you have to Harry.”

“But, I feel like we haven’t spoken in so long—”

Snape came to stand by her side. “That would be due to lack of effort on your part, oh, and Weasley’s insulting letter.”

“What?” Ron said, confused as to what Snape meant.

“Leave it be,” she whispered to Snape, but he shook his head at her.

“I’ve been hoping to see you again, Weasley,” he stepped closer to her quivering friend who did his best to level the menacing glare of the potion master. Hermione quickly put herself between the two and placed a hand on Snape’s chest.

“It doesn’t matter right now, we’ve got bigger things to worry about.”

“What letter?” Vic asked.

“The letter Mister Weasley sent saying that he was willing to wait until I patched up his friend, so they can be together again.”

Ron furrowed his brow. Harry let out a whine and smacked his hand against his forehead. And Vic smirked. “You never were smart with words,” Vic said, and Harry hit his arm.

“Oh,” Ron open and closed his mouth. “Is that why you sent a confusing letter in response?”

Hermione smiled up at Snape as she remembered the long, articulate response they created together. “Yes, Ron, you hurt my feelings. Professor Snape is my friend and you insulted him as well as me. He’s not just around to pick up the pieces so I can return to you all patched up and polished — I have no desire to be with someone after what Malfoy did, and I’m sure as Hell not going to be with someone who doesn’t want to be around me while life gets serious.”

He glanced down at the floor. “I’m...sorry, Hermione, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just meant that I still, you know, care about you. I don’t see you as damaged goods or anything like that; it doesn’t matter to me what Malfoy did to you, you’re still Hermione to me and I love you.”

Hermione gasped. _It doesn’t matter what Malfoy did to me? Of course it matters, and he shouldn’t have any need to say such a thing when it bloody well does matter!_

“As articulate as ever,” Snape hissed, then he placed his hand on her back. “Let’s go back to the dungeons away from this simple-minded buffoon.”

Hours later, Hermione was sat opposite Snape at his desk. Her mind was supposed to be focusing on his calculating words, but she couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d put his hand on her back in the Headmistress’ office. It didn’t cause her body to come alight just like all romance novels claimed, but she still felt odd about it. _Perhaps it's because it felt normal for him to do so?_

He was busy talking while writing things down on a piece of parchment, probably thinking it would be better to take it to the next meeting. Hermione watched his brow furrow then relax, and she became enchanted by the movement of his lips. She didn’t understand why so many people thought him to be unappealing; she wasn’t one to label somebody as God-like, but she saw something she liked when she looked at him, something she’d never seen before.

A blush flooded her cheeks as she continued to gaze at him. He didn’t seem to notice her intrusive stare, and she was glad that he hadn’t called her out on it. She liked that she could go from being angry at one of her best friends to staring at Professor Snape so peacefully.

The silence of the dungeons caused his voice to echo and his velvety voice relaxed her body and soul. The fire warmed the air around them and Hermione felt comfortable enough to rest her folded arms on his desk and place her head on the crook of her arm. She continued to watch him through loving eyes, not even bothering to think what it might mean.

Penny lounged on the desk seemingly at peace like Hermione. Her tail swished around occasionally, and Snape would sometimes reach out to pet her. _It’s like he needs reassurance that she’s still there._

A smile grew on her face as she watched his lips move as he told her his detailed plan. She could see he took pride in his ability to plan and strategise something as important as this, and she doubted anyone had seen him in such a light. Their situation was dire and serious, yet he looked relaxed and happy.

As she continued to stare at him, she remembered how she’d wanted to ask him if she could touch him. _I wonder if I should ask again?_ Instead of creating a pointless story about why she thought it was a good idea, she should just ask him outright so she could see how he truly felt about the idea.

“Sir,” her voice sounded raspy as she spoke. “Can I ask you something?”

He paused in his chair and looked her way. “Go on.”

“Can I touch you?”

The once comfortable silence changed into a mask of despair. She immediately regretted asking him such a question because he looked at her in mild disgust. _Oh...so that’s how he sees me._

“Touch me?” he put down his quill with narrowed eyes. “Why would you want to do that?”

“Because, I keep thinking about what you said to me back at Spinner’s End. Somebody’s touch may help me to feel better again, and the only person I feel comfortable around is you, sir.”

He breathed out heavily and she awaited his rejection. When he didn’t make a scathing response, she tapped her fingers against the desk and looked at his hand. With complete caution, she slowly reached out to grab his hand which rested on the desk. It was rough and warm as she held it in her smaller, softer hand. He didn’t flinch beneath her intruding touch, he only stared down at their joined hands.

It wasn’t like when the boy had touched her in the supermarket. Back then she had felt nothing when he helped her up off the floor, absolutely no reaction to being touched by him. However, there was this oddly familiar feeling she felt in her stomach when she touched Snape; it was not a mind-blowing spark that romance novels claimed could happen, it was a simple hum of something she couldn’t quite understand.

Hermione suddenly blinked quickly as a tear fell from her cheek and onto his hand. She inhaled sharply and looked up at him in shock. The expression on his face was unreadable, and it only worsened at the sight of her tears.

“I feel...I feel something,” she said innocently with a smile. “I never thought it would be like this.”

Snape let go of her hand leaving it to thump against the desk. He got to his feet abruptly and disappeared into his bedroom. Hermione watched the door slam shut with a sad smile. _I guess it could’ve gone worse_ . She shook off her sadness and sat down on the sofa where she’d been sleeping for the past week. _I’ll try again tomorrow._


	22. Chapter Twenty-One: Snape's POV

**Chapter 21: Severus’ POV.**

He couldn’t get the pained look out of his head.  _ She thought that I was lying to her again.  _ It was hard for him to know what was considered a secret or a truth when it came to her, and it only just occurred to him that Hermione wanted to know all of his secrets. He’d never had anyone in his life like that.

Severus couldn’t stand that Weasley fellow, he absolutely loathed him. He didn’t understand why she kept him around, however he understood that they’d been through a lot of things together. It’s a shame though, he’d give anything to see her kick him out of her life.

He ignored the jealousy that stirred up inside of him.

They were busy formulating a plan to attack the Ministry. Severus was trying to think of many ways they could proceed without doing damage to the building and causing harm to the few innocent workers and civilians.

However, Hermione wasn’t being of much help. He could feel her warm eyes on his face but he didn’t look up at her.  _ Why is she staring at me?  _ For a moment he assumed there was something on his face or in his hair but Penny assured him otherwise.

_ Perhaps she wants to tell me something? _ He went to look her way but Penny’s tail thumped against his hand.

**_“Leave her be.”_ **

_ “Why?” _

**_“She’s at peace.”_ **

_ “Looking at me?”  _ Severus continued to write down his ideas on the parchment.

**_“The girl adores you,”_ ** Severus scoffed in his head.  **_“It’s true, and so it should be since she’s your intended soul.”_ **

_ “I’ve told you to stop talking about that.” _

**_“But it’s the truth. I’m able to talk to the person you’re most compatible with, and whatever offsprings you produce.”_ **

_ “Offsprings! Your old age must be causing your brain to deteriorate. I’ll never have children, let alone with her.” _

**_“Why? Don’t you think she’d make a perfect mother?”_ **

_ “That’s not what I said!” _ his grip tightened around his quill.  _ “She’ll make an adequate mother, but none of her children will be sprung from me.” _

**_“Whatever you say, master,_ ** ” her ears twitched and her tail glided along the desk.

Severus continued to worry over her intruding gaze.  _ Has she finally lost her mind? I thought we were getting somewhere with her recovery!  _ A sigh escaped her lips and he paused writing the word ‘enter’.

_ What in Circe’s name is going on here? I must have something on my face! _

**_“Calm down, otherwise you’ll startle her.”_ **

_ “She’s not a bloody rabbit; I don’t picture her scurrying away if I say something!” _

Penny purred deeply.  **_“You’ve wound yourself up over nothing.”_ **

_ “I’m perfectly fine, I just want her to stop staring at me! I’m not a freak!” _

**_“Calm down, master, like I said, she adores you.”_ **

_ “Well I don’t adore her.” _

**_“Are you sure about that?”_ ** Penny wiggled her head.

_ “I’m positive, you blasted kitten!” _

Her tail thumped against his writing hand, so Severus reached out to touch her. He could feel Hermione's eyes following his movements, therefore he acted like he was simply petting her.

_ “I’ll throw you out of a window if you don’t cease your annoying words.” _

**_“Luckily cats land on their feet.”_ **

Severus was tempted to throw her into the Black Lake and see how she fares that way.  _ I do not adore the girl, she is my student.  _ He was only around to help her recover, not for anything else. Yes, they’d formed an unlikely friendship and even that was pushing the boundaries, but it wasn’t inappropriate in any way.

Still there was something that stirred in his stomach at the idea of her adoring him.  _ I’ve never been liked, let alone adored.  _ However, he continued to write, ignoring the odd feeling in his stomach. Nothing good could come from investigating the sensation.

“Sir,” he paused at the sound of her raspy voice.  _ Perhaps she’s tired?  _ “Can I ask you something?”

He paused in his chair and looked her way. “Go on.”

“Can I touch you?”

Severus went rigid in his chair.  _ Touch me? What on earth gave her the impression that I wanted to be touched.  _ A tightness laced around his heart and he stared at her with a passive look on his face. What was he supposed to say in response to such a question?

He wished for a glass of water to clear his dry throat, but he was too scared to move. Severus realised a long time ago that Hermione had some sort of hold over him. Not the type that would make him fall to his knees and worship her, but the type that made him  _ very _ aware of her words and feelings.

He took in a staggered breath. “Touch me?” Severus placed his quill on the desk and managed to force his usual scowl on his face.“Why would you want to do that?”

His eyes followed her lips as they parted slightly. “Because, I keep thinking about what you said to me back at Spinner’s End. A person’s touch may help me to feel better again, and the only person I feel comfortable around is you, sir.”

So that was the reason.  _ Curse my stupid words! I wouldn’t have said them if I’d known it would return to me to be her subject. _

He breathed out heavily and stared at her blankly.  _ What do I say now? Saying yes will cross the firm line I’ve placed between us. However, I was the one who gave her such a ridiculous idea. _

The loud sound of her fingers tapping against his desk caused a shiver to race up his spine. Was her plan to attack him?  _ I haven’t said anything in response yet; I should say something so she’ll drop the ridiculous idea. _

Suddenly, her hand slowly hovered over his, then finally came to land on it. An unplanned thrill shot throughout his body which caused him to stare blankly at their joined hands. Not a single thought rushed through his mind, and all he could do was look on with a perplexed expression on his face.

He watched as redness flooded her cheeks and he found himself thankful that he wasn’t one to blush. Something inside of him had latched onto her move of affection and he wasn’t sure he liked it. Chants of ‘crossing the line’ bounced off the walls of his mind, and he staggered out a breath trying to compose himself.

The feel of her soft hand gripping his own was an experience he never knew he wanted. They’d touched before in many ways, but they had all been urgent or as a way to comfort her. However, this time it was different because she wanted to purposefully seek out his touch to help herself recover.

Severus watched as a lone tear fell from her eye, and he inhaled sharply at the sight. _ I guess I’m always going to be repulsive…  _ The tear landed on his hand and his lip curled in disgust.

“I feel...I feel something,” she said innocently with a smile. “I never thought it would be like this.”

_ What? _

That symphony of voices screaming at him about crossing the line appeared again and he immediately let go of her hand. Had he been willingly holding it this whole time? He got to his feet quickly and rushed into his bedroom. He angrily slammed the door shut and headed into the bathroom.

The sight of his reflection in the mirror caused him to sit out of sight on the edge of the bath.  _ Disgusting. I’m disgusting. _


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Chapter 22**

Two days later, the majority of the group surrounded McGonagall’s desk to look over a stolen floor plan of the Ministry. One of the few remaining workers had grabbed the detailed record before they left and handed it over to her cousin to aid in their plan. Professor Snape was leading the conversation alongside Sniderfield, and occasionally Harry would speak up, but Snape soon brushed him off. Hermione started to find it funny that Harry was saying complicated words and long sentences to show off his intelligence to his ex-professor, who scowled at him and did his best to speak over him whenever he spoke.

_ The past two days have been filled with awkward silences between Snape and I. _ Most of the silence was his doing, but she still found it rather amusing. He wasn’t being cruel or spitting out venomous words, however, he seemed to be more conscious of her person now. She wanted to hold his hand more, however she’d decided to wait to try it again. _ I don’t want him to explode.  _ Penny had briefly hinted that his reaction to her touch wasn’t because he was repulsed by her, so she saw that as a good sign.

She watched the variety of people point at the map and put forward their ideas. At the moment, it looked like they would be heading in at night thanks to a tip off from one of the other workers remaining there. Apparently, a lot of Lucius’ men, including the Malfoys, reside there at night — clearly too scared to abandon the Ministry.

Hermione decided not to get involved with the complex talk. She already felt it was her fault that Lucius was doing all of this, but she knew better than to voice that opinion.

Ron kept sending her smiles from across the room whenever she caught his eye, but she dismissed him. She’d reconcile with him after the Ministry was back to normal.  _ There’s too much to focus on. _

“So we’ve established that we’ll go ahead with the attack at night,” McGonagall said. “We should now decide our groups.”

“Do you think groups would be wise?” An Auror asked.

“Going together in one big group will put all of us in danger immediately, so we need to go into the Ministry in separate ways to cause Lucius and his friends to split up.”

Sniderfield started to count everyone in the group. “There are twenty of us all together, and three of us are Aurors, so which should split up into three groups.”

“Why not four groups?” a young woman asked. “Each will have five people so every group has the same amount.”

“But we should have a professional in each—“

Hermione cut off Sniderfield. “There are people in this room who fought in a war; I assure you they can handle themselves without an Auror.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you, Hermione, you are a war hero, so of course you can handle yourself.”

“I was trying to be discreet, but I meant that Professor Snape is more than capable of leading a group,” only Hermione saw his eyes widen slightly, and she couldn’t fight the smile from her face.

_ Snape has more experience than anyone in this room, even though it contains Harry. I have faith that he could lead all twenty of us. _

A few people cast suspicious looks his way, including McGonagall. Snape held his head up high under everyone’s scrutiny and awaited Sniderfield’s comments.

“Very well,” Sniderfield glanced at Harry. “You can lead the fourth group.”

“Let’s sort out who’s going with who,” Harry said. “Hermione do you want to be in my group or Ron’s?”

“She’ll be with me.”

Everyone turned to look at Snape, including Hermione. The demand in his voice caused something to flutter in her stomach, and she immediately sat up straight in the chair.

Harry narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think that’s wise—“

“I’m going with Professor Snape.”

McGonagall cleared her throat. “Let’s not make a big deal out of this; Hermione you should go with Harry or Ron, it’s for the best.”

“And how do you justify that?”

Everyone focused on their exchange, and Hermione heard Snape sigh loudly. Why was it that she couldn’t have a conversation with the Headmistress?  _ Oh, that’s right, it’s because she always has to insult Professor Snape. _

McGonagall glanced at Snape with a sigh. “I just think it would be better, for both of you.”

“It’s my choice,” Hermione said. “And I wish to be with Professor Snape.”

“I guess there’s no changing your mind then,” McGonagall didn’t look pleased with her decision, and Hermione knew that she wouldn’t push her view any further while they had an audience.

Sniderfield clapped his hands together. “Right, let’s sort out the groups.”

An hour later, Hermione followed Snape back down into the dungeons thinking over their plans for tomorrow night.  _ I can’t believe it’s happening so soon. _ There was nothing she wanted more than to know that the Malfoys would be put away for their crimes. 

They walked into his quarters and Hermione expected him to disappear from her sight; he’d done it a lot more since she held his hand, but to her surprise, he took off his robe and readied his wand in his hand. He turned around with a fierce look on his face, leaving her to stare back in bemusement.

“Sir?”

“I propose that we have a duel,” he said. “I want to see if you need some more practise.”

“I can handle myself,” she replied meekly.

“I don’t doubt your ability to defend yourself, but you and I have been away from fighting for a while now,” he stepped closer. “Both of us need practise.”

There was no offence taken by his suggestion to practise, she just felt unprepared for what was to happen tomorrow.  _ People might die.  _ Hermione thought about Ron immediately.  _ I have to talk to him, right now. _

“Professor, I need to go and talk to Ron,” Hermione didn’t give him a chance to respond as she fled the dungeons to find him.

It didn’t take her long to find both Ron and Harry in the Entrance Hall. “Wait!” she called out, then they turned to look at her.

Even though she wanted to brood over things further, now wasn’t the time to do so.  _ I have to make sure they know that I love them both, just in case something bad happens tomorrow. _

Ron moved towards her first, and before he could open his mouth to say something, she threw her arms around his neck. “I’m not mad,” she whispered in his ear.

He stilled briefly but soon wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry for what I did.”

She shook her face in his neck. “I forgive you.” Hermione pulled away with a smile. “I just want you two to know that I love you.”

Harry laughed and nudged Ron’s arm. “She’s getting all sentimental on us.”

Hermione crossed her arms. “Tomorrow will be tough on all of us, and I don’t think I could survive without letting the pair of you know that you mean everything to me.”

“Nothing bad is going to happen, ‘Mione,” Harry pulled her into his arms. “We love you too.”

“Speak for yourself mate,” Ron chuckled when Hermione hit his arm. “Yeah yeah, I guess I love you too.”

“Good!” She grinned at them both. “After this is over we should do something together. It’s been so long since we’ve been around one another without talking about serious things.”

“I could do with a holiday,” Harry suggested.

“That sounds great,” Hermione began to calculate a plan in her head.

Ron laughed. “Shouldn’t have suggested that, Harry, she’ll owl us a detailed plan by tomorrow.”

“Shut up!” she exclaimed with a blush. “I have to go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” They both responded with a “goodbye” and watched her disappear towards the dungeons.

Hermione opened the door to Snape's office with a smile on her face. She greeted him with beaming words, but her smile faltered at the sight of him glaring at her from his desk.

“Sir?”

“I did my best not to forcefully assert rules upon you, but I thought I made it  _ very  _ clear about going places on your own.”

Her eyes widened at his dull tone.  _ He’s angry with me, very angry.  _ She approached his desk and sat down opposite him.

“I’m sorry, sir, I just had to make sure everything was OK with Ron and Harry,” she explained. “My head got all fuzzy and I acted impulsively; I didn’t mean to run off like that.”

“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t mean to do it, you still did it,” he tapped his fingers on the desk. “Disobedience may cost you your life tomorrow night.”

Anger flared up inside of her, but she managed to stop her flaming words from exploding out. There was no point in arguing with him right now; there was too much that could go wrong tomorrow and she didn’t want her last memories to be of them fighting.

“Again, I apologise,” she said. “The thought of something happening to me or Harry and Ron tomorrow made me want to tell them that I love them.”

His jaw tightened. “Your love confessions couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“I wouldn’t call them love confessions, sir, they both know that I love them but I wanted to say it to them just in case something bad happens.”

Snape’s eyes locked with hers. “You feel as if something will happen to you tomorrow?”

She shrugged. “There’s no way to know the outcome.”

“Is there anyone else you wish to confess your love to, or will you just continue to run off whenever you feel like it?”

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. “Have I upset you?”

“No,” he inhaled through his teeth. “However just because things will be ending tomorrow, doesn’t mean you can act like you’re no longer in danger.”

Hermione reached across the desk and grabbed his hand. She recalled the last time she’d done it, but this time it wasn’t about discovering whether she felt something when she touched him, now, she wanted to give him comfort.

He looked away from her and stared at their joined hands. “Why are you doing this?” he asked.

“The only other person I want to confess to is you, Professor Snape.”

His eyes darkened as he looked back into her eyes. “Excuse me?”

She used both her hands to grab his own and squeeze it tight. “You’ve done so much for me —  some may consider it too much — and I need you to know how much you mean to me. I know that hearing this will be hard for you because of the boundaries between us, yet, I don’t care if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I wouldn’t be where I am right now without your guidance. Just thinking about the numerous outcomes that could have occurred scares me, but I know that this was the best option for me — you are the best option for me. The thought of something happening to you tomorrow terrifies me, which is why I have to tell you that you mean the world to me, even if you don’t believe it or do not care to hear it, I’m selfish enough to force it upon you.”

Hermione smiled then let go of his hand. She looked away from his blank stare and focused on Penny. Thoughts of her and Snape being intended souls caused her to frown; it was a ridiculous fantasy that she shouldn’t latch on to since it would only end up in heartbreak for her.

Snape cleared his throat and got to his feet. Hermione expected him to flee to his bedroom like last time, but he took out his wand with a sigh. “Get up. It’s time for you to practise your shields and fighting spells.”

Hermione followed his orders and they spent most of the evening duelling. They ate dinner in silence and he muttered a ‘goodnight’ to her before he disappeared to his bedroom for the night. Hermione was left alone on the sofa to watch the flames fizzle out in the fireplace. Her mind fell silent as she gazed up at the plain ceiling and stroked the scar on her left wrist.

She hoped that tomorrow would bring about the end of the Malfoys, and she could only pray to whatever was out there that she would make it through the fight with everyone she loved.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Chapter 23**

She’d been awoken by Professor Snape in many ways: back at Spinner’s End he would knock on the bedroom door or call her name, and her time spent sleeping on his sofa had been no different — the harsh awakening usually came from his desk though. However, as she opened her eyes the next morning, she found him towering over her. She sat up straight with a panicked look on her face.

“What’s going on?”

“Come with me,” he headed towards the door without another word. Hermione gathered her thoughts for a moment then hurried after him.

She went to grab her cloak but he took hold of her wrist, a little too roughly, and pulled her out into the dim corridor. Hermione opened her mouth to scold him for his outlandish behaviour, however, the seriousness on his face made her stop.

_ Something has gone wrong with the plan. _ That’s the only thing that made sense to her. Why else would he be dragging her from his chambers in such a hurry?  _ Has Hogwarts been compromised? _

_ No, surely not, there would be more of a commotion. _

Hermione stumbled behind him as he pulled her up and out of the dungeons and towards the Entrance Hall. It was on the cusp of sunrise outside and the chilly air caused goosebumps to spread over her exposed arms.

She glanced down at her sock covered feet then grabbed onto his cloak.

“Stop!” She pulled hard and he whirled around to glare at her. “I’m cold, sir. I don’t even have a pair of shoes on.”

He moved closer to her face. “We don’t have enough time.”

“Enough time? What’s going on?” He started to pull her along again and she yelped in pain as something sharp cut her left foot. She kept calling out for him to stop but he seemed content on pulling her along.

When they reached the gates, he quickly laced an arm around her waist. Her usual reaction to his touch didn’t flood her body, so she narrowed her eyes up at him. There was something missing from them.

She remembered the panic in his eyes when the safe house had been attacked. She recalled the pain that consumed them when Lucius had reduced her to a sobbing mess in the doorway of Spinner’s End.

“Oh,” she pushed herself from his hold and stumbled backwards. “You aren’t Professor Snape.”

The cold hand of her professor grasped her neck and she latched onto his wrist. “Took you long enough.”

She kicked the unknown person in between his legs, and his startled grunt caused his hold to loosen. She broke free and took off running towards the castle. Her hand unconsciously reached down to her feet to grab her wand, but she remembered that it was under the pillow on the sofa.

“Bugger!”

The stones cut open her feet as she headed towards the castle. She screamed for help with the hope that one of the ghosts would inform the Headmistress, but her painfully slow run came to an end when the intruder hit her with a simple spell to knock her unconscious.

* * *

 

_ My head. _

Hermione's eyes fluttered open and she lifted her head from the concrete floor. The cold air caused shivers to shoot up her exposed back and she glanced down at her white bra.  _ What? _ She sat up and turned to stare at the bars that enclosed her in a cell.

She moved onto her knees and wiped at her dusty pyjama trousers. The dirty floor scratched at her feet, and she pulled off her filthy socks. She gritted her teeth and brushed some of the dirt from her cut feet. She eventually pushed herself onto weak knees, and shuffled over to the rusty bars and pressed her face against them.

“H-Hello?” She finished with a whimper.

“Hermione?”

Her eyes widened. “Vic?”

Hermione moved over to the right end of the bars and could just about see Sniderfield’s hands around the bars of his cell.

“Where are we?” she asked.

“I don't know. I was leaving Harry’s home when someone got me from behind.”

“What?”

“They were all wearing masks and cloaks. My guess is that they're friends of Minister Lucius. My understudies have vanished off the face of the earth, so I’m assuming they have something to do with it.” His long explanation caused her to worry her bottom lip.

“Professor Snape awoke me in a panic, he dragged me outside then I realised that it wasn’t him.”

“Fuck,” Vic muttered. “So where are they keeping Severus?”

“I don’t know,” tears started to sting her eyes. “What if they’ve hurt him?”

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t worry about it. He’s a strong man, and he’ll do everything he can to find you,” it didn’t ease her worries, and her tears started to fall warmly down her cheeks.

“B-But what if something has happened to him,” her hands started to shake. “He might need our help.”

“Try not to think about it right now,” he said. “We need to find a way out.”

Hermione tried to gain control of her tears. The thought of something happening to Professor Snape terrified her.  _ He would fight with everything he has to get me back, so it’s my turn to fight for him. _

She wiped away her tears and glanced around her cell.  _ I have to think of a plan to rescue him _ . McGonagall should know by now that something was terribly wrong, especially since Lucius and his men managed to compromise Professor Snape.

The cold breeze of the dungeon caused her to shiver, and she remembered her bare state.  _ Why did they take off my top?  _ She didn’t want to think that they might contemplate assaulting her, but since Draco was involved somehow, she knew that it might be a possibility.

She shook her head and cleared thoughts of Draco from her mind. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on it; she needed to keep a clear mind and escape.

“They took off my top.”

He didn't reply for a few seconds. “Do you have any injuries?”

Hermione glanced over her body then reached up to touch her throbbing head. She could feel a lump forming at the back of her skull. “No.”

“Good,” he sighed. “I don’t suppose you know any wandless magic?”

“I’m afraid not,” she glanced at the metal door opposite her cell. “I can’t hear any guards.”

“Me neither,” she heard Vic pacing around his cell. “Why would they kidnap us now? Someone must’ve tipped them off, but who?”

“Perhaps it’s a coincidence,” she said. “They were bound to come for us sooner or later.”

“I suppose so. It just doesn’t explain why they put us two together? They must need something from Severus.”

Hermione’s heart thundered in her chest at the possibility. Lucius hated Severus for a reason that she didn’t know of, and she believed that he would do a slow and painful job of taking out his anger on him.  _ They might be hurting him right now, and I’m just sat here doing nothing. _

She wanted to be near him all the time; it might be because they are intended souls, but even she knew the difference between being intended and  _ needing _ someone by your side.

“Penny!” She suddenly said aloud. “Professor Snape's familiar must be around somewhere!”

“Does Lucius know that he has a familiar?”

She shook her head even though he couldn’t see her. “Definitely not, people just think she’s his normal cat.”

“What would she do first?”

“Perhaps she has informed McGonagall about our disappearance?” She worried her bottom lip. “But a part of me knows that she secretly followed Professor Snape — wherever he is.”

“Or she might be tracking us?” Vic offered. “Her abilities might be limited if Lucius and his men are with him.”

“You might be right,” Hermione inspected her damaged feet.

_ I won’t be able to do much running unless I get my feet healed. _

Vic made a funny noise as she rested her head against the bars. “I just don’t understand why they didn’t take Harry. They must’ve known I was at his house, so why didn’t they attack then?”

“We’re probably the only people they wish to do...well whatever they plan on doing to us. The Malfoy name was shamed after his arrest for...raping me…Lucius doesn’t like Professor Snape, and it probably angered Lucius more that he was helping me.”

“What about me?”

“Your understudies probably told him of your involvement in everything, especially your relationship with Harry. You’re useful leverage.”

“Fuck,” he whispered. “I never thought of that.”

She inhaled sharply from the cold air and rubbed her arms roughly. “I’m cold.”

“Here, take my jacket,” she awkwardly put her hand through the bars and managed to grip his jacket with her fingertips.

“Thank you,” she slipped it on and pulled it around herself tightly.

They stayed in silence for a long time. Her panicked mind didn't ease but at least her shivers did.  _ I hope Professor Snape is all right. _

She started to draw patterns in the dust gathering on the floor. A square turned into a house, then flowers found their way around it. Hermione stared at her happy little home and thought back to her mum and dad.

_ I miss them. _

Her bottom lip quivered.  _ I miss my dad’s hugs and my mum’s soft words...I wish there was a way to bring them back! _

“Do you hear that?” Hermione jumped in fright at Vic’s sudden words.

“Hear what?” she got to her feet and tried to filter through the wind blowing around the dungeons.

“Birds,” he said. “I think we're in the woods.”

Hermione finally heard the faint tweeting of numerous birds.  _ Great, no one will ever find us.  _ She accidentally destroyed her dusty image and stared blankly at her feet. The pain had gone numb in them, but her head continued to throb.

“The breeze must be coming from somewhere. Can you see a gap?”

She pressed her face up against the bars to see down the long corridor, and just as she was about to respond with a “no”, she spotted a small barred window. “I see one.”

“No glass?”

“No glass,” she smiled a little. “And big enough for a cat to slide through.”

“Don’t suppose you are an animagus?”

She had to laugh at that. “Nope. It seems we’re both lacking the magical talents that could help us easily escape.”

“Professor Snape isn’t an animagus, but I’m sure he knows wandless magic,” she explained. “I’ve witnessed him do it in small doses, like stirring the spoon in his teacup.”

“No wonder they kept us apart.”

Hermione hoped that Penny was trying to track them down.  _ She’s the only one who can move around easily without being caught.  _ Someone human had to know they were missing by now since she could see that it was bright outside.

The pair continued to brood in their cells. Occasionally Hermione would trace the scars on her wrists, recalling the tender way Professor Snape treated her after the incident. He still made her heart race whenever she looked at him, and reminiscing about their time spent together was doing nothing to solve her feelings.

_ I still can’t believe I’ve kissed his cheek and held his hand. _ Such things were mediocre for some people, including her, but Snape was an enigma unlikely to let any come near to touch him. 

She knew better than to voice her feelings to him.  _ He’ll think I only like him because he offered me help in my time of need.  _ He was too predictable to Hermione, and it gave her an advantage so she knew to not be offended by his harsh words.

“Footsteps!” Vic exclaimed, and Hermione looked at the door just as it opened.

The familiar body strolled in with his long blond hair. She expected to see his elegant cane, and she wished that’s what he came in holding, instead of the black dagger in his hand.

Hermione watched him closely as he disappeared towards Vic’s cell. She heard the sound of a struggle which soon ended when Vic was thrown in front of her cell. She shuffled over to the bars and gripped them tight.

“Pleasure to see you again, Granger.”

She narrowed her eyes. “What do you want?”

Vic got to his knees and lowered his head. She kept her eyes on Lucius’ hands as he waved the dagger about.

“This blade is very special,” he said. “They call it the Voodoo Knife.”

Hermione could only hazard a guess as to what that meant, but Vic seemed to know exactly what it was. His eyes widened and he glanced over his shoulder at Lucius.

“All I have to do is get a drop of someone’s blood on the blade, and whoever I use it on next will act as a Voodoo Doll for the other person,” he grabbed Vic by his hair and placed the blade at his throat.

Hermione tried to reach for Vic through the bars, but he was just out of reach.

“Who is it connected too?” She asked, and Lucius smirked down at Vic.

“Our dearest Potter came racing out after you left his house holding a forgotten bag in his hand,” he clicked his tongue. “It was such a shame when he was briefly attacked, returning to his home with nothing but a single cut on his arm. I bet he’s frantically trying to find you right now, Sniderfield, not even realising that his blood was put on such a blade.”

That only meant one thing.  _ If he cuts Vic then Harry will get the same injury. _

Hermione knew that the only way she could help Vic was to distract Lucius for as much time as possible. “Why are you doing this?”

“Why not?”

Hermione gritted her teeth. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“I enjoy causing pain, and what’s a better way to do that than to go after my enemies.”

“You’ve created your own enemies,” Hermione said. “Vic has nothing to do with this!”

She watched Lucius’ hold tighten around the handle of the blade. “His understudies proved to be useful, him not so much. I don’t like people digging into my business and telling that information to the likes of you.”

“We…” Vic’s voice wavered as Lucius pressed the knife harder against his throat. “We wouldn’t be in this situation if your son hadn’t raped Hermione.”

Lucius tutted in response, and Hermione screamed as he brought the knife away from Vic’s throat and plunged it into his stomach. Vic could only grunt from the sudden knife in his gut, and when Lucius pulled it out, he was tossed against the bars of Hermione’s cell.

She scrambled to pull off the jacket he’d given her then pressed it to his wound. She had to press her body up against the bars of her cell to put enough pressure on his injury. Hermione glanced up in time to see Lucius leaving the dungeon with the bloody dagger in his hand.

“You’re going to be OK,” Hermione moved his hair from his face with a shaking hand. “I need you to stay awake for me.”

Vic’s body started trembling as sweat and heat consumed his skin. Hermione kept one hand on his forehead, only to realise that there was nothing she could do to cool him down. They were already in the frigid dungeon which wasn’t doing anything for his temperature.

Blood seeped through the jacket and her fingers, causing her own body to tremble. She had no idea what to do.

**_“Hermione!”_ **

Her eyes widened and she glanced over at the small window down the corridor. Penny slithered through the bars and leapt down. “Penny!” she screeched. “Help!”

The feline rushed over and hovered by Vic’s wound. “Lucius stabbed him — the knife is connected to Harry, he’s hurt too!”

**_“Calm down,”_ ** she said.  **_“Help is on the way.”_ **

“How can I calm down? Harry and Vic are hurt — and I don’t know where he is!”

**_“Who?”_ **

“Severus!”

It sounded weird to say his name aloud, but now wasn’t the time to think over it.

**_“He’s here somewhere, I tracked Lucius and his men here and saw them with Severus. There wasn’t much I could do to aid him, but I’d know if something bad happened to him.”_ **

“Are you sure?”

**_“Positive, my dear.”_ **

“H-Hermione…” Vic tried to grab her wrist but his body was too weak to lift up his hand.

“Shh, save your energy—”

“Harry… tell him that I love him...if he makes it, just m-make sure you tell him...please…”

“You’ll see him again,” she stroked his sweaty brow. “Help is on the way.”

“Tell him…”

Hermione stared down at him with tears in her eyes. “OK,” she bit down on her bottom lip. “I’ll tell him—”

A loud explosion shook the dust from the ceiling. Hermione glanced up in surprise then her ears focused on the rapid sound of footsteps. “Hide!” she yelled at Penny, who raced off down the hall. Hermione kept pressure on Vic’s wound when Lucius flung open the door with his wand.

Two men stood behind him with blank expressions. However, Lucius looked panicked. He opened her cell door and the two men hurried in to grab her. She managed to punch one of them before they dragged her from her cell kicking and screaming. She tried to escape their holds but she was too weak to flee them both.

Hermione managed to catch a glimpse of Vic’s bloody body just as the door shut behind them.

The men continued to drag her down the corridor while Lucius led the way. They headed further underground until they arrived at a corridor with a single flame to light the way. Hermione could hear the distant sounds of a fight coming from a few floor ups, and she prayed that they would reach Vic in time.

A heavily bolted door unlocked itself with a tap of Lucius’ cane and she was tossed inside. Her bare back cut open as she glided along the rubble covered floor. She cried out in pain, and reached up to grab the large gash that had opened on her arm. Hermione turned to glare at Lucius but a pair of familiar arms immediately latched onto her and she was pulled back against a firm chest.

“How heroic,” Lucius laughed, and Hermione relaxed briefly in Professor Snape’s arms. He quickly wrapped his dirty robe around her body, and she adjusted it so it covered some of her exposed body.

Suddenly, she realised that the arms she once thought to be strong were incredibly weak. A cold forehead slumped against her shoulder just as the warmth of blood soaked her back. She shuffled around on her knees and caught Snape before he could thud onto the floor. His body was covered in open wounds, all of them seemed to be deep and in dire need of attention — attention that she, once again, found herself incapable of giving.

“W-What have you done to him?!” She screeched over her shoulder at Lucius.

“We had a little disagreement.”

“N-No…” her shaking hand rested against his pale cheek

Another loud blast shook the room, and Lucius let out a frustrated yell. He whirled around and fled the dark room with his two men. Hermione listened to the door lock behind him then focused on Snape.

“S-Sir,” she whispered. “Wake up…”

She could see his eyes moving behind his lids, but he continued to twitch in his unconscious state. Hermione inhaled sharply, “Fuck!” she yelled.

The room was much colder than the cell she’d been put in, and her lack of layers caused her skin to turn blue. She kept a tight hold on Snape and tried to inspect some of his wounds. Blood found its way all over her skin and clothes, and no matter how hard she pressed the slashes, he didn't wake up.

“Sir…” she whimpered. “Severus, open your eyes.”

The light sound of footsteps sent a shiver up her spine; she listened to the bolts unlock and unconsciously tightened her hold on Snape. She waited for the door to creak open before she turned to see who it was. Her hold immediately loosened, and she quickly lowered Snape to the floor.

Her healing process hadn’t quite reached the stage of what she’d do if she ever saw  _ him _ again. Professor Snape has taught her how to be herself again, but nothing could’ve prepared her to see Draco Malfoy once more.

Her eyes slowly moved to the wand in his hand. Lucius’ knife would’ve been more intimidating, however, even she knew that Malfoy could be cruel with his hexes. She wouldn’t be surprised if he was ready to throw the killing curse her way.

_ I have to protect Severus _ .

There wasn’t much at her disposal, apart from the rubble that had fallen from the brittle ceiling. She glanced down at a fairly large rock, large enough that it would be a heavy blow if it hit him. Malfoy followed her eyes then smiled.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Hermione swallowed hard. “Why not?”

“I’d be able to cast the killing curse on Severus before you could hit me with it.”

She tried to shield Snape’s body, but she just wasn’t long enough to conceal him from harm.  _ I need him to wake up.  _ He was the only person she knew that could possibly be able to do wandless magic, especially magic that could cause someone harm.

Malfoy’s threat didn’t stop her from trying though.

Hermione lunged for the rock just as Malfoy raced forward and kicked her hard in the stomach. She landed on her back gasping for oxygen, and he moved to tower over her.

“I did warn you,” he pointed his wand at her. “It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

Hermione gritted her teeth, refusing to give into the emotional agony that wished to take over. Now wasn’t the time to get upset over what he did, she needed to get Professor Snape out of this wretched place.

_ I can’t let him die. _

“He’s going to die here,” he said. “Either from those wounds or someone else’s hands.”

She narrowed her eyes. “He was nothing but kind to you. He stuck out his neck to get you a place to stay, and he managed to persuade the educational board to let you back into Hogwarts!”

“Yet, he refuses to join the Malfoys during their reign.”

“Yes, well he’s not a monster like you!” She glanced at Malfoy’s wand. “He’s a good man.”

“But he’s done bad things, just like me,” he tutted. “We’re both the same, yet you dislike me and not him.”

“Don’t you ever compare yourself to him! He’s a greater man than you’ll ever be!” She moved to sit up but he slammed his foot down on her chest.

“Don’t move, otherwise he dies.”

She lay still on the cold floor with a venomous look in her eyes. At least his bare skin wasn’t touching her. She could deal with his leather covered foot on her chest. However, she didn’t like how little Snape’s robe covered her skin.

_ Don’t think about that night _ , she muttered in her mind,  _ it won’t help you get out of this alive _ .

“You seem rather obsessed with him,” he chuckled. “Let me guess...he’s stolen your heart and you’re in love with him? Am I right?”

“I don’t believe that’s any of your business.”

“Just as I thought,” he said. “You do.”

A painful silence followed.

She tried to avoid looking him in the eyes, knowing that whatever she might see would remind her of that night. Malfoy continued to press his foot down on her chest, but it wasn’t enough to stop her from breathing.

“What do you want?”

He smirked. “A repeat of that passionate Halloween night.”

Her body stilled.  _ Don’t think about it _ , she chanted in her mind,  _ that’s what he wants.  _ She tilted her head to the side and saw the large stone nearby. Malfoy followed her eyes, and before he could react, she pushed his foot off her chest and kicked him hard between his legs. He stumbled back with a whine and she scurried on her hands and knees to reach the rock.

Hermione turned to look at him in her triumph, only to be thrown against the wall. The oxygen fled her lungs as she landed on the floor, and she reached up to touch the new wound on the back of her head.

“You stupid bitch!” He snapped. “My father promised me I could keep you, but if you continue acting the way you are I’ll keep you locked up in a dungeon for the rest of your life!”

She stared at the fresh blood on her fingers.  _ Fight...I’m going to have to fight him...without a wand _ . Hermione wasn’t about to fall prey to him once more. Professor Snape’s efforts weren’t going to be wasted by her giving in and letting Malfoy take her away.

_ I have to protect Professor Snape. _

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” she whispered. “I’d rather die.”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re dead or alive.”

Bile rose in her throat, but she managed to push away her disgust and glare at him. She pushed herself to her weak knees, very aware that Snape’s robe had slipped off her shoulders revealing her exposed chest.

He raised his wand to fire another spell her way, but she threw herself to the floor as it shattered against the wall. She took advantage of his startled state and tackled him to the floor. He landed awkwardly on his arm and she heard the sound of a bone breaking, along with his wand.

She inwardly cursed at herself knowing that she would’ve been able to cast a weak healing charm on Snape if she’d used Malfoy’s wand.

Malfoy cried out in agony and Hermione scrambled off him at the sight of his bent arm. She put her hand to her mouth when a gag pulled at her throat. He managed to get to his feet holding his broken arm; his flushed cheeks and shiny eyes told her that he was livid.

Hermione got to her feet and slowly moved back towards Snape’s body. She glanced down to see his lips had turned blue and his skin was almost grey.  _ Holy shit. _

“Just leave!” Her chest rose rapidly for oxygen. “I don’t care if you run away and they never find you again, just go!”

Sweat covered his forehead and she could see he was struggling to stay standing. A part of her knew that she could easily knock him unconscious, but she wasn’t sure if she had the guts to do it.

_ After everything he did to me, why shouldn’t I be able to cause him pain? _

“You’re trying to get me to leave so you can take Severus to safety,” he seethed through gritted teeth. “I’m not stupid.”

“So you plan to take me away with a broken arm?” Hermione kept her eyes on him. “I’d like to see you try.”

Malfoy lowered his good hand to his shoe and pulled out a blade. A sickening smile appeared on his face.

She took in a staggered breath then dived out of the way as he lunged at her. The open door was the only way for her to escape with a chance of disarming him, so she took off running into the dark corridor.

A painful warmth flooded her feet, and her head injury caused her eyes to blur when her feet hit the ground too hard. She listened to Malfoy struggle to keep up with her as she took erratic turns to escape him.

_ I need something to use against him— _

Hermione collided with a tall frame, sending them both to the floor in a pile of grunts. She looked up at the sound of something narrow and light hitting the cold stone: Lucius’ cane.

She grabbed it before Lucius could come to his senses, and swung the cane just as Malfoy came charging around the corner. He fell to the floor almost comically, and she smirked at the sight of him unconscious on the floor.

The knife lay nearby so she picked it up and turned to point it at Lucius. He used the wall to help himself stand up, and she saw his dishevelled and bloody state. The fight upstairs had gone quiet a long time ago; she wasn’t sure whether Lucius being here was a good sign.

“What have you done?” He grunted in pain. “Draco?”

“Don’t worry, your precious son isn’t dead—“

“I never doubted his ability to defend himself against a mere woman—“

“—yet,” Hermione walked closer keeping the knife pointed at him.

He tilted his head. “You aren’t capable of killing somebody in cold blood.”

“That would be true if you’d only done something to harm me,” she said. “It seems people can do whatever they want to me and I won’t retaliate, but you see, you’ve hurt my friends and killed my parents. I’m sure your murder would be justified.”

Lucius started to laugh, so Hermione poked him hard with the cane causing him to topple over clutching his stomach. She had no idea what she was going to do next, but it wasn’t escaping her notice that she needed to act fast to save Snape.

_ I need to knock him out...or kill him. _

A chill shot up her spine and she heard someone approach her from behind. In her panicked state of mind, she whirled around swinging her knife until it embedded itself into the offender.

Hermione let out a startled gasp and pulled out the knife just as blood began to seep from Malfoy's mouth. Her throat clenched to keep herself from vomiting as she watched him fall to the floor cupping his side. Lucius yelled from behind her and she stumbled out of the way to let him fall at his son’s side. Her back hit the wall and she reached up with both hands to grab her hair.

Fighting using a wand was much different to a weapon. A person rarely heard the wounds they inflicted, but all Hermione could hear was the squelching sound the knife had made as she pulled it out. She watched on with a pounding heart as Lucius cradled his dying son in his arms; guilt was yet to consume her, and she doubt it ever would.

_ I just killed him...he’s dead...I killed him... _

Hermione couldn’t allow Lucius time to grieve, so she picked up his cane and hit him hard over the head. He slumped to the floor in a heap of robes and blood, then Hermione staggered away and around the corner.

Her body got over the shock of killing Malfoy pretty easily, and she soon focused on getting back to Snape. She clenched her jaw to get through the pain as she ran on cut feet down the dimly lit hall. Her vision went in and out of focus, reminding her that she had a nasty gash at the back of her head.

She arrived at the cell and stood in the doorway. He lay unmoving on the cold floor looking more blue than when she’d left him. She slowly walked over and fell to her knees at his side. The torn robe he’d given her wouldn’t help much, but she still pressed it to the main cuts on his chest.

“Wake up, sir,” she whispered. “Please, wake up.”

He shifted beneath her touch, and she smiled when his eyes started to open. She helped him sit up against the hall, much to his grunted protests, and stayed by his side to keep pressure on his wounds. She watched him glance around through narrowed eyes and she waited for him to focus on her.

However, she saw the life slowly fading from them.

“Look at me!” she raised her bloody hands to his face. “I don’t want you to die, so I need you to hold on.” Her tears dropped onto his torn clothes and she searched his eyes for any sign of hope. “Y-You can’t die…” she whimpered, and his eyes closed for longer than she deemed appropriate. “Keep your eyes open!”

She could tell he was grasping onto the straws of existence, such was to be expected when experiencing severe blood loss. Memories of that night in the Shrieking Shack flashed before her eyes and her sob couldn’t be stopped.

“...n...no point.”

She stroked his face with her thumbs. “W-What do you mean? Of course there’s a point to living!” He slowly shook his head beneath her hands.

There were so many things she wished to say to him. How could she express in words how much he meant to her? This new, blossoming feeling in her heart had to mean something; he was more than just a friend to her, and the emotional pains around her heart were only caused by him.

“I need to move you out of here, so I can get help,” she moved her hands from his face and wiped away her tears.

“Go,” he grunted.

“I’m not leaving—you’ll give up if I leave, and I don’t want that!”

He stared at her with a dark look in his eyes. She pressed harder on his wounds causing him to hiss in pain.  _ I need somebody with a bloody wand! _ She glanced down the dark hallway for any sign of hope. He started to push at her hands so she looked back at him.

“Go!” he gasped for air and she shook her head at him.

“No! Think about what you’ll be leaving behind!” she looked into his eyes. “What about me?”

His eyes softened. “Granger—“

“If you really need something worth living for, then live for me, please…” his chest started to rise rapidly and her eyes widened.  _ What do I do? _ His eyes contained an emotion she wasn’t accustomed to seeing on him.

_ He needs to live… _

Hermione raised her shaking hands and cupped his face. He seemed shocked by the sincerity of her actions, and before he could open his mouth to say something, she slowly lowered her lips to his.

The kiss wasn’t mind blowing. All she could taste was the metallic pinch of blood and dirt. He was tense beneath, hardly moving against her lips. She pulled away slightly to look back into his eyes.

_ I’m in love with him. _ The thought shocked her still, but her frozen state was soon thawed when a hand buried into the back of her hair, avoiding the nasty cut there, bringing her lips down to his once more.

This kiss was much different. There was a sense of urgency about it. She could taste her own tears, but it didn’t matter at all. Their lips moved together frantically and she whimpered into his mouth and clutched at his torn clothes.

His hand gripped the flesh of her hip and he urged her closer a little. Her whole body flooded with desire and need, but this wasn’t the time for feeling such a thing.

A loud crash came from nearby, and Hermione heard the voices calling out her name along with Snape’s.  _ Aurors _ . She separated her lips from Snape’s and turned to glance down the hall, then when she turned back, his head fell against her hand.

Eyes closed. Chest no longer moving. And as pale as one can be.

“Help!” she screeched. “Someone please help me!”

 


	25. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Chapter 24**

Luna.

It was Luna who reached them first in the dungeon. It was Luna who held her back as she screamed for Snape as Healers pushed him off to the emergency room in St Mungo’s. It was Luna who embraced her as she collapsed on the floor gasping for oxygen. And it was Luna who sat by her side as a Healer inspected the damage done to her head, body and feet.

Hermione lay on the hospital bed staring at her friend while she slept in the chair nearby. She wasn’t sure how long had passed since she arrived, but she could hear the chaos on the other side of the door. She couldn’t get herself to ask the questions she wanted answers too in case the response was as bad as she feared.

She didn’t remember seeing Ron in the group of Auror’s that rescued her. She heard no talk of Harry or Vic. Nothing. Absolutely nothing about Professor Snape.

She pushed herself into a sitting position, immediately clamping her eyes shut from the pain that warmed the back of her head. After taking in a few quick breaths, she threw off the thin sheet and glanced at her feet. The cuts were healed, however faint scars littered the sole of her feet where stones and rubble had pierced her flesh too much.

She reached up her shaking hand to push her hair away from her face.

The noises coming from beyond the white door put her on edge, and it made her wonder how many casualties there had been. Their group had been small to begin with, but Hermione knew that McGonagall had the ability to be very persuasive during a time of need, so she wouldn’t be surprised if the remaining Order had reformed.

Hermione dangled her legs over the side of the bed and prodded her toes against the cold floor. _ I need to check if everyone is all right.  _ She hissed in pain as she stood up on her tender feet. The pain was bearable but still uncomfortable when she walked. She made it to the door with ease and slowly opened it up.

She used the wall to aid her as she moved down the busy hall in her hospital gown. The Healers were too busy rushing around to notice her escaping her room. She passed the doorways of many private rooms and wards, and at each one she paused to see if she could see anyone she knew. A few of them were ex-ministry workers who had offered to help them restore order to the wizarding world, and others were clad in black Death Eater robes that proved their loyalty to Lucius Malfoy.

The noise got louder as she made it to the stairs that led down to the main reception of St Mungo’s. Cameras flashed all around while loud voices screamed out questions. She saw McGonagall in the centre of it all looking tired and bruised.

Even though McGonagall had been cruel towards Snape, Hermione still found herself walking over to guard her from the spotlight. The Headmistress was too old to be under so much stress, especially while she was in such a state. The energetic voices paused at the sight of her, then their questions were directed towards her.

_ “What’s your relationship with the Ex-Death Eater, Severus Snape?” _

_ “Do you know who killed Draco Malfoy?” _

_ “What happened to Harry Potter? _

“Just shut up!” she yelled, and McGonagall placed a gentle hand on her back. “Have some respect! There are people fighting for their lives here, and you think it’s OK to come barging in here causing such a disruption! You’ll get the answers you want once everyone is stable!”

“Let’s get you back to bed,” McGonagall helped her up the stairs, but she paused at the yell from one of the reporters.

_ “Did you kill Draco Malfoy?!” _

Hermione took in a staggered breath, and McGonagall told her that she didn’t need to answer their questions, but she looked over her shoulder with anger flooding her eyes.

“Yes! I killed that filthy, little rapist, and I’d do it again if given the chance!”

An uproar followed, so McGonagall quickly took her away from the crowd of flashing cameras. They made their way down the corridor and towards her room.

“Where is everyone?” Hermione asked. “Ron? Harry? Vic? Professor Snape?!”

“Calm down, my dear,” she whispered. “They are being treated.”

“Treated? Are they all right?”

“I’ll explain once you get some rest.”

“I don’t need rest! Just tell me where they are!”

The door to her room opened and a worried Luna raced out. She relaxed at the sight of them and helped Hermione back to her bed.

“Can someone just tell me what happened?” Hermione refused to lay down much to the pairs persistent hands.

McGonagall sighed. “Ron is doing fine.”

“And what about the others?”

Luna placed a gentle hand on her shoulder which caused Hermione’s lip to waver in worry. “N-No one’s dead?”

“No...not yet.”

Hermione sobbed. “Yet?!”

“Harry, Vic and Severus are in critical condition, along with Richard.”

“Richard? Why is he hurt?” Hermione wiped her tears from her cheeks.

“He was the one who spotted you leaving with Professor Snape, so he came to tell me something was wrong,” she explained. “He was hurt protecting Luna.”

Hermione glanced her way and saw the sad smile on her face. “How critical?”

“They’re all being monitored carefully. Harry and Vic have lost a lot of blood and the knife used contained a lot of dark magic. Severus...well nobody seems to know what spells were used on him, and he’s slipped into a coma.”

She buried her face in her hands to cry. She’d tried her hardest to save him, but what if she hadn’t tried hard enough.  _ He’s going to die because of me! _

It was Luna who offered her words of comfort. “Professor Snape is a strong man; he’ll make it through this.”

“How can you be so sure?” Hermione lay down and stared at the ceiling. “This is all my fault.”

“Don’t be so silly!” McGonagall hovered over her. “None of this is your fault. The Malfoys are to blame for all this chaos.”

Hermione knew that she was right, but she still couldn’t get rid of the voice in her head saying otherwise. She just hoped that he made it through it alive, because she needed to speak to him again. Especially about that kiss. She wasn’t stupid or naive; it had been a kiss from a man so close to death, and perhaps it meant nothing to him, yet it meant everything to her.

_ We kissed.  _ She could hardly believe it.

Suddenly, she realised who hadn’t been mentioned.

“Penny! Where is she?”

“She is with Professor Snape,” Luna said. “She’s a bit dishevelled but safe.”

“Good,” Hermione relaxed slightly. “That’s good.”

“Yes it is, my dear, now get some rest,” McGonagall pulled the blanket over her. “I’ll let the Healer know that you are up and moving.”

“Can I go and see Professor Snape?”

“Not right now,” McGonagall tutted at her like she was a child, and Hermione glared through her pounding headache.

“I have no parents, therefore you don’t have a say in my actions,” Hermione tossed back the bedding.

“I am your Headmistress, Hermione, and you will speak to me with respect.”

“Aren’t you supposed to have respect for you colleagues? I bet Professor Snape would have a lot to say about you mistreatment of him,” she got to her feet and kept her hand on the bed to steady herself.

McGonagall had no right to talk about respect. She’d witnessed the woman speak ill of Snape whenever the opportunity arose, and she couldn’t let it happen any longer. He may have an attitude problem of his own, but even she knew that Snape would happily lay down his life to protect the Headmistress.

“I’m aware of the way I’ve treated him,” she sighed. “And I hope to make amends if he recovers —  _ when _ he recovers.”

Hermione wasn’t sure what she could do to make things right with him. The man had grown accustomed to being bullied his whole life — even though he did it to others — and McGonagall had been one of the few that he least expected it from.

“How?”

“I’ll be running as temporary Minister of Magic, and if I am voted in by everyone I wish to stay in that position,” McGonagall explained. “Hogwarts will be needing a new leader, and I would be willing to give Professor Snape my thoughtful recommendation for the role.”

Hermione’s eyes widened slightly. To anyone else it would sound like the greatest offer, but Snape would, undoubtedly, hold some form of negativity about the role of Headmaster after his first chance at trying it.

_ I would be friends with the Headmaster of Hogwarts. _ For some reason she smiled. “I think he might like that.”

_ I would’ve kissed the Headmaster of Hogwarts. _

Her eyes widened.

“What’s wrong?” Luna asked.

“Nothing.”

And so they waited.

Healers came in and out to check her over, none of them responded to her queries about her friends. She wanted to shout at them but she understood that everyone of them were busy dealing with the large wave of patients.

Hermione tried to stop herself from thinking about them. She really tried. However, as the hours went by her mind drifted back to the idea that they were all going to die.

Luna was no longer in her room, and she assumed that she’d gone to visit the injured.  _ I’m not even that hurt!  _ She just wanted to see them all; it only had to be a brief look-in.

When the last Healer left and the sun had started to set, Hermione came up with a plan to escape. She’d spent two hours devising her complex plan: she was going to walk out the door.

There was now silence throughout the ward she was on. The occasional chatter came from nearby rooms, so she quickly ran passed the doorways so she wasn’t spotted by one of her Healers. Her feet curled as she stared up at the signage for the building, and she searched for the intensive care ward.

_ Fifth floor. _

A herd of voices came from around the corner, so she quickened her pace muttering her pained protests under her breath. She came to the stairwell, deciding to use the stairs instead of the busy lift that carried visitors and patients.

_ I’m on the second floor _ , she stared up the stairs,  _ this should be easy. _

She used the banister to help her ascent to the fifth floor, and she arrived panting for air and gripping the back of her neck.  _ All right, perhaps I’m not entirely fine. _

The hallway the stairway led to was dimly lit yet there was a grey cast to it. She couldn’t see or hear any Healers, and the dull silence caused her throat to swell up. Tears stung her wide eyes as she thought about her fallen friends laying bleary eyed on an uncomfortable bed.

The first door she came to had a round window on it, and she glanced inside to see Luna fast asleep at Richard’s bedside. She frowned at the sight of his cut forehead.  _ He shouldn’t have got involved in this. How close is it now until the Valentine’s Day Festival? Close. And he might be turning up black and blue. _

Hermione carried on down the corridor using the wall for support. She passed a few more people, none of which were a part of their group, until she came to a stop at a small ward with three beds. Two of which were on display to those passing by and another was covered by a screen.

She took in a staggered breath when she saw the pale faces of Harry and Vic. They lay side by side fast asleep, and their chests almost moved in sync. Her bottom lip quivered as she stared at the black silhouette behind the blue curtain.

It didn’t take a genius to work out who was behind it.

Although she wished to rush to his side, she decided to stand in between Vic and Harry’s beds. The pair were shirtless with the blankets rolled down to their waists, leaving their patched wounds on show. She grabbed Harry’s hand in her shaking one, then leaned over to kiss his sweaty forehead.

The more she looked at them both, the more she knew they were going to be all right.  _ They have to be.  _ They have the same injuries so it made sense that if one of them made it then the other would.

Hermione moved to Vic’s side and smiled at him sadly. “You’ll get to tell him how much you love him soon.”

She reluctantly glanced over at the blue screen. The sound of charmed beeps that measured his heart rate passed by slowly. It hadn’t been a daunting sound to hear before but she couldn’t think of anything worse than listening to his irregular heartbeat.

Her fingers curled around the rough fabric and she took a few moments to compose herself, then she pushed it aside and stepped inside.

_ There isn’t a set way to react to seeing the man you...well...love, laying in a coma. _

Hermione took in a deep breath and walked over to his bedside. His chest was exposed to her and she bit her quivering lip to stop herself from sobbing. Nasty, unhealed gashes covered his upper body. Some of them had black tendrils of magic leaking into them, and others still throbbed open.

She released her bottom lip and cried loudly. There wasn’t much else she could do but sit on his bed and cry.

* * *

 

With her wand far away back at Hogwarts, Hermione had no idea how to tell the time when a Healer nudged her awake. She became aware of the feline presence by Snape’s head and she wondered where Penny had been since she arrived.  

Hermione’s back cried out in pain as she sat up straight. She’d slept awkwardly by his side hoping to experience the familiar warmth he brought to her body, but his skin was ice cold against hers.

“You shouldn’t be here,” the woman said.

“I know,” Hermione rubbed her eyes with a sad smile. “Is he going to be all right?”

The Healer sighed. “I’m not supposed to disclose such information.”

“Please,” she said. “I...I just want to know that he’s going to make it.”

“Although he’s in a coma he is stable,” the Healer rested her wand against his forehead. “I’m not sure how long it will take for him to recover. Nobody can identify what curses were used on him though.”

Hermione took his hand in hers. “What happened to Lucius?”

The woman’s face tensed up and her eyes lowered to the floor. “Nobody knows.”

“What?!” Her hold tightened on Snape’s hand. “H-How? I knocked him unconscious — this can’t be happening.”

“Calm down,” the Healer placed a hand on her shoulder. Hermione looked up at her gasping for oxygen. “I know it’s not useful information, but he’s the only one that hasn’t been found. Everyone that has been helping him is either dead or being heavily guarded here.”

It was useful information because it meant that he had no one to turn to for help.  _ I’m safe with everyone around me. _

“There’s a lot going on at the Ministry, but finding Lucius is everyone’s number one priority.”

“Good,” whispered Hermione. “I hope they catch him.”

“They will,” the Healer removed her hand from Hermione’s shoulder. “You should return to your bed.”

She didn’t want to. The feeling stirring inside her stomach told her to stay by his side.  _ Would he do the same for me? Does he even care that we kissed? What am I going to do when he wakes up? _

“I can get you a bed set up here if you like?”

Hermione smiled slightly. “I would like that.”

“I’ll go and get things sorted.”

Hermione watched her leave then returned her attention to Snape. Penny wasn’t willing to talk to her and she could see that she was worried about her master.  _ I wonder how she is feeling? _

“Are you all right?” she asked taking hold of Snape’s hand again.

**_“I’m just hoping that he’ll recover well.”_ **

Her tone of voice was tired and uncertain. Hermione frowned because that meant even his familiar didn’t have hope that he would make it.

Suddenly a loud screaming sound came from behind the curtain. Before Hermione could pull them aside to see what was happening, numerous Healers came rushing into the room. Hermione threw the curtain aside and spotted Vic convulsing on the bed, his head thrown back while screams ripped apart his throat.

Hermione went to ask what was happening, but Vic was soon being pushed away on his bed. Silence settled on the small ward and her heart thudded along with Snape’s heart monitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK. The story is now caught up with the story on FanFic! I have the next chapter almost finished, and Hermione will be in for a scary shock as it's revealed that she has a......
> 
> Not sure why it posted the chapters out of order but it’s fixed now!


	26. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Chapter 25**

For such a joyous and loving occasion, Hermione felt little love or joy. There had been an empty spot in her heart for two weeks now and only one thing could fill that void.

She stood in the doorway to the Great Hall and stared at the people passing by. The Valentine’s Day Festival was in full swing. Students, parents and people who had received invites, rejoiced in the lighthearted time that had been contagious since the Ministry reformed.

McGonagall, now Minister of Magic, stood behind the High Table talking to the temporary Headmaster, Flitwick. The hall was brightly decorated in pink and red thanks to Richard and Luna. Hermione had loosely helped with the planning, but the main event was functioning because of the Head Boy and his new friend.

Richard had been the first of her friends to be discharged from St Mungo’s, and he’d returned to Hogwarts immediately. Hermione followed shortly after, but it had taken McGonagall a few more days to persuade her to come back to Hogwarts. When she returned, she put her foot down when the annoying woman had tried to force her into her old Head Girl room.

After Hermione’s infamous stubbornness got McGonagall to give in, she was finally allowed into Professor Snape’s quarters where she slept on his sofa.

Before the war, the dungeons had always seemed dull and quiet, however, during her time in Snape’s chambers, the silence had been calming and warm. Now it had returned to what it once was.

She’d reclaimed her wand from beneath her pillow then pondered over how different things might’ve been had she had the damned thing during her kidnapping.

There were many ways that morning could’ve turned out; she felt nothing but happiness that the youngest Malfoy was gone from the world, yet Lucius was still out there somewhere.

As the days went by, Hermione felt herself slowly sinking back to her old ways. The simplest touches frightened her; she bathed with a hard-bristled brush that grated the layers of her skin; and her mind seemed to switch off from wanting human interaction. The only thing she looked forward to was spending a few hours a night at St Mungo’s.

Ron was recovering at The Burrow under Molly’s watchful eye, and he’d promised to show up this evening to support her. Harry was the first out of the voodoo knife duo to recover, but he still resides at the hospital so the Healers can aid in his recovery.

Vic’s body was taking longer to fight away the dark magic. He’d opened his eyes a few days ago but nothing had happened since. Hermione remembered smiling slightly at the way Harry started bouncing around when his eyes opened. Yet her mood soured as Harry’s happiness turned to dread when Vic didn’t wake up again.

When she wasn’t visiting Harry and Vic, she was in Professor Snape’s room. He’d been moved off the ward he shared with the other two boys since the threat of another attack wasn’t of a high risk. His room was still on the patrolling route of an Auror so Hermione felt assured that nobody would try to sneak in and harm him.

She usually fell asleep in the chair by his bed. Sometimes she’d talk to his unconscious form hoping that her voice would pull him back, but this wasn’t some soppy romance novel: she had no power over him.

The more time passed, the paler he got. Healers claimed that he was getting better, but the hollowness of his cheeks didn’t reassure her. She wanted to talk to him one last time. What if they never got to discuss the kiss? What if she never got to seek comfort from him?

It didn’t help that Penny hardly spoke to her. Because of the little research about familiars, Hermione could only assume that she was experiencing an excruciating sadness because her master was unresponsive. Hermione missed her mischievous friend, and it hurt her just that little bit more that she wouldn’t even talk to her.

Hermione took in a deep breath and smiled over at Luna. Her friend returned the gesture and led her over to where Ron was with his family. Molly went to hug her but immediately backed off when Ron moaned at his mother under his breath.

She hadn’t wanted it to be broadcasted everywhere, but unfortunately the truth had to come out eventually. Hermione was now labelled a hero for killing her rapist. Women had tried to invite her to empowering talks as a special guest, yet Hermione felt little empowerment. Yes, she felt no empathy towards Malfoy but why was it that being raped all of a sudden made her a worthy woman to other women?

Others, such as Molly Weasley, had tried to comfort her with hugs and sweet words.  _ This is exactly why I went to Professor Snape to begin with.  _ She flinched at the thought of him and moved closer to Luna’s side.

“How are Harry and Vic?” Molly asked.

“Fine,” Hermione said. “Professor Snape is still in a coma.”

She found it quite rude that Molly didn’t ask about him since she’d once spent most of her time fussing over him. Snape’s involvement in her recovery had been kept away from the public thanks to McGonagall, and he was revealed only as being someone who helped in her rescue, not as a kidnapped person.

Hermione was grateful for that since she didn’t want Snape waking up to a new wave of hero worshippers. Although she wished for him to wake up immediately, she understood that these things take time. The curses that damaged him are unknown, so there’s no way for anyone to tell how long his recovery will take.

“You look tired Hermione, perhaps you should spend more time recovering yourself? You’ve gone through a horrific trauma. Seeking some council will help you through such a difficult time.”

She bit her tongue. “There’s no need for such a thing. I feel fine.”

Molly smiled sadly. “Well, I’m always here if you need somebody to talk to, my dear.”

She nodded in response and watched Molly return to talking to Arthur. Ron came over and quickly apologised for his mother’s behaviour. She assured him that things were fine, then the pair talked about Harry’s well-being.

They stayed in the Great Hall for almost an hour until Richard took her out to the confession box. A Prefect stood by the stall watching the students who slipped their love notes into the box ready for them to be delivered during the night. Luna had thought up the concept and it was the only one that Flitwick would approve of. However, he did put a charm detector on to check if the notes were laced with any love spells.

“Are you going to put one in?” Richard asked.

Hermione gave him a funny look. “I’m afraid I don’t have anyone to confess to.”

Richard smirked. “Oh, well I guess I’ll just have to write something down.”

“Who are you confessing to?” She glanced over his shoulder as he leaned against the table. He grabbed the quill and started to scribble on the piece of paper.

“That’s a secret,” he blocked her view of the parchment. “But, I’ll tell you if you write a note to someone.”

Hermione wasn’t sure what Richard was trying to hint at. He couldn’t possibly know about the kiss she shared with Professor Snape, she wouldn’t dare tell anyone without his consent.  _ However, I could confess that I love him since he’ll never see it. I wonder who he is confessing to? Luna? I don’t think so, they seem to be good friends but nothing more than that. _

He posted his folded note then handed the quill to her. “It might cheer you up to get something off your chest.”

“Why are you being so...nosy?”

Richard laughed. “I’m just curious.”

“About what?”

“You and Professor Snape.”

Was it that obvious? Probably. He might have heard from Luna about her hysterical state when Snape had been taken away in St Mungo’s or perhaps he’d guessed correctly by chance?

“I’m not sure what you mean?”

Richard scoffed. “Luna said that—“

“I don’t care what she said!” Hermione crossed her arms. “How dare you disrespect him like that!”

“I-I was only having a laugh,” he held up his hands in defense. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Hermione sighed with a shake of her head. She wasn’t sure why it offended her so, but she didn’t like the idea of someone thinking that Snape was lusting after a student.  _ It’s only me that’s doing the lusting, not him...even though he kissed me back — it doesn’t matter! _

It annoyed her that it was all she could think about. Yes, she still thought about what Malfoy had done to her, but when she thought about Snape she felt happy. He was the only thing keeping her going right now, even though he was in a coma.

Richard walked away with another apology, and her eyes landed on the quill in her hand.  _ Should I? No...it’s a stupid idea… _

The Hufflepuff prefect smiled politely as Hermione slipped a folded piece of paper into the box. She placed the quill on the table then headed down the corridor back towards the Great Hall.

* * *

 

The sounds of Hermione’s sobs echoed down the long-term ward. She sat at Snape’s bedside with her elbows on his bed. She cried helplessly into her hands as she listened to the occasional beep of his heart monitor. There was no doubt in her mind that another person was sobbing a few floors down.

_ The Healers have given Vic a few hours left to live.  _ Hermione had arrived for her nightly visit to see Snape, only to have Harry race into her arms crying his eyes out. Vic’s condition had badly deteriorated all of a sudden and the Healers said there was nothing they could do to save him. Hermione stayed by his bedside for an hour then headed upstairs to cry in Snape’s room.

How had things gone wrong so fast? She couldn’t get the bloody image of Vic out of her head. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Lucius stabbing him in the stomach, and she kept hearing his shaking voice as he begged her to tell Harry that he loved him.

It had all become too much for her all of a sudden.  _ Vic’s going to die! Harry’s going to be destroyed! And what if Professor Snape never wakes up?! _

“Sir...Severus, I need you to wake up!” She glanced at Penny’s sleeping form. “Penny needs you — I need you to tell me that everything’s going to be all right. I want to talk to you about everything; I want to know how you feel about the kiss we shared! It’s OK if you don’t wish to discuss it, I’ll do anything if it means you’ll open your eyes and tell me to stop apologising for everything...just wake up, please.”

Nothing.

“I don’t know what I expected to happen — perhaps my angelic voice would pull you away from your slumber?!” She started to laugh. “I’m so stupid!”

Hermione stared at his pale face with an anguished look on her own. There had to be a way for her to fix it? To save Vic and get Snape to wake up. Penny wasn’t going to be any help since she only ever slept by his head, never responding to Hermione’s nudges and pleas.

She grabbed his cold hand and placed a kiss to his knuckles. “I have to get going now, Severus, I’ll be back tomorrow night, I promise.”

Hermione got to her feet and left the room dragging her bag behind her. She glanced down the grey corridor with a sigh. Her sad mind didn’t catch on to the Auror not coming past on his round — he always comes by when she’s finished.

With a heavy heart she headed towards the stairwell. The door shut behind her with a thud and she took a few moments to compose herself against the wall.

_ Things will get better...at least I hope they will. _

Ever so slowly, she slid to the floor with a sigh. She tossed her bag to the side and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. There was a chill in the stairwell that nipped at her skin, but little did she know it was from the dark creature that had entered the bottom of the stairwell.

“I need to calm down,” she whispered to her racing heart. “Harry’s going to need me very soon, and I have to be there for him—“ it was then that she heard the sound of claws against the concrete floor. She slowly brought her hands away from her eyes.

She took in a deep breath.

“Hello?”

No answer.

Hermione listened carefully for another noise but nothing followed.  _ I should get out of here. _ She came to the top of the well and glanced down the gap between the stairs. There was nothing but darkness below which unsettled her greatly. The whole thing reminded her of a muggle horror film.  _ I’m like the dumb blonde girl who goes headfirst into danger. _

She retrieved her wand from her boot and descended down the stairs. Each step she took she released a quick breath as fear tingled her spine.  _ I seriously need to calm down. _

Suddenly, the scratch echoed up again.  _ Perhaps it’s just a rat...a large rat? _ Hermione waited for it to come again but it didn’t.  _ I feel like I’m somebody’s prey. _

“Is anybody there?” Her grip tightened around her wand. “Hello?”

Hermione leaned over the railing to look down the gap. She muttered  _ ‘Lumos’  _ and pointed it into the darkness below. Even with the bright light she had to squint to see into the shadows.  _ I think I’m starting to get paranoid— _

A large, black tail poked out between the railing a few floors down.  _ W-What?  _ Hermione squinted some more then the unmistakable growl of a beast caused them to widen. The tail took off into the darkness and the scratching of claws started to come closer. Hermione scrambled up the few stairs she’d descended and ran back out into the desolate ward. She eyed the door as it shut behind her.

“What...was that?” She panted for oxygen. “Find...I have to find someone!”

Hermione looked around for the single Auror that always patrolled around this time.  _ Where is he? _ She must’ve been so out of it earlier not to notice his absence.

**BANG!**

She let out a frightened scream as the door, which opened into the stairwell, was hit with a heavy object. The silence after was short lived. Hermione found herself unable to move as the beast rammed its head against the solid door.

Her wand trembled between her fingers, and she slowly raised her wand and pointed it at the door.

**_“You’re startling the poor girl, Vincent. Stop it!”_ **

Hermione slid to the floor in surprise at the sight of Penny standing at the corner of the corridor. The feline moved tiredly towards the door, and with a tap of her paw, it opened on its own. Hermione gasped at the sight of the large, black lion before her. At least, she thought it was a lion.

The lion she now knew as Vincent, moved towards her. Hermione held her breath —  _ Penny wouldn’t let him hurt me, so he must be safe.  _ However, it didn’t stop her stomach from turning as he came face-to-face with her. His lip curled in a menacing growl giving her a chance to see his large teeth which could tear her face to pieces.

“Penny, what’s going on—“

Vincent lunged at her with his pink tongue moving up the side of her face. The beast jumped around in excitement, licking and nudging his face against her own. Hermione tried to push him away but he was overcome with so much joy that he was content licking her.

_ “Mistress! I finally found you, Mistress!” _

Hermione managed to push him away, and she stared at him in shock. “Mistress?!”

_ “I’ve just returned from searching in the Americas, and all I had to do was search this little island for you! Mistress, I’ve searched for so long — and you were with my Penny all this time!” _

“What’s going on?!” Hermione yelled at Penny. “Why can I hear him? Why is he calling me Mistress?”

**_“Calm down, dear. He speaks the truth — you can hear him speak.”_ **

“Yes, but I can hear you as well!” Her tired mind couldn’t grasp onto the simple concept.

**_“Well my master cares for you greatly, therefore you can hear what I say.”_ **

Hermione wanted to question her on the whole ‘intended soul’ ideology, but thought better of it as she stared more at the lion in front of her.

“H-How is it possible that I have a familiar? You must be mistaken — it can’t be possible that Severus and I have a familiar — there’s just no way!”

Vincent’s large tongue slid up the side of her face once more and she squealed in disgust. “First things first, you need to stop doing that!” His black eyes widened and he lowered his head.

_ “My sincerest apologies _ , _ Mistress.” _

Hermione reached up to scratch her head. “My name is Hermione.”

_ “Beautiful name! What a beautiful name!”  _ He bounced around with a smile on his face.  _ “I’m here to serve you until I take my last breath!” _

“All right…” Hermione gained control of her breathing. “This is weird. I just need a moment to gather my thoughts.”

**_“I’m going to head back to my master.”_ **

“Wait!” Hermione got to her feet. “How is he? W-Will he wake up soon?”

Penny bowed her head.  **_“Master is healing with my help.”_ **

With that, she disappeared around the corner. Hermione frowned then slid to the floor again. Penny’s words didn’t provide her with any comfort, but she was glad that the feline was up and talking to her.

Hermione closed her eyes for a few seconds, then she became aware of hot breath touching her cheek. She turned her head slowly to see Vincent beaming at her.

_ Well, my life couldn’t get any worse. _


	27. Chapter 26

_**Chapter 26** _

Hermione had readied herself to leave St Mungo’s to explain to the Headmaster that a lion would now have to live in the castle, when she heard Harry’s cries coming from the ward as she passed by. She arrived at Vic’s room in time to see the Healer pull the sheet over his face. Harry turned with tears in his eyes then raced into her waiting arms. His heavy weight dragged her to the floor and she cradled his head against her chest.

The Healers looked on with sad faces that soon turned to horror as Vincent walked into the room.

“He’s safe!” She exclaimed when one of them pulled out their wand. Harry sobbed loudly and she hushed him with a gentle stroke to his head.

_ “Mistress he’s in pain!” _

Hermione glanced back at him. “I know,” she squeezed Harry tighter.

_ “No! Man is in pain!”  _ He grumbled loudly and raced over to the bed.  _ “I can feel the pain! He’s crying out!” _

“Stop! He’s dead!” Hermione scowled at the lion. “Harry is grieving, stop talking—wait...crying out?”

Harry turned away from her chest to stare at the lion. “What’s going on?” He asked with a whimper.

“He’s my familiar, Harry, only I can understand him,” she offered him a small smile to ease the stricken look on his face, but it did nothing to stop his pain.

Hermione got to her feet and walked over to Vic’s bedside. Her eyes watered at the sight of his covered body, but she chanted a specific mantra to keep herself from breaking.

_ “Crying out how?”  _ She whispered in her mind.

_ “Put your hand on his chest,”  _ he said _. “I can sense the dark magic.” _

Hermione bit her bottom lip then placed her shaking hand over Vic’s covered chest.

_ “What now?” _

_ “Don’t you feel it?” _

_ “No.” _

Vincent started to pace around the room under the worried eyes of the Healers. Hermione stared at the covered body on the bed until Harry appeared by her side.

“He’s dead...right?” He wiped the tears from his cheeks.

Hermione nodded her head.  _ He’s dead...it’s not like he’s in some form of stasis… _

Her eyes widened and she frantically moved to put her hands on his chest. She shushed Harry’s concerned words and closed her eyes to focus.

_ His chest is warm — why is it warm? _

“Vincent! Is it a stasis spell?”

He turned his head suddenly then bounced over to her with a quick nod.  _ “My friend back in the Texas state had a master who talked about this dark curse a lot. It puts the person into stasis and mimics death. Since the curse is dark it’s rarely used, but the victims of it are usually pronounced dead more often than not, meaning they are buried alive and left to rot.” _

Hermione threw back the sheet and Harry latched on to her arm to stop her. “He’s alive, Harry!”

“What do you mean?” One of the Healers asked.

“He’s been hit with a stasis curse!” She exclaimed. “How do we fix it, Vincent?”

A Healer came over and waved about his wand. Hermione guided Harry over to a nearby chair and dropped to her knees in front of him.

“We’re going to save him, Harry,” she brushed his hair from his face. “I promise.”

Harry wrapped his arms around her neck and buried his face against her shoulder. “Thank-you.”

_ “—your scans aren’t going to work on helping him!” _

Hermione got to her feet and glanced over at Vincent. He stood by Vic’s bedside glaring at the Healers. “They can’t hear you, Vincent.”

_ “Oh, right...I forget sometimes.” _

“What is he trying to tell us?” The male Healer asked.

_ “Tell him that it can only be broken by a specific potion. I remember the ingredients but not the name of the concoction.” _

“He needs a potion,” Hermione explained. “He knows the ingredients but not the name.”

“How do you know he’s telling the truth?” The blonde haired Healer stepped away from Vincent.

“He’s my familiar,” she said. “One of his goals is to ease my stress and help those I care about.”

“Your familiar?” Harry said. “Since when?”

“Since less than an hour ago,” she offered him a weak smile. “I don’t think I’ve come to terms with it yet, but it’ll have to wait. I’ll brew the potion.”

“We have the facilities here,” one of the Healers said.

_ “What are the ingredients?” She asked Vincent. _

_ “Rock salt, unicorn tail, amethyst dust, Himalayan ghost butterfly wings...a drop of his blood, a drop of the brewers blood, unicorn bile and...well...a human sacrifice.” _

“A what?!” She screeched. “Are you kidding me? You should’ve told me that first before you gave us false hope!”

“What’s wrong?” Harry got up from the chair with fresh tears forming in his eyes.

“He...the potion needs a human sacrifice...it’s a bloody dark magic ritual…”

“Oh,” Harry frowned. “Oh…” he sat back down and buried his face in his hands.

“I’m guessing you don’t have the facilities here that deal with this type of potion.”

“We have to find Lucius now!” Harry snapped.

“We can’t do that,” Hermione said much to Harry’s dismay.

“Are you seriously defending that bastard?”

“Of course not!” She pushed her hair away from her face. “But if you want to be the one to explain to Vic that he digested another human being, then by all means, have at it!”

“B-But...who then?”

“Nobody,” she whispered. “Everything you’ve heard here will not leave this room.”

Hermione pulled out her wand.

“You want us to make a vow?” The younger woman asked.

“Yes,” she approached them. “I’ve talked about a very dark ritual, and I don’t want the media getting hold of it. They’ll either say I’m in league with the Malfoys or forcefully sacrifice someone and give it to Vic because he’s Harry’s lover.”

“I’ll be the sacrifice!” Harry yelled.

“Don’t be so stupid!” She yelled back. “So I have to tell him that he’s consumed the man he loves?!”

“Loves?”

“Yes, and you love him too, am I correct?”

Harry nodded.

“I know you wish to do everything within your power to save him, but sacrificing yourself isn’t one of them,” Hermione sighed. “Just leave it to me and I’ll think of something.”

They went about making an unbreakable vow, then it was decided that Vic would be moved to Grimmauld Place to recover. The younger Healer, Britt, was assigned to watch over them and it would be noted on the patient record that he recovered quickly and went home. Harry was still pale and squeamish but Britt promised to keep a close eye on him.

Hermione managed to return to Hogwarts only to be scolded by Flitwick for being away for too long. She’d hid Vincent to begin with so he didn’t startle the small man, but his sour mood lightened when he saw the large beast. She was told that he’d have to stay in her room, which meant he would be staying in Professor Snape’s quarters with her.

Later on, Hermione found herself staring at Vincent’s sleeping form through confused eyes.  _ I have a familiar...how? _ She rubbed her tired eyes.  _ Why does everything seem to happen all at once? _

There was too many big things happening in her life. Is Professor Snape going to make it? How on earth does she have a familiar? Will she find another way to save Vic?

So many problems with very little answers.

Even though she knew that the only way to discover what curses had been used on Snape was to hunt down Lucius, Hermione could only think about easing Harry’s pain and helping Vic.  _ There has to be another way to save him. _

That thought led Hermione through a sleepless night. She browsed the many books that lined Professor Snape’s walls, making sure to check each one for any protection charms. She wasn’t going to find an answer in the library, and she doubted that the restricted section would be of any help.  _ Snape has a complex collection of books about curses; I can only hope that his previous affiliation with the Malfoys may have influenced his purchasing habits. _

Vincent awoke as the sun began to rise and he greeted Hermione with impossibly bright, black eyes. _ “Good morning, Mistress.” _

_ Oh...now I understand why Severus hates being called Master so much.  _ It doesn’t make her feel warmth knowing that a creature has devoted its life to serving her. “Good morning.”

_ “You must rest!” _ He nudged her thigh with his head.  _ “Hurry and lay down.” _

“I’m fine,” she yawned. “I have to find a solution to save Vic.”

_ “There is no other way,” _ he said.  _ “It’s a mere coincidence that I used to be around the man who created such a curse, and I can assure you that I know every detail about it.” _

“Then how are we supposed to find a human sacrifice?!” Her tiredness was replaced with anger. “Why does everything have to be so dramatic? Why couldn’t the cure be simple enough for somebody to brew without killing someone and draining their own magic performing the ritual? None of this is fair! None of it!”

_ “Calm down, Mistress,” _ he said.  _ “We’ll figure out a way to save him.” _

“It’s not just that!” She snapped with tears in her eyes. “Severus is still unconscious and nobody expects him to wake up any time soon! Why can’t my life be simple? I wish I could’ve fallen in love with him under different circumstances...but I’m not sure whether that would’ve happened.”

_ “This Severus, is he Penny’s master?” _

“Yes,” Hermione wiped away her tears. “Apparently I’m his intended soul, whatever that’s supposed to mean.”

_ “I’m sure Penny is doing all she can to help heal him.” _

“Forgive me for being rude, but it isn’t good enough,” Hermione took in a staggered breath and leant against the wall. “I have to figure out how to save Vic first.”

Vincent paced around in circles. She watched on with disinterest, still unsure how she felt about having a familiar —  _ he’s a bloody lion _ .  _ I’m never going to be able to take him anywhere. _

_ “A human sacrifice is the essential part to the ritual,”  _ he said.  _ “There’s no way around it.” _

“Well, we have to find one,” she pushed herself away from the wall with a sigh. “You cannot force somebody to eat another human without their consent.”

_ “But it will save his life, Mistress!” _

“But it’s morally wrong!”

The pair stared at one another for a few moments until a knock sounded on the door. Hermione opened it up to find Flitwick and McGonagall standing there with concerned faces.

“We must talk about…” Flitwick trailed off and stared at Vincent.

“Come in,” she opened the door all the way and led them over to the sofa.

Hermione knew that she’d have to argue for Vincent’s cause ferociously. Flitwick would be easy to persuade whereas McGonagall liked to stick her nose into business not related to her.

She didn’t offer them any pleasantries or refreshments, and she found herself channeling her inner Snape by brooding in front of the fireplace.

Flitwick cleared his throat. “I feel we must lay some ground rules in regards to your familiar,” he said. “He’ll have to stay out of sight from the other students—“

“Perhaps you could send him somewhere else?” McGonagall said.

“Not a chance,” Hermione stared at the flames. “You should think about setting up a department for familiars. I’m sure there are more creatures out searching for their Master or Mistress. Each one needs to be registered as official — how about you actually do something useful as Minister of Magic.”

McGonagall frowned. “I thought we’d cleared this bad blood between us?”

“You annoy me,” she retorted. “Just keep your nose away from my personal business.”

“We used to be so close? What went wrong?”

Hermione smirked to herself then took a seat in the nearby armchair. “You’ve always irritated me, but it took me to witness your mistreatment towards Professor Snape to lose all respect for you,” she saw the awkwardness on Flitwick’s face. “Anyway, this isn’t about our troubles but about Vincent.”

Vincent perked up at the mention of his name and started to pant like a dog. Hermione placed her hand on his black head with a small smile.

“I’ll do my best to keep him away, but as you can see he’s difficult to hide. We’ll no longer be a problem when it’s time for me to graduate.”

“Don’t rush your plans too soon,” Flitwick eyed Vincent with a smile. “You’re always welcome here.”

“Thank-you,” Hermione sighed. “Is that all?”

“We just wanted to see how you are coping with things,” McGonagall got to her feet. “However, you seem to have everything under control. I’ll be stopping by to check on Severus tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to run it by me,” she muttered. “I’m not his carer.”

“I know.”

McGonagall left with a solemn look on her face, and Flitwick soon left after petting Vincent. Hermione took in a few deep breaths then relaxed on the sofa.

The early hours of the morning soon turned into a cold afternoon, and Hermione stayed on the sofa staring blankly at the fireplace. Her thoughts drifted from thinking of a new cure for Vic, to the man she loved laying alone in a dark room. She knew that she couldn’t let her negative thoughts control her actions. There was a chance that Vic would survive as well as a chance that Professor Snape would wake up. Yet, without Snape by her side, she felt lost and alone. She’d depended on him so much since Halloween and she was starting to realise how much of a problem it had become.

To recover, she needed to separate herself from him, but she wasn’t sure her heart could handle the pain it would inevitably bring.


End file.
